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March 2015 Moms
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Moms with toddlers...

AmbethscoAmbethsco member
in March 2015 Moms
Just wondering how all of your little ones are adjusting to having a new baby in the house. My two year old is having a really difficult time and I'm starting to feel like I'm losing my mind. She's going through some kind of sleep regression and is waking up 3 or 4 timesa night with night terrors. During the baby's "witching hours" when he's inconsolabley crying, my 2 year old either joins him in crying or starts acting out to get attention. It's been so bad at night that my husband is currently sleeping on the floor and my toddler is in bed with me because she was waking up crying for me so often. I had NO idea just how hard this would be on her as well as my husband and I. I developed pancreatitis one week postpartum (had to go to ER... That was fun) and had bleeding issues so I feel like I've been hit by a truck and will never be myself again. Luckily my saint of a mother has been helping me during the day and takes my toddler occasionally at night so I'm only dealing with one child waking at night.

I guess I just needed to vent a bit and commiserate with other mamas who are losing their minds as well. Misery loves company haha.
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Re: Moms with toddlers...

  • KD32412KD32412 member
    I feel you! I have a 26 month old who went CRAZY when we bought home her sister. The hard thing is she has a speech delay, so she can't fully understand or communicate with us. She was doing the same as yours, waking up SCREAMING her head off and crying whenever baby cried. Turns out she was teething! Her secondary molars came out the same day we bought home baby! It was about 2 weeks of torture for us all. It does get better! Take it day by day. Nowadays, she will sit next to the baby and give her kisses. It's a sloooooow process, but you will get there! I know how you feel. Don't you kinda hate everyone else right now?!? Hahahah...
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  • sugargrenadesugargrenade member
    My 3 year old has had a harder time adjusting than I expected her to have. the baby is 5 weeks old now and I feel like she's starting to settle down. The first couple of weeks were awful though and I kept feeling like we'd broken her :(

    I think it really just takes time, as hard as it is to deal with and be patient, that's all we can do.

    I did notice things got better for us once I was a little more back on my feet. Any time the baby is sleeping I try to spend at least a few minutes totally focused on my 3 year old - kneel down beside her, talk to her, give her big hugs and kisses, make her laugh. There was a lack of laughter that really bothered me that first little while so i made it my goal to make her laugh hard at least once a day and it's helped both her and me.
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  • EricandKarenEricandKaren member
    OP I feel so bad for you! Pancreatitis on top of everything else?! I hope you feel better soon!
    My just turned three year old is handling things surprisingly ok. He is however going through a phase where he won't talk at times, he prefers to meow, or bark, or be whatever animal he feels like at the time! And his tantrums are definitely bigger and better... Naps are shorter. The gifts people bring for him when they come meet the baby seem to help him feel important still. It does totally break my heart when he throws himself on the floor and cries "but who is going to play with me!!!!!!" when we are busy tending to baby and making dinner for example... As he was used to having our undivided attention. But I think like PP said, trying to carve out dedicated time spent with them seems to help avoid the tantrums. Even 5-10 mins throughout the day can help?

    I worry it'll get harder when baby isn't sleeping as much (mines still just 4 weeks old)

    We will all adjust, and OP, I feel for you when you said you felt like "we broke her", but part of all of this can be their age too. Toddlers are emotional, irrational, adorable little beings
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  • dreyes4dreyes4 member
    I no exactally how all of u feel...my 1 and 2 year olds really dont pay all that much attention tp thier little sister. There is times that they want to love on her or help me feed or change her. But acting out wise, They really havent. But on the other hand my 6 year old is the whos going through it all...hes crys about everything and has been back tlking me with everything i tell him..i hope it passes soon.
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  • Mic512Mic512 member
    My almost 4 year old is just starting to adjust - tantrums have become his go to response for everything. Milk is empty throw a tantrum, can't find a toy, ect. It seems to be getting better slowly. I agree with PP the more undivided attention I can give him helps a lot. I try for a 10-20 block in the morning & again in the afternoon.
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  • nicolerae90nicolerae90 member
    My two year old is fine, my 5 year old...not so much. Its so exhausting!
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  • adelemsadelems member
    My four year old is so happy about her baby brother is almost annoying haha. She's constantly on top of us while he is nursing and she's hyper protective of him. I guess it's a good problem to have. But also has its draw backs. She just won't leave him or me alone and it stresses me out. Before he was born though we started preparing by teaching her personal space bubbles and "inside voice" (she has one volume setting, LOUD, haha) . That seemed to help some but something we realized really quickly is we constantly were saying "don't do this, no, stop, don't touch....." And so on. So much negative. and I very much don't want her to have a bad association with her brother. So!! We set ground rules but then try extra extra hard to find small things she can do for her brother , so for every time I don't want her to do something I find something she can do.

    Anyway, I know that's a different problem then not liking the baby but maybe the idea could be the same? Making baby fun! Positive conditioning is a powerful tool. Even making it as basic as.. 'Every time sibling talks nice to baby or sits next to it or similar acts of kindness, sibling gets a special treat like a small piece of candy or grahm cracker or little toy along with excessive amounts of praise from mom or dad.' .. It's not bribery if you use it properly. Don't tell the sibling about the reward, wait for the behavior (even a small act) and then reward. Don't ever tell the sibling "if you do this you'll get a reward!" , that's bribery. Positive conditioning is extremely useful and proven effective. It's worth a shot!
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