Waiting till birth for gender reveal

laidyk · April 2015

My husband and I have decided to wait until our baby is born to find out if it's a boy or a girl. We don't mind waiting but other people in our lives cannot stand the suspense! I am a teacher and I have at least one student everyday asking me if it's a boy or a girl. It's starting to drive me crazy. On top of that, my mom wants to find out from my doctor and be the only one to know! She claims it's so she can know whether or not to buy dresses or dragons.

I am left repeating my vow to wait until the baby is born. We don't want gender to be a major influence the development of our child. I am trying to avoid the princess syndrome if it's a girl, and I don't want an overly macho boy. Our society hyper associates gender with clothing and commercial products in an effort to sell more stuff. Despite all that, to be honest it doesn't matter why we don't want to know the gender at 15 weeks, it's our personal decision and no one else's.

Now, I am wondering, is there anyone else out there taking this same path? In the age of 'gender reveal parties' I have yet to meet another mom-to-be who shares in my conviction. It would be nice to know that we are not alone in our decision to wait and do things the 'old fashioned' way.

Amazing450 · April 2015

I have always been team green. When people asked in the past "what're you having?!" Just respond "a baby"

on_the_move · April 2015

We are team green this time. With our previous two we found out and this time we are looking forward to the surprise. The ones that are most anxious to find out are my older children. My son wants a brother and my daughter keeps changing her mind. We just remind them that God will send us whoever needs to be in our family.

leah665 · April 2015

I'm not finding out either! Partly because I want that to be an added wonderful surprise to be shared at birth and partly because I know how much it pisses everyone off! I'm stubborn and it's my decision.

Don't let anyone sway you! This is your decision! And your mom can buy dresses or dragons after the baby is born. Pretty soon people will figure out you're not budging and stop making a big deal about it.

I like the response of "a baby" to people asking the gender question.

ClaireBear90 · April 2015

You are so not alone. You might be in the minority, but you're not alone.

Don't give up on what you want to do. And while it may be frustrating when your students keep pestering you, it's a GOOD thing for them to see that finding out the gender is not a necessity like some people act like it is! It's up to you, but maybe make a guessing game/poll out of it for them? I don't know how old your students are, but if they're younger they might think it was fun to guess and see if they're right when the baby is born. Our families have such a blast guessing birth date/weight/gender.

I don't know why our society is so consumed with the idea of finding out the gender before the birth and making a huge show of it through reveals and parties. It's really quite bizarre, when you stop to think about it.

ClaireBear90 · April 2015

Oh and unfortunately, even if you wait until the birth, people are still going to hit your child with princess/macho stuff. It's very hard to avoid that and you'll have to decide how much of an issue it is to you and whether it's worth fighting with family members over. My MIL in particular, but even my mom to some degree, give DD lots of princess-y stuff. I don't fight it. My husband and I weren't too happy over a recent Barbie gift though and we'll have to have a conversation about that because neither of us is okay with her playing with hyper-sexualized dolls.

aah1013 · April 2015

I wanted a tomboy and ended up with an overly girlie girl! Pink is her favorite color, she loves Disney princesses, and dresses. Your child will be who your child is born to be regardless of what people buy for him/her.

yoopermom824 · April 2015

Team Green for us, too! <:-P I can't wait for the "big reveal" after birth!

MrsN092714 · April 2015

We are waiting to find out. My husband would love to know at our 20 week scan but I have always wanted the surprise. There are moments where I understand the 'need' to know early but when it comes down to it I want the surprise! I feel like it's a damn good motivator to get throug child birth (not that meeting your child isn't enough, it just adds that one more little thing!) and I think all of the guessing along the way is a lot of fun! Thankfully both sides of our family really support us waiting, along with most of our friends. I'm sure as we tell everyone that we are expecting we will get more of the "how can you NOT find out" but I'm okay with that.

MrsMartin27 · April 2015

We are waiting. Since this is our second child, having Hubby be the only knew who knows the sex for a few moments will make it extra special for us. He will get to be the one to announce to all our family and friends waiting.

