December 2015 Moms

NOT finding out the Gender????

sniddle1982sniddle1982 member
edited April 2015 in December 2015 Moms
I am a first time mother and extremely excited!!!  My husband and I have decided we don't want to find out the gender of the baby.  I recently lost my mother and one of the conversation we had in the hospital was that if I ever got pregnant she wanted me to not find out the gender and wait till delivery for the nice sunrise, she said there's not many surprises in life anymore and you can pretty much find out anything beforehand so you should experience the nice little miracle that you are given on the day with your husband.  I really think this will be a nice surprise especially so close to Christmas but I'm a wedding planner for a living I know it's going to be difficult to not have EVERYTHING planned before the baby is here.  Any others going to wait to find out the gender during delivery?

Re: NOT finding out the Gender????

  • We are waiting !!! Two of our friends/family did this and we were so thrilled throughout the process. It has made everything surrounding the birth so much more exciting than my other nieces and nephews who we knew the gender and names before hand! But I'm super type a as well and will have trouble not being able to decorate!!!
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  • We are waiting for the surprise too! I want to keep everyone else in suspense. :-p
  • We are waiting!! It will be fun but I'm a planner so we shall see how I hold up!

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  • We're going to wait in part for the surprise and in part so that the poor kid isn't already color coded before it's even born. :)  If you say "We're having a boy" or "We're having a girl," everyone inundates you with blue or pink.  We're hoping that if we wait, the kid will have a decent collection of gender neutral things.

    I'm a total planner, but I'm not really even sure what I'd plan differently by knowing the gender.  *shrugs* 
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  • silvrayn said:

    We're going to wait in part for the surprise and in part so that the poor kid isn't already color coded before it's even born. :)  If you say "We're having a boy" or "We're having a girl," everyone inundates you with blue or pink.  We're hoping that if we wait, the kid will have a decent collection of gender neutral things.

    I'm a total planner, but I'm not really even sure what I'd plan differently by knowing the gender.  *shrugs* 

    My DH and feel the same way! I'll have every baby detail itemized and planned out but the color of the onesies for that first month won't matter. My SIL has one of each and has been waiting for two years to pass that down so we'll have plenty of gender-specific hand-me-downs!
  • Ultrasounds heat up the developing baby's tissues and have not been proven to be safe - especially multiple ultrasounds. Therefore we are waiting to find out the gender!
  • We found out with our first and I have to say there are still plenty of surprises. Even with a 3D ultrasound you still don't know what they'll look like, what color their hair will be or their eyes or their little nose. It was nice having a name already set and to have been using it for a few months before. Honestly it didn't really change the colors we got since we wanted everything gender neutral to be able to reuse it easier later on. Telling family that as well they respected our wishes and we got so many lovely things that were gender non specific.

    That all being said, I've been really thinking about not finding out with this one. I honestly don't care whether we have a boy or girl. Since we got so many newborn things that were neutral I probably won't buy much more beside maybe a new outfit to go home in. The little ones will share a room which is already decorated to work for both; our son loves Care Bears so that's the theme we have in there.

    @Lucky2BeMrsC I'm curious, will you still have the anatomy scan around 20 weeks or would you have a sono if there's a suspected problem and your doctor is advising one, or are you avoiding them entirely?
  • We found out the sex of DS at his anatomy scan and we will be doing it again. It was tough to miss DS's sex. As soon as the tech placed the wand on my stomach, there he was legs wide open letting it all hang out. O_o
    I wonder if this little one will be as open about it. I'll look for DS's pic and post it later.
    Married 05.19.07 | Together since 03.11.00 | Dom Born 02.06.12 
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  • That is not true about the ultrasounds. They are safe. However we are waiting cause it is so fun!!!
  • We waited with our first.  Honestly as shallow as it sounds at our shower we got more things we needed as opposed to a lot of pink/blue clothes.  But all the emotions I went through when I finally got to find out at delivery was amazing.  I wouldn't change that for the world, I absolutely loved being surprised.

    As for planning, we painted our nursery grey and did highlight colors of teal.  I knew when the baby came I would do more navy if it was a boy and purple if it was a girl.  It worked out perfectly and now we won't have to repaint that room with the new baby.

    We'll be finding out this time around just because we want to see the difference of not knowing vs. knowing.  They're honestly are very few good surprises in life and that was the most amazing surprise ever.  If you can wait I highly suggest it because it was amazing!!!!
  • We are waiting until d day to find out the sex as well! My first pregnancy I didn't want to know but husband did so I agreed to find out on his terms and then said 2nd time around we aren't finding out. I'm almost 5 weeks and have made it clear we won't find out :)
  • We've waited till birth with our last two and will wait with this one too. Each time my husband has been the one to tell me. It's a magical moment that's hard to put into words. I'd take it over have a nursery decorated for a boy or girl or having all the boy/girl clothes ready. Each time I've brought two going home outfits.
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  • I have to know! The biggest surprise for me has been what the babies look like, their personalities, things like that.
  • I don't think we are this time. We found out at 15 weeks with our son so we new pretty early! The only thing that worries me is not having little girl clothes if it is a girl! Since I already have all the little boy clothes I may just buy a few little girl gowns and such and then we can really go shopping.


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  • I have to know and I can't wait!!!!
  • Ultrasounds heat up the developing baby's tissues and have not been proven to be safe - especially multiple ultrasounds. Therefore we are waiting to find out the gender!

    Wow!! So not true.

