I don't know if I want to know the sex

chantel andrews · April 2015

im so undecided on whether to find out the sex of our baby, hubby says he is happy either way. We have our anatomy scan on Tuesday, are there any mom's that have chosen not to choose and to choose, what are your opinions ?

TIA

squidlydoo · April 2015

We chose not to find out!! It was hard, we almost did cave but so glad we didn't!! There are very few surprises left in life.

Bethanie2 · April 2015

I've got my 20 week scan next week, but my husband doesn't want to find out as he said that it was amazing being able to shout 'it's a girl!!' with our first. This time around though, I have been sooo curious and trying all the old wives tales and looking at the skull theory to try and hazard a guess!! It's doing my head in!!!! He said we could find out but then has this 'face' which makes me feel guilty!!!! :-S arrrrgggh!!! ps I have no idea what I'm carrying and so curious as to how some people just know what sex their carrying!!

nevey11 · April 2015

Yep, we're both happy to wait. For the same reason the above poster said - it really is the one of the only surprises in life.

mrscate88 · April 2015

We found out right away, at 13 weeks, and at the time I was sooo happy to know!! Now a piece of me wishes that we had kept it a surprise, it would've been an amazing experience to find out on the day of her birth. I'm still happy to know, and honestly with my planning obsession and our excitement over our first baby, we just didn't have any desire to wait at that time. If you can manage waiting for the surprise, go for it!

jessbenway · April 2015

We have chosen not to find out as we already have b/g twins. Just remember it's an awesome surprise whether it be at 20 weeks or 40!

ktbkitten · April 2015

I hate surprises. I want to know because it make me feel more prepared. If you want to wait, it must be an awesome surprise!

jbettles · April 2015

We are finding out. I'm way too impatient, for one, and for another, we already had a girl and have all girl stuff, but if it's a boy we'll have to do some shopping!

eb173 · April 2015

My husband and I have decided to wait. I have an 8 year old boy from a previous relationship so I am pretty much starting all over again feel like a FTM. This baby being a surprise I think will be so exciting. We had a friend who had a baby a few months ago and they didn't find out, said it was the best surprise of their life, solidified our decision to wait until birth.

beansideirae · April 2015

if you think there are no surprises left in life then you should try being me for a day, lol -- I feel like life is nothing BUT surprises, and a lot of them are bad. I've never been a fan of surprises anyway. we are finding out MONDAY and I feel like I can't possibly wait that long! lol

momofsweetps · April 2015

We are waiting until birth to find out. I am too excited to have my husband shout it at birth. This is baby #6 & the first time we aren't finding out.

rachelkawesome · April 2015

I am a FTM who's been on both sides of wanting to know/not wanting to know!

At first, I really wanted to not know until the birth. I wanted to have the surprise at that time. And I really want to get gender neutral baby clothes so I can reuse them with the next kid, so if no one knows the sex, everything has to be gender neutral

I think some people are really dying to know, and I'm just not one of those people. I think I'll care more for the next one (I not-so-secretly want a boy and then a girl), but for this one anything was good!

But, we had an abnormal result on part of the NT screening, and at that point I did a complete 180! First of all, we did the MaterniT21 which I knew would be 100% accurate for sex. I felt like I wanted to know to be prepared. And I felt a little disconnected to the pregnancy, and very stressed, and I thought finding out would be a piece of news that couldn't be bad, when we were getting so much bad news. And it really did help me reconnect!

I actually think you are lucky to be on the fence! That way if you go to the scan and the legs are crossed, you'll be less disappointed! And you can skip an extra sono just to find out the sex, which would save time and money.

jen83mn · April 2015

FTM here and we decided from the beginning we didn't want to find out until the birth. It's totally against my character since I'm usually such a planner (I already have the nursery almost finished!), but since it wouldn't affect our buying or decorating decisions since we wanted to do gender neutral anyways, there was no reason we had to find out before birth. I'm so excited for that big surprise the day of!! And it's also fun keeping everyone else in suspense ... seems like so many people find out nowadays that everyone is shocked when you tell them you're choosing to wait. We plan on doing a lottery pool at our showers to guess the gender, then birth date, then weight of the baby. Everyone throws in $5 and the winner gets the $ pool! (People have to get the gender right first, then be the closest to the date of birth, then the weight is the tie-breaker if you need one.). My brother-in-law and his wife did this with their first and it was so much fun! Everyone has predicted we're having a boy ... It will be a total shock if it ends up being a girl!

PregNancyClark · April 2015

I remember with my son, as soon as we confirmed his sex, we decided on his name, we felt like we really knew him... It was the beginning of feeling truly connected to the baby and the pregnancy. I've not felt like that yet with this baby. I'm not showing much and I feel pretty normal. I want to find his/her sex ASAP. I'm expecting to feel connected and excited and to be able to talk to the baby better and pray for him/her more specifically. I'm about 99% sure we want to know if possible. 12 more days!!!

nursekatie47 · April 2015

I loved waiting and guessing. It was so awesome to hear DH say "I think its a girl". We already have tons of gender neutral stuff, so it's easy not to know.

