(XP: August Birth Month)
I'm new to this board but not new to the Bump. I was very active 2 years ago on TTCAL and TTC+35. I ran the September Sapphires pg loss board for a short while but it quickly became to overwhelming. I thought I could handle it but seeing one BFP after another, even though I was over the moon for them, was crushing my soul. Shortly afterwards, I left and never thought I'd be back. But, now I'm 19 weeks along and looking to connect with others in the same boat!
***LOSS MENTIONED***
We began seeing an RE based on my age (37 at the time) and began "the process", read: tons of bloodwork, tons of testing, 1,000s of dollars and still no baby. I learned the following:
1. My miscarriage at 11 weeks was due to a chromosomal abnormality (Trisomy 10)
2. I'm a carrier for cystic fibrosis (this was a shock; DH isn't a carrier)
3. I had a mass in my uterus (again shocking; polyp-removed, fibroid-monitoring)
4. My right tube is blocked (umm more shock!)
5. I'm DOR (not shocked; well isn't that great!) ::eye roll::
6. Taking my BBT every morning, monitoring my CM, peeing on OPK strips, watching for LH surges and not knowing what day of the week it was but rather what day of my cycle it was - well, that all got to be a bit consuming!
DH was pushing IVF for months but I was just beginning a new job in September 2014 (teacher) and didn't want to be too overwhelmed. I kept putting him off, partly b/c of that but also, I wasn't ready to close the chapter on us concieving naturally. When my November cycle was late, I was elated and tested only to get a negative. I was pissed, oh and my period was a week late! Thanks ute, I hate you too! So when my December cycle was also a week late, I just figured that was my "new normal". But the day after Christmas I just had to test (I'm a sadist like that) and there it was...my BFP! I didn't believe it so I tested 4 more times (of course I had several different tests, doesn't everyone!) And, here I am!
I still can't believe it's real! It's hard to have pure joy b/c this whole experience is tinted with fear and doubt. My loss had jaded me but I'm trying to put those feelings of doubt, anxiety, fear, etc into a box and leave it on the shelf. I'll take the box down if I need to. But that, ladies, is very hard to do!
Me: 42, dx: DOR (AFC: 5), low AMH (0.163), blocked tube, fibroid
DH: 44, dx: ED (uses Cialis), low count/motility (17 million/44%)
~Our History~
2012: April married
, begin TTC
2013: Jan: BFP #1, mc at 11 weeks (Trisomy 10), D&E
; Nov: HSG=blocked right tube, SHG=polyp, fibroid
2014: April: polypectomy; May-Nov: TTC, Dec.= BPF #2, DS born 8/28/15 via C-section
2016: Oct.-Dec.: TTC
2017: Feb.-Aug: benched due to Zika virus threat (Feb.=trip to Philippines)
, Sept.-Dec.: TTC
2018: Jan.-Apr.: TTC
May: IVF #1 w/ ICSI/AH: 6R, 3M, 2F; day 3 transfer of both embies; poor quality (E1=grade 3, E2=grade 4)
May 2018 IVF Spreadsheet:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1E9syRZY17j2PF-UgdBpU70DPPY2EplxXNHw4Trc-G4g/edit?usp=sharing
Re: Intro!