help! third hand smoke and baby

xoxokaitmarie · April 2015

my boyfriends parents are heavy smokers and want me to go to there house to visit them with the baby alll the time, what do i do???

Dvine21 · April 2015

Tell your boyfriend to ask that they don't smoke when baby is visiting.

emilydsimmons · April 2015

Put your foot down! I did! My MIL's new husband smokes and I told her straight up he wasn't going to hold the baby and we were not going to go over there if he was smoking in the house or car. Period. I did also have a talk with my husband - I needed to know that he was on my side. He is very unconfrontational so I knew he wasn't going to say anything but I did tell him he better defend me if an argument ensues!! Make sure your boyfriend has your back before you confront the situation.

kjuryfl · April 2015

Do they smoke indoors or just outdoors? My mom and her fiancé are chain smokers and the only way they were allowed around my daughter when she was a baby was if they smoked outside, wore a smoking shirt that they took off when they came in, and washed their hands afterwards. I loathe cigarette smoke, especially around children so I put my foot down early. They respected my wishes and never made a fuss. They only spoke outdoors though.. If they smoked indoors I would be hesitant to bring the baby over there.

xoxokaitmarie · April 2015

they smoke indoors. & I heard that third hand smoke is on hair and couches and floor, Ect. & can cause the baby to be sick or cause sids

kjuryfl · April 2015

If you're not comfortable with the baby being over there then don't bring the baby there.

boet0055 · April 2015

Third hand smoke is just as bad as first, especially for a sensitive newborn's system. Being in a house with residual smoke in clothes, curtains and furniture isn't good for you or your child. Period. Tell them they can they can visit you. Be the mama bear.

mrsalvidrez · April 2015

I think you're being reasonable by not wanting to bring the baby over there, I wouldn't. I almost lost it when my MIL brought my husband's two nieces over without warning. All I could think was have they been sick? Have their friends been sick? (Keep in mind this was on the first day I had him home). And my situation is not near as bad, I wouldn't be able to tolerate the smoke. I say they can come visit you on your turf and they need to not smell like smoke when they come over.

kier23 · April 2015

You needed two threads for this?

mrsmeyer419 · April 2015

My bf is a smoker when we first met he smoked in his house, and I bartended at a bar that allowed smoking indoors. Once we found out we were pregnant I told him if he was going to smoke in his house then our daughter and I wouldn't be moving in with him nor could he have her overnight. I don't think your being totally unreasonable. It's your baby, if they want to visit they can come see her at y'all's house. I've also told my bf that if he's going to take smoke breaks while I'm in labor he better bring extra shirts to change into. So if they plan on visiting while your in the hospital I'd consider asking them to bring an extra shirt

xoxokaitmarie · April 2015

ok thank you everyone:) and kier23... no need to be rude, I didn't know if the first one posted or not im new to this.

tigerlily25 · April 2015

kier23 said:
You needed two threads for this?

Pretty sure it was accidental.

xoxokaitmarie · April 2015

it was lol

Mamaengen · April 2015

Why can't they go visit at your house instead of you bringing the baby there? (I ask bc you don't have smoke in your textiles like they would at their house from third-hand smoke.) I know it's hard to not step on toes, but I've just come to terms with it bc I absolutely abhor cigarette smoke. I get teased over being so protective (in general) over my children--even from my mom--but if I am responsible for them, I don't care what others think. Let the statistics be their children, not mine.

Tarebear17 · April 2015

I struggle with this too! My MIL and her husband smoke. She thinks she is going to babysit for us, but I absolutely cannot let her if they choose to smoke in the house. I just don't know that I can even trust them since they both smoke around me while I'm pregnant! I'd rather not expose my baby even if it's free babysitting!

yellowdaisies84 · April 2015

I can't help but I really feel for you. I would find this really difficult, too.

sks306 · April 2015

@Tarebear17 I am in the same boat! My husband had a big come to Jesus meeting with them about this

and we set major boundaries. He told them, "my parents did not protect my health growing up, but I will protect my son's." I was super proud that he stood up to them. It is an issue that I will not bend on.

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