WDDCH · April 2015

I've done both. It's so special either way. We waited last time and I decided to find out this time (we had our scan yesterday). I loved waiting with my last little guy.

I was 99% sure it was a girl this time so I told her to go ahead and confirm (I was right). It was also super special.

Either way you're going to find out. If you truly want to wait then make up your mind now and resolve to not cave at the sonogram. Once you get through that sono it's easy!

AshandJesse9409 · April 2015

FTM here and we've decided to wait. We think it will be an amazing surprise to find out at birth. If all goes well, we are planning to have more than one child, so we figured we should get gender neutral stuff anyways. My family, friends and coworkers are already planning pools on guessing what the sex/date/time/weight will be! I'm delivering at the hospital I work at too, so that will surely be a fun and suspenseful day haha. I'm actually loving the fact that no one knows and hearing everybody's guesses and old wives tales on whether its def a boy/girl. Keeps it fun

ftm0915 · April 2015

I read an interesting article about reasons to wait to find out, but my top reasons are
1. I don't want to set an expectation for one or the other and I want to genuinely be happy and excited for a healthy baby, not the decorations, names, or anything else.
2. I don't have a child yet so I also don't have to fight the hope of having the opposite of what ever sex my first child was.
3. I'm trying to go all natural for a ton of different reasons, and although those are valid and meaningful to me, find out the sex the moment they are born is an added bonus to push that baby out, because I am very intimidated by the pain.
4. Gender neutral everything means hand-me-downs for all babies. And I'm bout that.

Everyone has their reasons. I hope that you go into your appointment knowing what you want and stick to it! Don't waiver because you may regret it.

Good luck!!!

mrscate88 · April 2015

ftm0915 said:
I read an interesting article about reasons to wait to find out, but my top reasons are
1. I don't want to set an expectation for one or the other and I want to genuinely be happy and excited for a healthy baby, not the decorations, names, or anything else.
2. I don't have a child yet so I also don't have to fight the hope of having the opposite of what ever sex my first child was.
3. I'm trying to go all natural for a ton of different reasons, and although those are valid and meaningful to me, find out the sex the moment they are born is an added bonus to push that baby out, because I am very intimidated by the pain.
4. Gender neutral everything means hand-me-downs for all babies. And I'm bout that.

Everyone has their reasons. I hope that you go into your appointment knowing what you want and stick to it! Don't waiver because you may regret it. Good luck!!!

Best answer I've ever heard from anyone, on any topic! I'm so excited for your surprise!

bouncypigeon · April 2015

I definitely understand wanting to wait until they are born to find out, but I don't think it takes away the surprise! You just get the surprise sooner! I'm Mrs. Plannypants so I want to find out now.

mrscate88 · April 2015

bouncypigeon said:
I definitely understand wanting to wait until they are born to find out, but I don't think it takes away the surprise! You just get the surprise sooner! I'm Mrs. Plannypants so I want to find out now.

I like to plan ahead too and although lots of gender neutral stuff is great, I want some girlie stuff too and don't intend to go shopping much that first few months. I'm excited to know, but if I'm ever blessed with a second baby, I might opt for the delayed surprise just for the fun of it :-)

beStillbeBright · April 2015

ftm0915 said:
I read an interesting article about reasons to wait to find out, but my top reasons are
1. I don't want to set an expectation for one or the other and I want to genuinely be happy and excited for a healthy baby, not the decorations, names, or anything else.
2. I don't have a child yet so I also don't have to fight the hope of having the opposite of what ever sex my first child was.
3. I'm trying to go all natural for a ton of different reasons, and although those are valid and meaningful to me, find out the sex the moment they are born is an added bonus to push that baby out, because I am very intimidated by the pain.
4. Gender neutral everything means hand-me-downs for all babies. And I'm bout that.

Everyone has their reasons. I hope that you go into your appointment knowing what you want and stick to it! Don't waiver because you may regret it. Good luck!!!

Having given birth 2 times, I can tell you that you aren't going to need any motivation other than getting the baby out. I promise.

mybabynumber2 · April 2015

squidlydoo said:
We chose not to find out!! It was hard, we almost did cave but so glad we didn't!! There are very few surprises left in life.

This^^ :-)

mrstzouganos · April 2015

We found out on Friday! We were set on not finding out however, It was the "good news" that we needed! After having a really trying past 3 weeks we changed our minds! I was bleeding, then I had a severe infection in my intestines (that we are praying is completely gone) that had me on bed rest and on top of it all the lab did an erroneous test on my blood that came back with a positive marker for downs, I was just overwhelmed and needed something to make me reconnect with my little baby!! It was hard being told over a 3 week timeframe that they might have to take the baby early if the infection doesn't clear up and that your life is at risk then the icing on the cake was the results of the blood test. Needless to say we are awaiting the results of the MaterniT test but we were in desperate need of "good news" and when they told us what we were having it was amazing! We will know 100% after we get the test results but the sonogram was pretty clear! Whatever your choice do what you feel in your heart, it is completely up to you!! It is a feeling that is hard to explain, you find out the gender and you name your baby and when delivery day comes it's amazing because you finally get to put a name to the little face you have been carrying for 9 months!! It's still an amazing feeling!!

mybabynumber2 · April 2015

@mrstzouganos sorry to hear you've been through all that ! Oh my you poor thing.
I'm glad things have turned out ok for you, you must have been a nervous wreck.

