Community› The Bump Month Clubs› March 2015 Moms
March 2015 Moms
New Discussion

Dr. Get your fingers out of there!

MauiQuickieMauiQuickie member
in March 2015 Moms
I gave birth on March 4 in a very fast and furious delivery. I wanted an epidural but there was no time. I went from cool as a cucumber to completely out of control of my body in an hour. (3 to 10 cm just like that) it was awful, as I'm sure most of you know! I pushed for 45 minutes and near the end, my OB kept putting her fingers inside me and pulling or stretching me really hard! I was begging her to stop because it made my pain skyrocket way worse than even the normal pushing. Did you have that same experience? I can't find info on google about why there is a reason for Drs to stretch you. I tore second degree anyway and my doc was saying stuff like "well I haven't had to cut you yet" referring to an episiotomy. I think that was a cruel motivation tactic. I'm wondering if any of that pulling was necessary since on average it takes a first time mom 1.5 hours to push out baby in an unmedicated birth. Mine was still way faster than that, and I know the baby was fine through all of it due to the heart rate monitor. Any insight or similar experiences would be appreciated. I may have to find a new doctor next time....
Report Reply to Post

Re: Dr. Get your fingers out of there!

  • adelemsadelems member
    Wow sounds like a really intense labor! My first was 5 hours start to finish with only like 15 to 20 minutes of pushing. My doctor did stretch/massage me some but it was nothing that was that intense... At least I don't really even remember her doing it. I know she did, but i don't have a distinct memory of any pain or anything.

    I'm really sorry it was so painful for you! I can't really offer any advice on that except for personal experience which was that my doctor massaged/stretched gently and it wasn't particularly painful for me and I didn't tear all that much. :-?
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • MauiQuickieMauiQuickie member
    Well thanks for your response! I'm glad your experience was better. I'm still curious to see if anyone else felt like I did
    Report Reply
  • klcarr19klcarr19 member
    Wow! So sorry you had to go through that. I've never heard of anything like that before. So I have no idea why on earth they would do that! I had a first degree tear but nothing like that. :( I'd be interested to hear some science behind why your dr did that though... Sounds crazy
    Report Reply
  • elizalegselizalegs member
    I am sorry too; she may have seen what is called a cervical lip, and if she could tell the baby was really charging down the canal, knew that this could cause a swollen cervix and even obstruct the baby from coming through. I would consider that a best case scenario (for her intervention, that is) and really encourage you to ask WHY she did that. Since it was so intense, she may not have even been able to express this to you at the time. It may help you find some peace of mind. Another (far worse) thing she could have been trying to prevent is a cervical tear which is basically as awful as it sounds, and can pose more complications later. Speaking of tears...

    One thing that will hopefully bring you peace (even though i absolutely DETEST how she phrased, "Well I haven't had to cut you yet...", I agree, such a nasty way to put it) is that often times tearing heals WAY better than an episiotomy. If there are any sewers or quilters out there, you'll know what I am talking about. When you try and tear a piece of fabric it's way more resistant than if you put a little cut in and THEN apply pressure. Doesn't matter how small the cut is, once the muscles are separated from interlocking in their natural pattern, they have way less resistance. Epis may start small but get BIG whereas a tear usually heals stronger in the spot it occurred. 

    But I have heard of many whom have had to have their cervix stretched, due to the head-shape of the baby or being hung up on a  part of the face or a cervical lip, and I've heard it's EXCRUCIATING. I can only imagine it would be worse with someone who is not very empathetic, so I am so sorry you had to go through that! I hope however that you are able to find some answers that will help you find some relief. How have you been healing?
    Report Reply
  • cmcintoscmcintos member
    My labour was super fast/intense as well. From 5cm to 10cm in 45 mins. I only pushed for 12 mins and she was out, so they never had to stick fingers in there as far as I know. I was also in medicated, there was just no time. But no clue what they were doing down there. I tore as well. That hurt like hell without drugs. But my recovery has been excellent. :) apparently much better then if you did have drugs.
    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Pregnancy tickers

    Report Reply
  • KD32412KD32412 member
    Hahaha! I know what you are talking about. My first birth was similar, I wanted to tell my doctor to stop "helping" me. I tore as well, needed three stitches. In the end though, I healed pretty fast and my lady parts feel the same (according the hubby). Did your doctor use mineral oil as well?
    Report Reply
  • MauiQuickieMauiQuickie member
    Well thank you for the info... I'm eager to ask her what the heck happened at my post partum appointment. Ive read that episiotomies are not helpful to the mother so thank God she didn't do that to me. That was one of my biggest fears (I didn't know about the finger stretching). I do remember some awesome lube they poured on me during the action, but I don't know if it was mineral oil. Whatever it was felt good. I certainly got stitches afterward, but 3 weeks later they have all disappeared and I'm feeling so much better. My recovery has been way easier than I anticipated. I wonder if it was the cervix issue you're referencing... Yikes. It totally felt like she was stretching the muscles below my wahoo though.... Like 6 inches in my mind! Yikes thank God that's over
    Report Reply
  • myjessesgirlmyjessesgirl member
    As mentioned above, the cervix getting in the way might have been an issue. I had a cervical lip that they pushed aside, but I had an epidural, so didn't feel much. I also had a very sympathetic midwife who explained everything. My pushing experience was quite different: after 3 1/2 hours, they finally used the vacuum. I was far too exhausted at that point (awake for about 36 hours by then) and it was quite a relief. After delivery, however, they thought I had a cervical tear, which was pretty scary. Thankfully, it was just a lot of bleeding and a couple vaginal tears. But I certainly would not have wanted a cervical tear, especially seeing how seriously they react when they suspected it.
    Report Reply
  • kelseypiekelseypie member
    It sounds like she was probably just trying to help you. You seem to have the impression that tearing usually happens from pushing a long time (you mentioned your pushing time vs. average first time mom). I believe that it's actually more often the other way around. The baby needs to be able to ease down and slowly stretch you. She was probably just trying to massage your perineum and help you be able to control and direct your pushing