VioletandRose · April 2015

We're waiting. I feel like the sex of your child is one of the few things in life you can truly be surprised about. Ever since I was a little girl I've known that I did not want to find out until birth, and then have my husband/boyfriend announce it to our families in the waiting room. I am also hoping that it is a good motivator to get through labor... I think deep down my BF wants to know, but he's said that he is okay with whatever my decision is. So, surprise it is

sidneymich · April 2015

I would tell your students you're gonna wait to find out just like on Christmas waiting to see what your present is. You know it's gonna be good, but you don't know what. My and my hubby are waiting to find out and it sucks you're not having the support. Your not the minority lots of people wait to find out. I think it'll be a relief after hours of labor. Aside from obviously you're super excited that you had a baby you get to be like all that work for my little boy/girl. We also arn't picking a name until the baby comes. we'll have a list of a few options ready but I wanna feel like they are a 'so-and-so' lol All the best hun! Stick to your guns it'll be worth it in the end.

kristaellerbrock · April 2015

I am team green all the way ..... Dear hubby is not. If I cave (that's a big if) we will be the ONLY ones to know what the gender is until birth. This will be easy because we are not revealing the name of our child either. I do not want to see a room full of pinks or blues for the next 20 weeks! I have also loved gender neutral colors and that what our registry will show.

str13 · April 2015

I really want to be team green, but haven't fully committed to the idea yet! DD1 was the first grandbaby, so she got gobs and gobs of dresses and bows and ruffles. But she's a tomboy. She's only 21 months, but I let her pick what she wants to wear! Somedays she actually leaves the house in a tutu or princess dress, others she wants jeans and cowboy boots! So try not to stress about what people pick out for your kiddo, they'll shine through!

BabyBowers2013 · April 2015

leah665 said:
I'm not finding out either! Partly because I want that to be an added wonderful surprise to be shared at birth and partly because I know how much it pisses everyone off! I'm stubborn and it's my decision.

Don't let anyone sway you! This is your decision! And your mom can buy dresses or dragons after the baby is born. Pretty soon people will figure out you're not budging and stop making a big deal about it.

I like the response of "a baby" to people asking the gender question.

leah665 said:
We are Team Green again! I LOVED not knowing until we met our little guy & my husband said "it's a boy" I had a gut feeling the entire pregnancy we were having a boy. I also kind of loved annoying everyone else, HA!! I love all the gender reveal ideas out there but still not enough for us to want to find out before our babe arrives. We had a very gender neutral nursery that could go either way. This time around baby & big brother will share a room until we move(hopefully sooner then later) so the room will stay as is.

leah665 said:
It's your pregnancy! With our first I ended up telling a few people just that & if/when they have kids they can find out. People need to respect your wishes! :-)

naka92 · April 2015

I'm still on the fence. I'd like the surprise, but then again I'm also a very curious person. I still have a while to think about it, and DH wants to go along with whatever I decide because "well either way, we'll find out soon!" so its all up to me. I definitely wouldnt be having any gender reveal party or anything, not would I go overboard with gender-specific items, but I'm just soooo curious that I dont know if I could wait that long!

BabyBowers2013 · April 2015

We are Team Green again! I LOVED not knowing until we met our little guy & my husband said "it's a boy" I had a gut feeling the entire pregnancy we were having a boy. I also kind of loved annoying everyone else, HA!! I love all the gender reveal ideas out there but still not enough for us to want to find out before our babe arrives. We had a very gender neutral nursery that could go either way. This time around baby & big brother will share a room until we move(hopefully sooner then later) so the room will stay as is for now!

It's your pregnancy! With our first I ended up telling a few people just that & if/when they have kids they can find out. People need to respect your wishes!

BabyBowers2013 · April 2015

I meant to post this too......... I think I saw on here when I was pregnant the first time.... a gal realized the husbands don't really get to experience anything like we do with being pregnant, etc so they decided to wait as well. She wanted her husband to be the one to announce "it's a boy" or "it's a girl" because that was something he would have that she didn't experience, etc... I LOVED that idea & so did my hubbers.

DDrew2012 · April 2015

We were team green with our first and the suprise was not only amazing for us but for our families. A bunch of people guessed boy and ended up with a beautiful, sweet girl! This second time will be just as exciting. To me it's really one of the few good suprises we actually have anymore. Lol.

sar_bear · April 2015

We are definitely waiting to find out...o have never wanted it any other way! I agree with previous posts about this being one of the only genuine surprises in life. It's kinda fun imagining both possibilities... And so far everyone is predicting boy. It will be interesting to see if they're right. I don't have a feeling either way. Glad to see that so many other couples have decided to wait as well

FatPony · April 2015

We are also Team Green! I am secretly hoping for one gender over the other, but as long as they place a healthy baby in my arms, I'll be one happy momma!!

