2nd Child Blues

candyapple1985 · April 2015

I know my emotions are out of control right now.... but I am having a hard time understanding how you can love two people the same. I have DD who is 2 1/2 , and I am worried that the same love I feel for her will not translate over to the new baby. Everyone says its natural, and it just comes, but my brain doesn't comprehend it and I keep having breakdowns over worrying about it. Than I worry Ill be so focused on the new baby I will miss out on things with my first baby!!!

libfish825 · April 2015

I worried about it right up until I delivered DS and then it was like I couldn't believe I ever worried about it. DD loves DS so much and DH and I adore both of them and it just kinda feels like he has always been right there with her. I'm thinking it will be the same with #3.

You will probably keep thinking about it - stupid hormones - but try to remind yourself that it's just one of those things that's normal.

bvaughn113 · April 2015

I feel the same! I keep reminding my son that he will always be my first true love and no matter what it's true but I know God made room in my heart for more than one and I'm sure I will be overwhelmed by the love I have for the both of them

HARLEYSMOM2010 · April 2015

Your love will multiply not divide. I'm going on baby #4 and I absolutely love them all equally. You will too!!

inthelost · April 2015

I know! I'm worried about the same exact thing! Like how can I possibly love another child as much as I love my DD....I guess we can't worry too much though and just know it will come...

mbhurst1 · April 2015

I can't comprehend how I'll love baby 2 as much as my son (2 1/2). Or how any child will be a cute as him! I'm already feeling territorial about his birthday bc this one is due around his bday. But everyone says you'll love your other children just as much as the first!

Marchmellow2 · April 2015

I'm worried about the same things!

Like PP, Mine will have very close birthdays too. I just feel hella guilty. Like I'm taking all the love/attention from DS. He deserves the world!

lopezalonso · April 2015

I feel the same and am so glad for this post. Everyone seems so excited and no one wants to be the first so thanks. I worry that DD will feel replaced and betrayed. I worry that she will feel like we don't love her anymore or that we love the new baby more. She'll be 20 months when the new baby is born

lopezalonso · April 2015

I feel the same and am so glad for this post. Everyone seems so excited and no one wants to be the first so thanks. I worry that DD will feel replaced and betrayed. I worry that she will feel like we don't love her anymore or that we love the new baby more. She'll be 20 months when the new baby is born

nmason824 · April 2015

Holy moly thank goodness I'm not the only one! I've been crying everyday that my little man is going to think I don't love him anymore. He is such a mama's boy and dad keeps telling him I'm cheating on him....I burst into tears! Now I'm worried I'm over spoiling because I feel guilty not giving him my undivided attention. He just turned 9 months.

candyapple1985 · April 2015

Yes this is it exactly... I'm like my poor baby

candyapple1985 · April 2015

So much crying ... My husband thinks I've lost my senses...

LeighPA · April 2015

And the best part of having more than one child is seeing how much they love each other.

candyapple1985 · April 2015

Oh wow yeah I hadnt thought of that... That will be so cool!

libfish825 · April 2015

LeighPA said:
And the best part of having more than one child is seeing how much they love each other.

Truth, guys. Now I feel guilty that DD went so long without a playmate at home. Always one guilt or another!

MeghaJake · April 2015

I don't remember having the same feelings when I was pregnant with my second one but I definitely struggled after he was born. I wasn't able to spend as much time with my daughter after he was born and it was heartbreaking to me. This is going to sound horrible but I had trouble bonding with him until he was a few months old because I kind of resented him for changing my relationship with my daughter. She is still super attached to my husband and we don't have the same closeness we once had but I am so in love with my son now and grateful that my daughter developed such a close relationship with my husband. Also, it is the best thing in the world to see my son and daughter play together. It was a huge adjustment that I was not prepared for and I struggled. Maybe it's good you are mentally preparing for it now.

GalLaura · April 2015

I've been feeling the same. It's a horrible feeling. He's almost two and a complete momma's boy.

candyapple1985 · April 2015

MeghaJake said:
I don't remember having the same feelings when I was pregnant with my second one but I definitely struggled after he was born. I wasn't able to spend as much time with my daughter after he was born and it was heartbreaking to me. This is going to sound horrible but I had trouble bonding with him until he was a few months old because I kind of resented him for changing my relationship with my daughter. She is still super attached to my husband and we don't have the same closeness we once had but I am so in love with my son now and grateful that my daughter developed such a close relationship with my husband. Also, it is the best thing in the world to see my son and daughter play together. It was a huge adjustment that I was not prepared for and I struggled. Maybe it's good you are mentally preparing for it now.

This is exactly what Im worried about!!!!

LeighPA · April 2015

It's hard to have your relationship with your first child change so much because of a second. But it's totally natural, and I think a lot of parents experience it.

candyapple1985 · April 2015

this is going to be a very emotional pregnancy lol .. oh gosh.....

stinson315 · April 2015

I definitely worried about this during my second pregnancy. I loved my toddler so much; how could it be possible to love another the same way? It sounds trite, but it just happens.
Remember that feeling that you got the first time you saw your first? You'd never seen anything so beautiful and you fell in love instantly. That happens all over again with the second. And the first time your first born holds your newborn, you will positively melt!

candyapple1985 · April 2015

cool Im crying that sounds so beautiful... I need to stay off of this site at work .. My co workers already think Im crazy for getting up and running to the bathroom at full speed...

sbost0118 · April 2015

Everything @stinson315 said! I'm going on number six!

mrobill1 · April 2015

I'm worried, too! My son will be 4, so that's a long time for him to be my only. I hope he embraces it, not resents me for it. I'm going to try to do a mommy - son date with him once a month, and have my husband watch the baby so he still has one on one time with me. And instead of using baby naps to clean & sleep, I plan on using it as bonding time with my first. But, how am I going to get everything done that I have time to do now when I have two kids to put first?

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