    My midwife did this with me (I pushed for 25 min), and it helped me keep from completely re-opening my episiotomy scars. I wouldn't say it hurt, but it was uncomfortable. What's more uncomfortable is serious tearing or an episiotomy. Fortunately, I understood what she was doing from reading about birth.

    She should have stopped if you asked her to, but I really doubt she was just doing it to hurt you.



    image

    image

    image 

    Report Reply
  • elizalegselizalegs member
    kelseypie said:

    It sounds like she was probably just trying to help you. You seem to have the impression that tearing usually happens from pushing a long time (you mentioned your pushing time vs. average first time mom). I believe that it's actually more often the other way around. The baby needs to be able to ease down and slowly stretch you. She was probably just trying to massage your perineum and help you be able to control and direct your pushing

    My midwife did this with me (I pushed for 25 min), and it helped me keep from completely re-opening my episiotomy scars. I wouldn't say it hurt, but it was uncomfortable. What's more uncomfortable is serious tearing or an episiotomy. Fortunately, I understood what she was doing from reading about birth.

    She should have stopped if you asked her to, but I really doubt she was just doing it to hurt you.

    Yes I totally agree with this - often when people tear (or at least tear badly) it's because the urge to push has overtaken what their skin's capacity is.. your MW sounds amazing!!!!

    Report Reply
  • elizalegselizalegs member
    MauiQuickie said:

    Well thank you for the info... I'm eager to ask her what the heck happened at my post partum appointment. Ive read that episiotomies are not helpful to the mother so thank God she didn't do that to me. That was one of my biggest fears (I didn't know about the finger stretching). I do remember some awesome lube they poured on me during the action, but I don't know if it was mineral oil. Whatever it was felt good. I certainly got stitches afterward, but 3 weeks later they have all disappeared and I'm feeling so much better. My recovery has been way easier than I anticipated. I wonder if it was the cervix issue you're referencing... Yikes. It totally felt like she was stretching the muscles below my wahoo though.... Like 6 inches in my mind! Yikes thank God that's over

    Yes, I really believe she did you a favor given how fast your labor went. I can assure you pretty confidently that had it gone down any other way you would not be sitting on a healed bottom right now, 3 weeks later!  =D> The lube is certainly from heaven. and yeah if the baby were presenting weird or really super fast, it's totally possible that it would be presenting/bulging below your 'wahoo' and that would def. feel wayyyy closer to your rectum. Sounds like overall you got exactly the care provider you needed at the moment. I felt the same way when my MW came in with my first (she was my least favorite in the practice). But there was one tricky moment and she handled it like a pro, so despite her not being my fave, I couldn't complain.  Update us when you get the pospartum visit!
    Report Reply
  • MauiQuickieMauiQuickie member
    Yeah this was more than "uncomfortable" and I still can't find literature explaining this practice. I go back April 13 for post partum so I'll ask then. I had another nurse standing on my iv and it was ripped out in the thick of it, so I'm not too happy with how it all went down.
    Report Reply
  • adelemsadelems member
    MauiQuickie said:

    Yeah this was more than "uncomfortable" and I still can't find literature explaining this practice. I go back April 13 for post partum so I'll ask then. I had another nurse standing on my iv and it was ripped out in the thick of it, so I'm not too happy with how it all went down.

    Standing on your IV?!?! @-) Sounds like you had quite the terrible experience!
    Report Reply
  • elizalegselizalegs member
    ugh this really sounds like a mess. I will ask my MW today about her opinion on manually stretching cervix to accommodate head. Like I said it's not unheard of and certainly not uncomfortable but I'm pretty sure that if it was that excruciating, it wouldn't be common enough for many of my MW friends to implement it. My MW is a research expert and tends to lean away from unnecessary interventions - even cervical checks - so it will be intriguing to hear her opinion. As for the nurse, jeez!? that seems like a total rookie amateurish experience... sending mind hugs your way!
    Report Reply
  • TwinsCitiesMommaTwinsCitiesMomma member
    My two cents: I asked my midwife to apply hot compresses and gently stretch as we went along. Turns out LO was stuck just under my pelvic bone and I couldn't push him under and out. Midwife did get her hands all I'm there to really stretch me as time went on but I know it was to help him. I went to a baby-friendly, crunchy hospital and I knew it was serious when they actually asked me if they can perform an episotimy. I trusted her completely and knew we were out of options as I neared my 4th hour of pushing. We did the cut. Yes, it hurt but my focus was to get him out of there. As I write this I'm actually pausing to cry because it was very traumatic and I didn't know what was going to happen. But that not knowing gave me the strength to push with every once of being I had.

