baptism even if your not an "active catholic"?

ArcticFox116 · April 2015

So DH and i are both non-practicing catholics and with our LO on the way its raised the question to baptize or not to baptize. I know it would mean a lot to my moms side and to my MILs side so we are considering it but does anyone know how to go about it if you don't belong to a church? We would literally be doing to make our families happy if we do it at all. I never thought it would be an issue until now.

morethancottoncandy2 · April 2015

Maybe try either your parents or in-laws church.

ArcticFox116 · April 2015

morethancottoncandy2 said:
Maybe try either your parents or in-laws church.

Thats the main issue my mom passed away a few years ago (my dad is agnostic and doesn't belive in formal religion) and our church is in philly (currently living in texas) although my MILs side is only a 4 hour drive away we could do it at their church unless they want us to do all the classes then it wont work...ugh i wish catholics just did mass baptisms every few weeks that would be much easier

Pontot31 · April 2015

My friend is an ordained minister. She mostly does weddings. But a lot of her clients had issues with wanting to do something for their children but not being involved in churches. She does at home baptisms now too. She let's them decided how religious it gets. And she gives them a certificate that can then be given to a future church to show they have committed to faith but didn't have a home church at the time.
Her ceremonies seem to be popular.

Penguin81 · April 2015

Your baby, your choice frankly - it shouldn't matter what "others" want for your baby.

Also you might consider that some Catholic churches just don't let people waltz in and say "I need a baby baptized" - I'm going to assume that you don't belong as your not practicing. So you and your partner need to decide if this is something you want and are willing to go through the hoops for.

ArcticFox116 · April 2015

Penguin81 said:
Your baby, your choice frankly - it shouldn't matter what "others" want for your baby.

Also you might consider that some Catholic churches just don't let people waltz in and say "I need a baby baptized" - I'm going to assume that you don't belong as your not practicing. So you and your partner need to decide if this is something you want and are willing to go through the hoops for.

Yeah i know all I've been able to find out is we might be able to go to his grandmother's church and say we are doing this so she wont hate us and they may say ya ok sounds good but idk i still struggle with what exactly my faith is. Honestly my irish catholic guilt in which i was raised says i have to do this "just incase" which is horrible i know, DH couldn't care less honestly and i know he wont want to put in any effort besides showing up at the church and dressing nicely . Its complicated i guess

srotureau · April 2015

DH and I are also non-practicing catholics. However, my husband is considered an active member of our church since my MIL is very active. Our church requires that at least one parent is an active member in order to have the child baptised, so we are set. However I just want to warn you that depending on the rules of the individual church, you may run into issues in arranging a Catholic baptism. Ours is very traditional, but not all are.

srotureau · April 2015

I don't know if there is a military base near you but you may be able to find a Catholic chaplain who could give you some advice.

elittler · April 2015

Don't just have a baptism to have a baptism. If you don't plan to raise the baby catholic, don't bother with the theatrics. Being baptized means so much more than just trying to please family members.

ArcticFox116 · April 2015

Yeah idk i was raised in the church went to catholic school until 8th grade and DH was a "sunday school and weekday service is a punishment" catholic idk i feel really torn i guess we'll just have drop it because DH doesn't have any plans to be part of a church again and idk if i want to or not maybe it is best to just deal with the annoying family members and hope they forget about it sooner rather then later

Stellerbel · April 2015

srotureau said:
DH and I are also non-practicing catholics. However, my husband is considered an active member of our church since my MIL is very active. Our church requires that at least one parent is an active member in order to have the child baptised, so we are set. However I just want to warn you that depending on the rules of the individual church, you may run into issues in arranging a Catholic baptism. Ours is very traditional, but not all are.

Not sure how traditional your MIL's Church is but here with ours we had to be married in a Catholic ceremony in order to have our kids baptized. Also, does being "active" simply mean being registered? Because you can register at your local Parish and that at times is considered active.

srotureau · April 2015

Stellerbel said:

srotureau said:
DH and I are also non-practicing catholics. However, my husband is considered an active member of our church since my MIL is very active. Our church requires that at least one parent is an active member in order to have the child baptised, so we are set. However I just want to warn you that depending on the rules of the individual church, you may run into issues in arranging a Catholic baptism. Ours is very traditional, but not all are.
Not sure how traditional your MIL's Church is but here with ours we had to be married in a Catholic ceremony in order to have our kids baptized. Also, does being "active" simply mean being registered? Because you can register at your local Parish and that at times is considered active.

