DH wants to go to 1st appoint...thoughts?

nmonty15 · April 2015

So my first appointment is this coming Friday..it'll be about 7W4D...DH expressed that he is interested in going if I want him too...and I feel bad saying no, but does anything really happen besides blood, urine, pap, screening, etc.? Do they even do an us at the first appointment? I just figure this would be the one to have him sit out of? Experience/ thoughts?

nmason824 · April 2015

My dh went to everything at the beginning and end. In the middle its boring 10 minute appointments except the 20 week ultrasound. He had more questions at the appointments then I did!! I liked the support especially of I was worried about something.

RRC216 · April 2015

I had my husband come for everything. Be lucky he wants to be involved. Most men don't care. Think of it this way... even tho baby is growing inside you, it's still apart of him too and he want's to be there. I personally wouldn't say no. When I got pregnant in October the only and last appointment i had in December, which i made at last minute, my husband asked if I wanted him to go. I said no, don't worry about it, I'm just being paranoid. Well I miscarried at 11 weeks and I really could have used him being there instead of being alone. Your in this together... It's both your baby. Congrats!

amorrow5812 · April 2015

I would say if he's wanting to go and interested let him go. Depending how far along you are at the first appt they may do an ultrasound. My first appt last time was a nine weeks and I had an ultrasound done. We also heard the heart beat. It's great to have support. Other than that it was the gender reveal ultrasound and once I was garter along. I agree with

beth6287 · April 2015

My husband is only required to go to the first appointment and the anatomy scan, I don't care if he comes to the other appointments because they are boring. At my office they do an ultrasound at the first visit. Also if he has any questions or concerns he can ask the doctor himself. The appointments after that are boring.

Cristnata · April 2015

I think its a good idea for him to go. At my first appt we heard the baby's heart beat. It was so nice to share that moment with him.

GypsyHippie · April 2015

How does it work when your DH goes to the appt? Do they immed go back with you when your name is called?

bvaughn113 · April 2015

Mine comes and sits through everything lol even the pap where he laughed at me. He was just as hurt as I was about our first MC. He's very involved and excited. I love that he comes along and is supportive

Mags128 · April 2015

DH came to all my appointments that he could. For the pap he left the room. But for he rest he sat and was able to hear the heartbeat. He was also able to ask questions that I might not have thought of.

LauraSmarterSpam · April 2015

DH came to all of my appointments when I was pregnant with DS, and he wants to be there for all of my appointments this time around as well. The baby you are carrying is his as well so let him come along if he wants. Even if it is bloodwork or boring stuff at least you have someone there to support you. I mean, DH sat with me while I had to drink that sludge for the gestational diabetes test. O_o

He let me complain the whole time.

Lots of guys out there don't even care to go, and I told DH I didn't know what I would do if I found out our LO didn't make it and I was so glad he was with me. Thankfully DS is doing well now, but every appointment I was a nervous wreck and I'm sure I'll be the same this time.

nmonty15 · April 2015

Thank you all..it's our first baby...after reading all your posts I think I'm going to bring him along; we're both off Friday anyways as we're heading out to a wedding after the appointment. I know I'll feel awkward with him there during the pap and more private things (that's just how I am)...but I don't want him to miss out on anything, especially being that he wants to be there and is just as excited (maybe more so..between all my nerves and worries) as I am. Just wasn't sure what happened, and honestly if he'd even be allowed as he's obviously never been to any other appointments with me. I love having these forums to talk things out and get info! Thank you all for your input.

lanaloulittle · April 2015

My first appt was just peeing in a cup and blood work. Then 2 weeks later I had another appt where I did the pap and ultrasound. Husband sat through both of those appts no problem. The first one he played on his cell phone the entire time though, which is fine because it was just information. And honestly, it wasn't my husband's first pap he sat through, but I figure he better get used to the "gross" stuff if we are having a baby... And I'm pretty sure he has already seen my private parts. The first ultrasound will probably be transvaginal, so if he can sit through a pap he can do that too. And you can always call your Dr and ask if you will get an ultrasound done.