Krysta6 · April 2015

We are waiting as well. But we keep running into people who waited! It's very interesting because everyone who we aren't close to who asks what it will be end up telling us they waited too and it was the best thing ever! I will say some days I really want to find out! But it's for silly decorating the nursery reasons not legit reasons. I hope we can commit to waiting during that 20 week ultrasound!

leannebernardez · April 2015

I am so glad to know so many others are waiting to find out! I'm excited for the surprise and glad to hear that many others don't want the gender to be the major factor in pregnancy.

cc47033 · April 2015

We're "Team Green" as well. It was really hard to be strong last week when they called with the Panorama test results since they know the gender!! Luckily we've had a lot of people supportice for the whole surprise thing which had been nice. Either way, it's your family, your decision.

mommygrams0730 · April 2015

We've been team green with the last 2, and there is something so amazing having your husband say, "it's a...." And being able to tell everyone.

This is most likely our last and since I already have 2 boys and a girl I want to find out so I can get rid of everything of the opposite sex that I don't need this summer!

My almost 3 year old managed to find her way to princesses and pink/purple on her own...and at the same time she wants so bad to be like her older brother that she'll wear his old clothes and tomboy it up too. She's still got quite a bit of time to find herself, I'm really not worried about her being a girlie girl or a tomboy, she's just who she is and likes what she likes!

Chippercjm · April 2015

We are waiting too. I wouldn't let people upset you. It's only natural that they ask

it's their way of trying to connect. Enjoy it!

taralohse · April 2015

We are waiting too!!! My husband has always wanted the gender of our first child to be a surprise and he convinced me it was a great idea before we found out we were expecting!! I actually enjoy how much it bothers other people when we say we aren't finding out hehe!

amberrmariee20 · April 2015

My first I kept the gender unknown until birth ! I'm definitely finding out this time !

Peachey23 · April 2015

We didn't find out with our previous two babies til birth and we won't be finding out with this one til birth either! I'm a firm believer in saving that joy til meeting my little bubba, and it's such a treat after all the hard work of labour. Stick to your guns and do it your way, it really is noone elses business! One of my best friends is pregnant too and she has found out she's having a boy so it has brought the question even more to the fore about will we find out but we're lucky most people just think its lovely to wait, we get the occasional ribbing but nothing too terrible xx

tmaritza · April 2015

My husband and i want to keep it a surprise but then we wanted everything ready when im 7 months so we decided to when i turn 7 months we will have somebody to be with us during ultrasound n me n my husband go outside n they will tell that person if its a boy or a girl n they will decorate the baby shower n with the invitation they will send it with a boy or a girl gender n dey will have the guest leave the presents in a room n me n my husband will be the last ppl to come to the shower n start cutting the cake n see the gender hopefully nobody ruins it

mel379 · April 2015

Another team green member here.

nrocke129 · April 2015

I waited with my first an honestly I would be fine waiting again. But my husband wants to know so he is finding out at the anatomy scan and will reveal to me and our families at a party in August.

crbpjb · April 2015

We are not finding out either. I would be so annoyed with either mom wanting to know if we didn't, and I would say "No way!" My MIL has told us we cannot find out, but after my husband scolded her she now says "I don't want you to find out." And I say it's our decision. I think we will not be finding out anyway. My husband wants the surprise and I simply don't care. And as others have mentioned, it's fun to drive everyone else crazy as they wonder. I think you're right about keeping things more gender neutral as well.

I am also not looking forward to the comments. My students have already been asking when we find out and when I told them that we didn't plan to they were aghast. I am just not looking forward to all the guesses!

crbpjb · May 2015

People keep asking, "When do you find out?" It seems to be assumed that we would. I like to respond with, "Late October." You can see the wheels spinning for a moment, and they usually get a chuckle out of it and stop asking questions. That may not work anymore later though when people start asking what we are having. I like the baby answer.

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