They do not require a Catholic marriage ceremony. To be active, our church requires a very lengthy process that includes a sponsor.

YummeeCookee · April 2015

It really does depend on the parish/church. I had DD baptized at 7 mo old (so old!!) bc I knew we were moving back to my home state at that time and wanted to wait until family members could attend. I was worried they would get uppity about me not having been a member of that church since Id moved away over a decade ago. But they were lovely and welcoming. Hopefully most priests would be- they recognize you want to bring your baby up in the Church even if you've been slacking a bit yourself.

They only required 1 - one hour "class" and that at least one godparent was Catholic (which they did not verify).

Liberty1025 · April 2015

Join a parish and set up automatic donations. That's all they look for. Speaking from experience.

blinky2112 · April 2015

ArcticFox116 said:
So DH and i are both non-practicing catholics and with our LO on the way its raised the question to baptize or not to baptize. I know it would mean a lot to my moms side and to my MILs side so we are considering it but does anyone know how to go about it if you don't belong to a church? We would literally be doing to make our families happy if we do it at all. I never thought it would be an issue until now.

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I didn't read any responses to this.

Get a sponsor that is a member of the church you want your child baptized in if you aren't a member of that church.

roxyboard8889 · April 2015

I was also thinking about this. I was raised Catholic. My parents had a "Infant Dedication" for me as an infant and then when I turned 6 I made the choice to become Baptized within our Catholic Church. My husband and I have different religions, so I was thinking this would be our best route and our child can make the choice to be Baptized, as it is a big religious decision and one that I believe the individual to make. Just thought I'd give my 2 cents as we also haven't been attending Church since I've moved here (haven't found one I like yet). Still practicing my faith, just not within a specific Church

PS - Little speil I found about Dedications!

Dedications - A Dedication, also known as an Infant Dedication or Baby Dedication, is a Christian ceremony which simply dedicates an infant to God, welcomes the baby into the church, and has the parents dedicate themselves to raising the child as a Christian. The ceremony specifically does not include baptizing the baby with water. A baby Dedication is performed in Baptist, non-denominational, and Assmebly of God churches, instead of an infant baptism. These churches do believe in peforming water baptisms, but subscribe to the doctorine that baptism should only be undertaken by someone who is a believer and follower of Christ and is able to make the choice to be baptized; which an infant is not yet able to do. Most churches that perform these "Believer's Baptisms" normally do so with total submersion in water - often in "living waters" such as a river or lake - with many church members in attendance at these exciting celebrations of faith.

blinky2112 · April 2015

elittler said:
Don't just have a baptism to have a baptism. If you don't plan to raise the baby catholic, don't bother with the theatrics. Being baptized means so much more than just trying to please family members.

******
That's a good point. Baptism is a sacred sacrament to the Catholics(I only know catholic teachings so I can't speak for other faiths) and shouldn't be taken lightly.

A baptism can be a great way to show your child where their spiritual path may be for them. Perhaps they may wish to learn more about their faith based on the fact that they already have been baptised.

Baptising just to baptise might not be a bad idea spiritually. At least the child can get to heaven, according to the Catholic faith.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with all this religious talk. I realize talking about politics or religion is a great way to start a disagreement/fight. That's not what I was trying to do here.

JLB24 · April 2015

We registered at our local church and made a donation. No questions were asked!

christina4436 · April 2015

I have the same inner struggle. Not so much the family pressure (mainly bc my grandma is no longer alive), but more so I don't want to make the wrong decision that will impact my child negatively. Say you don't baptize, they never really get the opportunity to see/choose the faith. But if you do and don't actively go, is that choosing for them for the wrong reasons? We got married in a Catholic Church back home. But not active where we currently live far away. Not sure if it's worth joining a parish, but I guess we should decide that soon. My husband has no desire, and we have hardly any catholic friends and family here that we would appoint as godparents. The struggle...