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  • we are going to wait! my DH wants to know the sex, but i told him we will be plenty prepared without knowing. it's funny that your mom said that there are so few surprises left in life - as that is my main reason for not wanting to know. why not make it the BEST surprise? i think we will be doing some of those fun little tests though and sort of make a bet of it ;)
  • I'm a first time mom-to-be and having a tough time deciding what to do!  My hubby wants to wait until delivery to see, but I like to plan.  While we plan on doing a gender neutral nursery (easier to reuse things later down the line), I'd still like to add touches of girly or boyish things in the accents.  Or a name on the wall in block letters.  Those things can only be done after baby comes home if we wait, and being practical, I know I won't do anything then!  I suggested to hubby the other day that maybe we don't find out & do a gender reveal at the baby shower or something.  This way we would know about a month in advance for planning, but still not know for the majority of the pregnancy.  And we would still get gender neutral things/more practical items at the shower instead of all clothes.  But we still haven't decided.
  • We are waiting! We found out at the anatomy scans with three, and waited with three. I definitely think it adds another element of surprise to the delivery. Either way is lots of fun. :)
  • I so want to wait. I have three girls and found out with all three and I really want the surprise!!
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  • I'm finding out as soon as possible. I'm not one for surprises, I hate surprise parties, surprise trips, not knowing where we are going to dinner by 5pm. If I have a plan in place, I don't want it to change. Clearly I do well with changes. haha. Oh little unplanned beautiful baby in my belly. Haha. So... yeah. I'm gonna know. Boyfriend said he wants to know too, which is good, because I'd still find out and start decorating. ha!

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  • I like the idea of doing a gender reveal shower! That way you avoid the gender specific stuff but you still get to know. I went to a shower recently for someone who waited. While it might be more fun for guests to shop for a specific gender, I think she ended up with many more useful items at the shower because we didn't know.
  • Ultrasounds heat up the developing baby's tissues and have not been proven to be safe - especially multiple ultrasounds. Therefore we are waiting to find out the gender!

    What crazy person told you that?!
    Married 05.19.07 | Together since 03.11.00 | Dom Born 02.06.12 
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  • We are in the middle of the "great debate". I don't want to know and he does. Of course my family has their own opinion and think we should have a huge reveal party. I'm totally against that too! So i'm trying to bat my lashes and butter my DH up to see it my way.  
  • We are also waiting! I've heard that there is nothing like finding out what it is on the day of! Good luck in the wait! You aren't alone :)
  • Ultrasounds heat up the developing baby's tissues and have not been proven to be safe - especially multiple ultrasounds. Therefore we are waiting to find out the gender!

    What crazy person told you that?!
    This is actually true..just read it in an article by Marsden Wagner former head of World Health organization. Ultrasounds do not improve outcomes and there is very limited research on their safety. Check out Midwifery Today for more indo
  • Ultrasounds heat up the developing baby's tissues and have not been proven to be safe - especially multiple ultrasounds. Therefore we are waiting to find out the gender!

    I'm with you!
  • Hi ladies. Not trying to ruffle any feathers but it's a true fact that ultrasounds have not been scientifically proven to be safe. Check out Midwifery Today online and there are numerous articles on it. I'm not tying to deter anyone from getting one but I saw there was some debate going on and I just put down two articles before reading this :)
  • We are going to wait. My husband and I have a son and daughter and found out for both, then had multiple miscarriages after daughter. I'm about 5w 2d and have the first u/s on Monday the 27th. Since we already have clothes for both and pray this is a sticky bean, we like having this be the ultimate surprise for us.
  • I'm still debating. As a rule, I want as much information as possible. Especially health information. But gender doesn't have any bearing on health.

    Also, my boyfriend has two daughters already and even though he says he doesn't care I think he really wants another girl. If we were to find out it was a boy during pregnancy, I think that might give him a lot of "abstract" time to be a little disappointed. If it doesn't happen until delivery, he won't have any time to think such thoughts before he has his baby in his arms and loves it anyway.
  • I am still going back and forth (with plenty of time to decide!). This is our first, and I think it would be sweet for our first to be a surprise. I'm also really picky about baby stuff in general, so if other people don't know the gender, they can't pick out weird things that I don't like. That sounds terrible, I know. :/

    Even if we do decide to find out early, we'll be sticking with more gender neutral stuff (black, white, gray, stripes... etc) so that future babies can use the same stuff without a boy swimming in a sea of pink, etc.  ;)
  • Ultrasounds heat up the developing baby's tissues and have not been proven to be safe - especially multiple ultrasounds. Therefore we are waiting to find out the gender!

    What crazy person told you that?!
    This is actually true..just read it in an article by Marsden Wagner former head of World Health organization. Ultrasounds do not improve outcomes and there is very limited research on their safety. Check out Midwifery Today for more indo
    Thanks for that!
    With DS I had three ultrasounds. When we looked for a heartbeat, when they did the anatomy scan and to check if he was head down for delivery.
    Married 05.19.07 | Together since 03.11.00 | Dom Born 02.06.12 
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  • We definately are going to find out. :) This is my first time being pregnant and there is so much unknown! I want to know anything I can so I can plan. I totally understand the suprise thing too. Either way it's such a gift and blessing- all I want it a healthy baby!
  • We've waited till birth with our last two and will wait with this one too. Each time my husband has been the one to tell me. It's a magical moment that's hard to put into words. I'd take it over have a nursery decorated for a boy or girl or having all the boy/girl clothes ready. Each time I've brought two going home outfits.

    I can't wait to experience that magical moment with my husband letting me know what we had or the doctor yelling out "it's a boy or it's a girl!!!!!!"
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