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May 2015 Moms
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relationship worries

jdiZzleeeejdiZzleeee member
in May 2015 Moms
In a difficult relationship with no trust. Causing me to be seriously depressed and quite ill

Is it more beneficial for my baby if I leave this environment, or stay and try to hide my sadness the best I can so that he's got both parents around? please give advice or experience ;/
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Re: relationship worries

  • jmorneau09jmorneau09 member
    I say leave. Your cute guy will be much better off with a happy/healthy mamma than with one who is just surviving in a relationship. Also, you deserve to be in a relationship with equal respect and gratitude. Lastly…by staying you are teaching your son  (by example) what a relationship looks like. Actions say more than words, especially for children.
     Im sorry that your having to face this decision. Good luck!
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  • kristaelaine86kristaelaine86 member
    Never a good idea to stay for the baby. It is not good for them to grow up in an environment where there is an unhealthy relationship, this is how they will learn to define their own relationships. Also if you stay and remain unhappy, you are closing yourself off to something better that is out there for you both. Every relationship has ups and downs but you either make a decision together to work through them and actually show progress, or you don't. You can't just settle and accept them.
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  • Timswife910Timswife910 member
    I stayed... Then woke up one day and realized I had missed out on years of happiness, self worth, love and I was setting a terrible example to my children about what a relationship should look like. I didn't want my son to grow up thinking that the way his dad treated me was acceptable and I didn't want my girls growing up and using my marriage as their example. Worst decision of my life was to keep staying and talking myself into a relationship that felt like it was killing my soul. I should have left when I first felt like it wasn't right. Having two parents isn't always better than having one!
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  • CateOfChicagoCateOfChicago member
    Leave. My mom stayed with my dad for 15 years, through cheating, emotional and some physical abuse. It didn't do any of us any good. Although we like to think it didn't affect us, I didn't marry until 35. Both my sisters in their 40s are unmarried. It took several friends telling us we have trust issues before we finally believed them.

    Even after my mom finally kicked him out, we still had a relationship with him and always had 2 parents. My mom always made an effort to never bad mouth him and wouldn't let us either. They are both happily with other people and everyone gets along.

    Do what is best for all of you and choose happiness.
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    Franco Paul born 6/4/15 at 39 weeks.  Mila Francesca born 10/19/13 at 37 weeks.  Both born via C-Section after 6 years of fertility treatments, disappointments and losses. Love them!!

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  • peteresapeteresa member
    When there's no trust left then it's time to LEAVE! Now, if you leave and he realizes what a dirt bag he's been and he's willing to go to couples therapy to work through issues and he ginuinely accepts the help and is applying it then I'd go back and then atleast he knows where you stand and it let's him know that you aren't AFRAID to leave him!!!
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  • mlester09mlester09 member
    I stayed and dealt with no trust, no love, no respect, cheating...the whole 9 yards with my oldest sons dad. I wish I would have left sooner than I did (I stayed 2 more yrs). I have found over the years that in order for your children to be happy and healthy...you must be happy an healthy. If you are certain this can not be the right path...than I wouldn't stay. However, you are the only one that knows and can make the decision that's right for you.
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  • Knottie54288128Knottie54288128 member
    When I was pregnant with my son, my ex-husband cheated on me, continuously.  It's not going to change.  You will either leave him now, or you will leave him later.  I say that it's better to leave him now because your child will only know the two of you being apart, it would be less stressful for the child in the long run.  Never stay in a relationship that lacks trust.  I often wish I had left before my son was born, I wasted another 2.5 years on my ex that I will never get back.  I am now in an insanely amazing relationship and I keep thinking that I could have been here so much earlier if I had gone with my gut. 
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  • Knottie54288128Knottie54288128 member
    edited April 2015
    @mlester09, #bibletruth
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  • dec2018momdec2018mom member
    Asking a group of people who know nothing about you or details of your relationship is NEVER a good idea. We don't know the situation, so can't give the best advice. We could all tell you to leave, but what if in the end it's just insecurity and hormones?
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  • mlester09mlester09 member
    mrsphillips610 said:

    Asking a group of people who know nothing about you or details of your relationship is NEVER a good idea. We don't know the situation, so can't give the best advice. We could all tell you to leave, but what if in the end it's just insecurity and hormones?

    Exactly why I said only you know what's best for you and can make the right decision for you! :)
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  • christmasstreechristmasstree member
    Never a good idea to stay. As hard as it might be the baby will be much better off with a happy mama. I just went through this where my babys father left me. It was hard but its worse to stress and worry and be unhappy then to try and hide your feelings. Good luck
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