Good luck on everything. Keep us posted won't you :-)

LoveLee85 · April 2015

We found out at 20 week anatomy scan!! It's STILL an amazing surprise either way! Kind of annoys me when people act like finding out at 20 weeks isn't a surprise?! Lol!

We wanted to know so we could cross off one whole side of the store, and names to pick from! Since finding out we are having a boy, I am more excited, less overwhelmed, and ready to get stuff done for our boy's arrival!

Either way it's the surprise of a lifetime!!! Enjoy!!! There is not wrong decision!

theglitteredpterodactyl · April 2015

ftm0915 said:
I read an interesting article about reasons to wait to find out, but my top reasons are
1. I don't want to set an expectation for one or the other and I want to genuinely be happy and excited for a healthy baby, not the decorations, names, or anything else.
2. I don't have a child yet so I also don't have to fight the hope of having the opposite of what ever sex my first child was.
3. I'm trying to go all natural for a ton of different reasons, and although those are valid and meaningful to me, find out the sex the moment they are born is an added bonus to push that baby out, because I am very intimidated by the pain.
4. Gender neutral everything means hand-me-downs for all babies. And I'm bout that.

Everyone has their reasons. I hope that you go into your appointment knowing what you want and stick to it! Don't waiver because you may regret it. Good luck!!!

So much this, especially the first one. I can see how a lot of parents feel more connected knowing the sex and name etc of the baby but for our first time around we wanted to be team green. Somehow I feel more connected to it not knowing little details about it, like the baby is this cool stranger I'm growing and get to meet all at once when it comes out. I think we'll find out ahead of time for the next one but for now I'm having a lot of fun buying clothes because I think they're cute and guessing with old wives tales (all of them, plus my fit, day it's a girl. SO is guessing boy but only when I really push for an answer, he's super neutral either way. I think for me, personally, I would have a hard time not locking in on their sex and making it their whole identity since it's the only piece of information I'd have about them (not saying everyone is like that, just that I probably would be). This mystery helps me keep in mind the perspective of them as a whole, independent person.

sarahmschwab · April 2015

I wanted to not find out with the first until my husband pointed out that if you have an ultrasound, the surprise is already out (most likely the technician will know). The difference is that now it's become a secret that is being kept from you by a total stranger.

We always find out. And it is a very special moment every time we do.

That being said, you get to decide and there isn't a right or wrong way.

sarahmschwab · April 2015

I should also point out that with my third boy I was so used to seeing not parts on ultrasounds that there was no way we could have not found out ... clear as day that thing was!

This time around, especially, our boys are pretty set on a sister and I think it'll be good for them to have time to adjust their thinking if they need to.

KERJF · April 2015

We always find out. We like knowing. And for us especially this time - we need to know what to prepare for because two of our kids will be sharing a room. Just depends on who if its a boy or girl

And the way I see it ... It is a surprise whether you know now or at babys birth ... so it is still one of those "surprises in life"

sugarmagn0lia · April 2015

We're waiting

My biggest reasons are these: even though the baby may be entirely unaware, I don't want any gender roles set out so early on. Society will do plenty of a good job enough on all of that later. I'm not a girly girl and my fella is not a sporty-type man's man, so we'll want to put this one and any subsequent kiddos in the same funky, tie dye and band onsies anyhow. We don't need our baby to be our "little ballerina" or "little footballer" right off the bat. (I'm not at all saying that that's how it shakes out for everybody, it's just one of the ways we think about it. Even if you don't gender your babes, other people tend to, you know?) The other kicker for me is that my SO is never the first to know anything with all of this, since it isn't his body that it's happening to. But! He can know our baby's sex first

and I want that special moment when my man tells me something about the little human we just brought into the world, instead of some doctor telling me.

newtothiswholething · April 2015

I'm so excited to be having a baby!. I honestly don't care if it's a boy or girl so I'm waiting until the birth to find out. I love all the speculation from Frieda and family either way and in the meantime I am shopping girl AND boy and saving all my receipts!

WDDCH · April 2015

Bethanie2 said:
ps I have no idea what I'm carrying and so curious as to how some people just know what sex their carrying!!

LOL! For me I have had three girls and two boys already. I knew this baby was a girl because I could eat sweets (could not eat them with my boys, I'd actually feel sick if I tried). I was so convinced this baby was a girl that I changed my mind about waiting. I told the tech to go ahead and confirm and sure enough it's a girl. Guess they really are made of sugar and spice!

We waited with our last little guy. I thought girl at first (I think mostly because I wanted a girl), before really having symptoms and cravings/aversions but as the pregnancy went on I knew he was a boy. No shock when he was born a HE!

Some moms know without having anything to compare to but my last two and this current one I've known because I've had experiences to base my guesses on.

I don't know if I want to know the sex

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