30 weeks, DNA test...what the hell happened to my life?

BabyBean54 · April 2015

Hi all. I will start by saying I am 30 weeks pregnant and the father and I are no longer together. He left me when I chose to keep the baby. That was in October. We have had many issues communicating and have been going to counseling for about a month now. In our last session he decided to share with me that he wants a DNA test because there is .01% of him that is doubtful. He knows I never cheated on him, he knows the presumed date of conception and he knows it's his but he wants to be sure. The second question was - did I do this on purpose? He saw me take my pill every day so he's dumbfounded as to how this happened and his only answer is that I did it on purpose.
Here is where I need help. In the state of California, I believe it to be true that an unwed single mother will have 100% rights to her child with no fathers name on the birth certificate. I told him his name will not be on the BC and our daughter will have my last name. He said that's fine he would rather have zero rights and zero doubts.

So my question is, after she is born and a paternity test is done, will he be able to add his name? What will happen to my rights? Will we have to go to court? Should I lawyer up NOW and establish custody now before she is born?

TIA mamas...this whole situation has been brutal but I am being positive for my baby girl!

hswan26 · April 2015

Sounds like a question for an attorney in that state. Every state has different rules but in NJ if paternity is established he would have every right that you do.

blukats · April 2015

If he wants a court mandated DNA test then yes you will have to go to court. However, that won't change the birth certificate, if he wants his name on it after he has to file the paperwork to do so. If he wants to go for custody or visitation then you would share rights, but if he goes for that he will be responsible for child support as well as splitting all medical costs. My sister and niece went through this and I can tell you 3 years later dads name is still not on the BC and her last name is still my sisters last name and he also has to pay her 300+ in child support as well as pay half the delivery costs and half of anything that my niece does, like daycare, dance, etc. With court mandated rights comes expenses he may not be thinking of. Just depends on what you want to do mama. Best of luck.

Katerina&Baby · April 2015

You should absolutely seek out an attorney in California. Every state will have its own set of laws on the subject and California is notorious for being very different (one of the reasons why its bar exam is one of the hardest in the country). Good luck!

KonaCoffeeBean · April 2015

Ask the testing agency if they report their results to vital statistics. If not done pursuant to a paternity action, they probably will not---I doubt this is one of those things that varies much from state to state. That said, once he has the results showing he is the father, he can go to court and establish his paternity later down the line, if he chooses to.

BabyBean54 · April 2015

Thank you ladies. I met with a lawyer today and feel sooo much better and less concerned. I have much more control than I realized!

HaruhiChan · April 2015

That's good news

glad you feel a bit better about the situation. Good luck

BabyNewbury2012 · April 2015

I dont know you but I think you deserve so much better and so do your daughter. He will be the one missing out. Sorry your having to go through this, pregnancy is tough enough as it is.

Want a personalized experience?

30 weeks, DNA test...what the hell happened to my life?

Re: 30 weeks, DNA test...what the hell happened to my life?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards