May 2015 Moms

Circumcision Decision

In a nutshell: I had my son a few months ago and I was all set to get him circumcised, when my husband said he wasn’t so sure right before we were gonna have the baby. Wait what?! OMG that stressed me out like crazy at the last minute! So, May Mamas, the last minute is not too late ;) Anyway, I did some research:

The foreskin is much more than a flap of skin. It has lots of nerves in it designed for sexual pleasure. It's also designed to protect the glans (tip of the penis) and keep it moist, much like your eyelid protects your eye. Without this protective covering, the penis dries out and keratinizes (that means it gets a callous on it). If that sounds bad it’s because it is. There are some serious claims that it may be a factor in ED, but who’s gonna pay for that study? Not Pfizer, that’s for sure! (They make Viagra) Now some organizations claim it’s still a good idea to circumcise, but the health claims are super flimsy. Most global health organizations recommend against genital cutting.

It used to be that most people were circumcised in the US and so no one questioned it. Men didn’t know what they were missing. Now rates are going down. Boys these days are growing up with tons information available to them on the internet. Circumcised boys are learning that the most sensitive part of the penis has been taken from them and many of them are very upset. Many are trying to re-grow their foreskins. (Yeah, I didn’t know that either!) Many are confronting their parents about how they feel. This isn't like when our husbands grew up and nobody knew any better. 

Also, in babies, the foreskin is fused to the tip of the penis like your fingernail to your nail. That means doctors need to first rip it apart and then slice off the foreskin. Often, the raw bleeding tip of the penis tries to re-fuse back to the foreskin causing adhesions or skin bridges. (Warning, do not Google on a full stomach.) If you were told your baby slept through the procedure you were lied to. The best pain management available for a circumcision is called a dorsal nerve block and it only covers one of the two main nerves running down the penis. Often babies are given a simple sugar pacifier (I'm not even kidding) or lidocaine cream. The procedure is always painful! I watched some videos, but I couldn’t watch much. I don’t have the stomach for that. You can google them on YouTube.

I wish someone had told me this stuff! I was THIS CLOSE to having my son permanently damaged. I think that’s why I’m so ticked off and want to share this with you. I realize that many of you here have made your decision and that’s fine, but I sure wish someone had told me. Because I’d rather hear it from some crazy random stranger on the internet than from my 14 year old son asking me why he can’t be fixed.

In the end I agree with the consensus that is usually on these threads. It is a personal decision. It's just that there is only one person who should make the decision: the owner of the penis. 

Re: Circumcision Decision

  • God made him that way, why take away From his creation? Good research, momma.
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  • Very good research. I know here it doesn't get done anymore unless something is wrong. Or if you just want it done then you need to pay for it as well.. Way I see it it's there for a reason..
  • I'm happy that you took the time and effort to look this up. I absolutely agree whole heartedly that there's absolutely no need to have them cut and you didn't word it badly it's just the truth
  • sassyg25 said:

    I'm happy that you took the time and effort to look this up. I absolutely agree whole heartedly that there's absolutely no need to have them cut and you didn't word it badly it's just the truth

    Calling a child DAMAGED isn't the truth, it's a very hurtful opinion. While i still haven't decided if my baby will e snipped, he will never be DAMAGED.


    Formerly known as Kate08young
    August '18 Siggy April Showers:






    Me: 28 H: 24
    Married: 7/22/14
    Baby L: 8/4/2015  August 2015 Moms
    Baby E: 11/18/2016   December 2016 Moms
    TTC #3 08/2017  BFP 11/27/2017. 
    Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well. 


  • Damage is what she considers it. While I don't think that word is the best way to put it (id say altering) it's her opinion. I don't see the necessity in it personally. Its an unnecessary alteration that I don't believe should be done unless medical circumstances dictate so. While it might be common... Insurance doesn't cover it, because it's not necessary.
  • sassyg25 said:

    I'm happy that you took the time and effort to look this up. I absolutely agree whole heartedly that there's absolutely no need to have them cut and you didn't word it badly it's just the truth

    Sometimes there is a need which medically I had with my son. We made the decision and am glad to say he is still perfection to us. Please don't speak on behalf of everyone. Everyone's experience is different.
  • BTW I support a healthy convo on this topic I just don't think this is it.
  • Sometimes people sort of glaze over when given a bunch of studies, but I'm happy to provide links:

    This is a basic foreskin fact sheet: https://www.intactamerica.org/foreskinfacts
    This website is a great overall resource.

    This is the NORM list. It covers everything that is lost due to circumcision: https://www.norm.org/lost.html

    This is an academic study showing decreased sensitivity in circumcised penises

    Here is an article linking circumcision with ED

    Here is a resource library of circumcision facts, articles and information. There are stories from mothers with circumcised sons.

    Here is an article pointing out that the annual death rates for circumcision are higher than for SIDS.

    And here is a HuffPo article from two days ago highlighting the changes surrounding circumcision in America today.

    Lastly, here is Penn and Teller's funny video on the subject.


  • Very spammy post. To each his own (penis). Haven't met a boy/guy/man who wasn't in love with his own. Circ, uncirc, half-circ...he'll love it forever! Lol. I'm behind any mom who did research, put thought in it, and made a decision---whichever decision!
  • Damage is what she considers it. While I don't think that word is the best way to put it (id say altering) it's her opinion. I don't see the necessity in it personally. Its an unnecessary alteration that I don't believe should be done unless medical circumstances dictate so. While it might be common... Insurance doesn't cover it, because it's not necessary.

    My insurance covered it 100% with my son... So yeah.

    Married 6-1-13
    Sebastian 3-11-14
    Simon 5-2-15
    Baby #3 Due 9-29-16
  • DMEL said:

    klairv said:

    Sometimes people sort of glaze over when given a bunch of studies, but I'm happy to provide links:


    This is a basic foreskin fact sheet: https://www.intactamerica.org/foreskinfacts
    This website is a great overall resource.

    This is the NORM list. It covers everything that is lost due to circumcision: https://www.norm.org/lost.html

    This is an academic study showing decreased sensitivity in circumcised penises

    Here is an article linking circumcision with ED

    Here is a resource library of circumcision facts, articles and information. There are stories from mothers with circumcised sons.

    Here is an article pointing out that the annual death rates for circumcision are higher than for SIDS.

    And here is a HuffPo article from two days ago highlighting the changes surrounding circumcision in America today.

    Lastly, here is Penn and Teller's funny video on the subject.


    These are not credible medical resources.
    @DMEL I heart you
  • Some of those will link through to medical documents and studies, but since most people don't like to read those I included the most reader-friendly links.

    There is a lot of money being made by medical professionals on this high-profit low-cost procedure in the US. It is the only surgery performed on minors in the absence of an actual, diagnosed illness or problem.  The AAP is unique among first world nations for its position on this topic and even the AAP won't actually recommend the procedure, they just say that the "benefits" outweigh the "risks". 

    Here's a super long summary of official medical position from other countries: https://www.cirp.org/library/statements/

    Two highlights:

    Finland:
    The Central Union for Child Welfare considers that circumcision of boys that violates the personal integrity of the boys is not acceptable unless it is done for medical reasons to treat an illness. The basis for the measures of a society must be an unconditional respect for the bodily integrity of an under-aged person.


    Canada:
    The CPS recommends that "Circumcision of newborns should not be routinely (i.e.,in the absence of medical indication) performed." Since there are no medical indications for circumcision in the newborn period, in effect, the CPS is saying that newborn circumcisions should not be performed.
  • LadyBloodLadyBlood member
    edited April 2015
    All of your "research" is the most biased stuff out there. You can literally find anything on the internet, that doesn't make it fact or a credible source. And the only thing you are showing people are links about the foreskin, I think we all know what it is and what it does, cuz everyone with a boy or having a boy has done their own research, but we also checked credible sources and medical sources that also show benefits to circumcision. The pamphlet given from my hospital, the American Academy of Pediatrics, my college textbook on child development psychology... all sources I trust over your "somebiasedname".org crap.

    Oh and not every hospital is doing it just to make money. My midwife is always joking that we don't do things routinely like you guys see at your visits like urine testing and weekly visits before 38 weeks, or cervical checks til 38 weeks cuz they aren't making money off of us. So they aren't getting to charge us for all the unnecessary stuff. (Military insurance delivery at military hospital) yet they still give us good pros and cons to circumcisions.
  • This topic is absolutely one of the most divisive, hot button issues in American society today around baby raising. Whether one is pro or anti circumcision, their opinion will not change. Only people who are truly looking for which side to land on will consider the information, whether from a medical journal or publication, or a message board.
    I'm pro foreskin and have lived in several countries and had opportunities to speak to medical professionals on both sides. That is just the side I landed on, long before I married my European spouse. I have friends on both sides of the fence. I accept and respect their choices, as they would mine when/if I have a boy.
  • Just make sure to keep it clean and make sure when he gets older that he's keeping it clean.  It's not difficult, but little boys tend to get in a big hurry in the bath and not take care of everything they should.  That's really what can cause an infection, just something to think about for later.  :)
  • The reason this discussion gets so contentious is because the most difficult thing about circumcision isn't the logical argument, it's the emotional one. When our culture is changed we get uncomfortable. That's normal. I think about it this way: with any other surgery for our sons if our doctor told us it wasn't necessary we'd be ecstatic, yet somehow not for this one. 

    I know it was that way for me. My husband and every man in his family is circumcised. Every single one of the mom friends I know right now circumcised their sons. These are awesome, caring, fabulous moms! The only difference between them and me is that someone reached out to me with more information. (Well and that I'm kind of a research dork as you might be able to tell.)

    I was so uncomfortable at first being the only one who made this choice. It was agonizing in the hospital as I asked every nurse about fifty times if I was making the right decision. (That wasn't as helpful as you might think.) However, over the last few months I've learned how not a big deal that really is. Caring for his intact penis is beyond easy: wipe like a finger, that's it. No bloody diapers. No vaseline on the wound. The only thing it is really important to know that only the boy himself should retract his foreskin after it separates naturally which could be as late as puberty. Do not let any doctors, parents or caretakers do it sooner.

    Somebody came up to me just this week, while I was changing my sons diaper, and said "oh cool, my son is intact too!" Other intact boys are out there are out there even if it's not obvious. Times are changing. It won't be long before we don't even have to deal with this agonizing decision for our little ones. Our tense discussions will go away. And that, in my book, will be awesome.



  • This OP is obnoxious. Stop spreading your one sided views on mothers. We get it... You're anti circumcision. No go troll another site.
  • Oh wow. When I first read what the OP wrote I thought she was full of it. So I've been reading everything I can about it all day. For me, she totally changed my mind and opened my eyes to something I really didn't understand before. I thought foreskin was just a useless flap of skin. @klairv sorry you're getting such a hard time on here. I will not be circumcising our son now. I for one am thankful you spoke up!

    I read the stuff about UTI's and pencil caner too. But those turn out to be pretty bad reasons in my opinion.

    Penile cancer is an extremely rare cancer. https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/hpv/statistics/penile.htm
    Not only that it has really high survival rates. I even found this from the American Cancer Society!
    In the past, circumcision has been suggested as a way to prevent penile cancer. This was based on studies that reported much lower penile cancer rates among circumcised men than among uncircumcised men. But in some studies, the protective effect of circumcision was no longer seen after factors like smegma and phimosis were taken into account.

    UTIs are more common in women actually. I've had them and they're painful but all it takes is some antibiotics to get rid of them.




  • @MaddJay24567 Thank you for that. I'm sure your son will appreciate it!

    For other ladies here who are still on the fence don't take it from me, listen to this guy: 


    So just like most people here, I was circumcised at birth. Honestly, growing up, I always believed that my penis was normal. I actually never knew about being uncircumcised until my second year in university. Yet, even though I had always seen my penis as being circumcised, I always felt like something wasn't right. It was as if my body was trying to tell me that the way my penis looked was not normal. Additionally, I had also developed a skin bridge on my penis about a centimeter across. Yet, even as a child, I still thought this was normal. I didn't discover about foreskin restoration until the same time I learned about being uncircumcised. I had always wanted to try it, but never had the tools necessary to do so. I'm getting ready to graduate this year, and have been restoring for the past 3 months. I and noticing some (small) gains. For instance, I am able to stretch my skin easily over the head of my penis. And my skin does stay over the head after removing my retainer, even if only for a few seconds. But this was all things that never happened before. So while my gains are small, I am still glad for them. 

    But despite this, I still have my moments when I just feel down and depressed about the whole issue. As I said before, I was circumcised at birth, and it was by the choice of my mother. My mother and I don't always see eye to eye, and often times we do have our disagreements and arguments. When I wanted to approach the subject matter, I knew to approach carefully. We have a dog, and my mother and her partner had chosen to get our dogs tail cut off. I used our dog as a gateway to begin talking about circumcision to my mother. I asked her why did they have to cut our dogs tail off saying that our dog was "practically circumcised." My mother responded with a simple, "So?" 

    I told her that I felt bad for our dog because just like her being "circumcised." I was also circumcised, so I knew what it was like to have a part of my body removed. My mother started yelling at me. Saying, "Why would you want to be uncircumcised?! I AM YOUR MOTHER! It was MY choice to have you circumcised! Because I thought it looked UGLY!" That was the end of our first conversation about it. 

    I found it ironic because she had me circumcised since she thought it looked "ugly," but I actually find my circumcised penis ugly. And it is hard for me especially since I am constantly reminded of it every time I have to use the restroom or take a shower. I have to look down at myself and feel ashamed. I have to look down and hate the way I look. I see my skin bridge and remember how if i was uncircumcised, I wouldn't have had the skin bridge in the first place. And I wouldn't have to have set up an appointment to get it fixed. My mother always complains about how everything costs money, yet here we are having to pay more money to fix something that could have been avoided had she simply said "no" to the doctor on getting me circumcised. 

    I've tried speaking to her again about it. The second time, she was a lot more calm. She said that at the time I was born, circumcision was just the thing to do in America. And my father was circumcised too. She did say, however, that if she knew what she did now about circumcision and the foreskin, she would not have had me circumcised. How unlucky for me that I had to have been born back when I was.... 

    When I brought it up to her that I wanted to fix my skin bridge, she kept advising me not to do it since she said I "will lose feeling down there." I began to get upset and told her, "I've already lost feeling because you had me circumcised." She responded to me saying, "if you get it fixed, your practically mutilating yourself." Again, my anger rose and I shot back with, "It's too late for that since you already mutilated me." She, again, got mad saying, "You were circumcised in America. It's not mutilation in America. Stop complaining because you're never going to get it back." 


    This is from a website with thousands of members trying to re-stretch their foreskins. I found this is the "grief" section where they share how they feel about their circumcisions. It's here if you'd like to read more:https://foreskin-restoration.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=61
  • DMELDMEL member
    klairv said:

    @MaddJay24567 Thank you for that. I'm sure your son will appreciate it!


    For other ladies here who are still on the fence don't take it from me, listen to this guy: 


    So just like most people here, I was circumcised at birth. Honestly, growing up, I always believed that my penis was normal. I actually never knew about being uncircumcised until my second year in university. Yet, even though I had always seen my penis as being circumcised, I always felt like something wasn't right. It was as if my body was trying to tell me that the way my penis looked was not normal. Additionally, I had also developed a skin bridge on my penis about a centimeter across. Yet, even as a child, I still thought this was normal. I didn't discover about foreskin restoration until the same time I learned about being uncircumcised. I had always wanted to try it, but never had the tools necessary to do so. I'm getting ready to graduate this year, and have been restoring for the past 3 months. I and noticing some (small) gains. For instance, I am able to stretch my skin easily over the head of my penis. And my skin does stay over the head after removing my retainer, even if only for a few seconds. But this was all things that never happened before. So while my gains are small, I am still glad for them. 

    But despite this, I still have my moments when I just feel down and depressed about the whole issue. As I said before, I was circumcised at birth, and it was by the choice of my mother. My mother and I don't always see eye to eye, and often times we do have our disagreements and arguments. When I wanted to approach the subject matter, I knew to approach carefully. We have a dog, and my mother and her partner had chosen to get our dogs tail cut off. I used our dog as a gateway to begin talking about circumcision to my mother. I asked her why did they have to cut our dogs tail off saying that our dog was "practically circumcised." My mother responded with a simple, "So?" 

    I told her that I felt bad for our dog because just like her being "circumcised." I was also circumcised, so I knew what it was like to have a part of my body removed. My mother started yelling at me. Saying, "Why would you want to be uncircumcised?! I AM YOUR MOTHER! It was MY choice to have you circumcised! Because I thought it looked UGLY!" That was the end of our first conversation about it. 

    I found it ironic because she had me circumcised since she thought it looked "ugly," but I actually find my circumcised penis ugly. And it is hard for me especially since I am constantly reminded of it every time I have to use the restroom or take a shower. I have to look down at myself and feel ashamed. I have to look down and hate the way I look. I see my skin bridge and remember how if i was uncircumcised, I wouldn't have had the skin bridge in the first place. And I wouldn't have to have set up an appointment to get it fixed. My mother always complains about how everything costs money, yet here we are having to pay more money to fix something that could have been avoided had she simply said "no" to the doctor on getting me circumcised. 

    I've tried speaking to her again about it. The second time, she was a lot more calm. She said that at the time I was born, circumcision was just the thing to do in America. And my father was circumcised too. She did say, however, that if she knew what she did now about circumcision and the foreskin, she would not have had me circumcised. How unlucky for me that I had to have been born back when I was.... 

    When I brought it up to her that I wanted to fix my skin bridge, she kept advising me not to do it since she said I "will lose feeling down there." I began to get upset and told her, "I've already lost feeling because you had me circumcised." She responded to me saying, "if you get it fixed, your practically mutilating yourself." Again, my anger rose and I shot back with, "It's too late for that since you already mutilated me." She, again, got mad saying, "You were circumcised in America. It's not mutilation in America. Stop complaining because you're never going to get it back." 


    This is from a website with thousands of members trying to re-stretch their foreskins. I found this is the "grief" section where they share how they feel about their circumcisions. It's here if you'd like to read more:https://foreskin-restoration.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=61
    Once again, message boards do not constitute sound medical research. Please peddle your crap elsewhere. Everyone is entitled to make an informed decision for their son without being influenced by misinformation like the kind you've been peddling.
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