    When they sewed me up, it took forever. 4th degree tear. I barely noticed because I made myself focus on the slippery little person they had dropped on my chest to distract me. I'll also attribute this to the epidural that still lingered.

    OP-Unfortunately, it's hard to tell what the real motivation is behind a docs decisions and I truly hope he did what he did bc it what was best for you and baby- not what was convenient for him.

    Report Reply
  • AktnAktn member
    I am so sorry you went through that. Just think you did all of this with NO MEDICATION!! You are a warrior honey! It is hard in the chaos of labor to communicate with our Doctor. Everything hurts,you are doing one of the hardest things the human body does, you are in extreme pain, you are incredibly primal! Your doc probably didnt mean to use it as a scar tactic. My best guess is she was tryin to help the baby come out. By not telling you specifically her purpose she may have been saving you some unnecessary fear. I would just ask her about it at your next check. Explain how you feel. I am sure if other than that one thing during birth you have liked her as your OB then she should be able to satisfy you with her answer. My OB was MIA for my delivery. I had the on call OB cat in for me during L&D. God when I first encountered her (right on admittance) she pissed me off. Like really... I hated her. But she ended up saving my baby and my life. I had to have an emergency c section. My babies heart rate dropped to 50 bpm and I too was having heartrate and breathing issues.. this all went down hill in a matter of minites. I had to try and push baby out but he wouldnt budge! He was a week late already so clearly he was stubborn! She tried the vacuum to help me to no avail and then rushed us to the OR. She had me knocked out and my baby out all within 5 minutes. Without her quick thinking and action... I cant imagine what would be now.
    Report Reply
  • MauiQuickieMauiQuickie member
    Wow! Thank you for your stories. I appreciate your sympathy tremendously. @TwinsCitiesMomma , I am so sorry about your 4th degree tear. That makes me want to cry for you! I think all in all my labor was a lucky one, but I did talk to a retired L and D nurse yesterday that said the hands in there sounded like abuse and she had never heard of such a thing in all her years. I'm still waiting for my postpartum visit to sort things out, but now I'm almost scared to go confront her. I have to know though. Will keep you posted.
    Report Reply
  • MauiQuickieMauiQuickie member
    @elizalegs , did you ever find out anything from your midwife? I'm curious
    Report Reply
  • adelemsadelems member
    MauiQuickie said:

    Wow! Thank you for your stories. I appreciate your sympathy tremendously. @TwinsCitiesMomma , I am so sorry about your 4th degree tear. That makes me want to cry for you! I think all in all my labor was a lucky one, but I did talk to a retired L and D nurse yesterday that said the hands in there sounded like abuse and she had never heard of such a thing in all her years. I'm still waiting for my postpartum visit to sort things out, but now I'm almost scared to go confront her. I have to know though. Will keep you posted.

    I wouldn't worry about asking. Just don't consider it confrontation. You have a right to know!
    Report Reply
  • MauiQuickieMauiQuickie member
    Today was my appointment. I did ask my doc and she said she pulled to try to keep me from tearing. It was supposed to help my perenium. I can't find anything about perennial massages this violent in the literature. Considering I tore 2nd degree anyway and considering the rate for 3rd and 4th degree tears is only about 3 percent, I dont think she did me any favors. I asked very non confrontationally but her face turned a little white. My baby was not in danger according to my doc. My verdict is that this was abuse. Yes it was unintentional and of course she was trying to help me and not hurt me, but she did not help me and she did hurt me! I feel like I would have been better off on my own, but I wanted to be at a hospital just in case of complications. I am switching to a midwife and asking for the least possible interventions next time. Hind sight is 20/20. Thanks for sharing my story
    Report Reply
  • adelemsadelems member
    Yeah... That doesn't sound like it helped you at all. Interestingly enough... With my first I tore, and they did a perennial Massage . Not bad, but I had to have some stitches. My second baby the labor and delivery was the same amount of time and everything, bigger baby, they didn't massage at all, and I didn't tear even in the slightest! Now, I attribute a lot of the not tearing to being able to be in a different delivery position (first was hospital baby, second was birth center) and also to it not being my first delivery.. But still! Anyway. I personally had a good hospital birth experience but an even BETTER experience at a birth center with a midwife.

    You really should file a complaint against the doctor for that sort of treatment. I'm not a complaint sort of person but that just wasn't fair of her
    Report Reply
  • MauiQuickieMauiQuickie member
    I'm not really sure how to do that. Is there a better business bureau for docs?
    Report Reply
  • madicakesxoxomadicakesxoxo member
    Your story is almost identical to mine!! Even though it's my first, I went from 3 to 10 cm in two hours, no time for the epidural even though I had already asked for one. I pushed for 30 mins and the worst part was definitely the stretching
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"