BCIndychick · April 2015

Have your husband go with you to all your first trimester appointments. You never know what could happen. I speak from experience on that. GL

agerstner · April 2015

Hubby came with for the first appt because it's the first time we get to hear baby's heart beat. My Dr also goes over some testing questions and family history so it was good to have him there for his side of things. DH came to my 6wk and 20wk u/s and that was about it

If your hubby wants to go, absolutely include him. However, if chairs are limited in the office, make sure he moves for a pregnant lady haha. That was my biggest pet peeve at my Drs office was when a 30 week lady walked in and none of the dads even budged an inch. Rude! Lol

nmonty15 · April 2015

Well..my hubby is very polite like that already..his momma taught him well He is an amazing person, really. I consider myself to be very lucky.

revlaurawittman · April 2015

With our first baby dh came to every appointment. With our second he didn't because he would stay with ds while I went. I really missed having him there because he always thought of questions and helped me remember things the doctor said.

mtownhespes · April 2015

My dr said he HAS to come (8 week appt). Ultrasound but also because the dr is apparently going to give us tons of info and prefers two brains.

miluc3742 · April 2015

Yes,I would let him go , especially if he wants to.

Chichigo · April 2015

My husband went to all but two of my appointments last time, but won't be going to many this time. His work schedule is more difficult.

He will try to make ultrasounds. My doctor doesn't do them in office. I need to make separate appointments at the hospital for those.

My first appointment was just questions and blood work. He sat in the waiting room. Most other appointments they sent him to the exam room to wait while I was weighed and peed in a cup.

lovinlifeinutah · April 2015

My take is the more he wants to be a part of it, the better. My DH didn't attend my initial appointment with my family doctor. He does plan to attend the first OB appointment.

Total newbie speaking...but I think as women, we can set expectations now of what we expect throughout the pregnancy, birth, and raising of the kids. I want him to be an active and informed participant so I feel like encouraging him in the early stages is important for us. But that's just my .02

gerblah · April 2015

Just have him stand next to your head. He won't see anything during the pap, he can hold your hand, and it's great practice for later

BostonBaby1 · April 2015

@nmonty15 I think you made a great decision to let him come! I wish DH could come with me but unfortunately his work is difficult to get away from. As PP said, if he stands by your head during the PAP he won't see anything. And what's the worst that can happen? I mean, hopefully in 35 or less weeks he's going to see you give birth.

PolishShoesNTat2s · April 2015

My DH went with me to my regular doctors appointment and we found out we were having a baby which was exciting I know he will be there for every last one even if it is boring lol ! But I think you should let him experience especially if it's his first time or even second it's a special moment in time

alysiawiebe · April 2015

I'm 7weeks tomorrow and going to my first dr apt. DH is coming with me. His work is very good about working with family type stuff. He didn't express interest - but I asked if he would come and he said yes! (Woo!) I agree with the other posts - if your hubs is asking to come - I think that is very sweet! Thanks for posting this thread. I feel like I learned a lot from the other mommies

Goldsgirl9 · April 2015

My DH went to every single appt with our first. He never missed one. With this pregnancy he will go to key appts only or if he has any questions or if we have concerns he'll go as well.

GalLaura · April 2015

I can understand about the pap but wait until you have the baby! Chances are he will see everything and you won't even care! It's a gradual process for sure!

KCLBelle · April 2015

My husband is coming with me, too. We are lucky they want to be a part of it!

libfish825 · April 2015

I agree with what pretty much every PP said. I think that OB appts give partners an opportunity to be more involved and connected to a pregnancy. You know, listening to the heartbeat is about as real as it gets and they don't get the chance to be as connected to baby before birth as mom does. DH has always wanted to go to appointments with me and I'm always glad... even if on that day I'm mostly just grateful for a distraction as I wait!

neferhathor · April 2015

My husband went to all my appointments with me except maybe a few at the end when I went every week. He was really interested in everything and had questions that I didn't even think to ask. It was really nice to have a support person there! I did make him wait outside the room during the pap.

NJPita22 · April 2015

With my first my husband came to every single appointment with me. He wanted to know everything and he developed a really good relationship with my doc (which is slightly weird lol) but it's his way of being involved. With my second he tried to come to everything but if he missed that was ok too he came to the first appointment every ultrasound and he loves the 35 week appointment where they feel for the head to make sure it's down he gets all excited...it's sweet and helps them connect I feel like. Also, the pap/transvaginal ultrasound is the least of your worries if you're about to have a baby with him in the room. Just sayin... Lol

MegStark · April 2015

Mine would come to whatever I want him to, but I prefer just the ultrasounds. I work across the street from my doctor's office so it's much more convenient to only schedule appointments around my work schedule.

Want a personalized experience?

DH wants to go to 1st appoint...thoughts?

Re: DH wants to go to 1st appoint...thoughts?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards