Just a new mom venting session...

Re: Just a new mom venting session...

• mommygrams0730 member

  April 2015

  Well this is my 4th and I think I can count on 1 hand the times my husband has been to an appt. he just goes to the big ultrasound at 20 weeks and that's it.
  
  That works for us, it's not s big deal to me and most times it's an in and out appt.
  
  If it's bothering you then mention to him you'd like him to come, you know he's busy but maybe you could work around his schedule for the next appt.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  
  

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• str13 member

  April 2015

  I agree with @mommy grams tell him how you're feeling, he may just not realise its something you'd like for him to be there for? I know it's lonely though, DH went to one appointment for DD1 or zero for DD2! Once so far this time, but I think that was mostly to state the doctor down because I had a mirena! Lol
  If you're feeling depressed and its more than just "blues" I'd mention it to your doc! This is a wonderful, exciting time for you and your family, but you want to be able to enjoy it. There are medicines that you can take if it comes down to that. I also starting seeing a therapist after my first and throughout my second pregnancy, it helped tremendously!!!

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• leah665 member

  April 2015

  My partner hasn't been either. I told him that he has to come to the 20 week scan and a birthing class. Those are mandatory and nonnegotiable.
  
  With men you have to tell them what you want. They aren't feeling what we are feeling, so you can't expect them to know.

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• sbeltre member

  April 2015

  Don't feel alone! Tell him how you feel or try and schedule them for when you know he isn't working.

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• jenspeake member

  April 2015

  My hubby isn't coming to all of my appointments because he doesn't get a lot of PTO where he works so he has to save up every hour he has for when the baby comes.  I just make sure he is at the ultrasound ones at least!

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• dchiapella member

  April 2015

  leah665 said:

  With men you have to tell them what you want. They aren't feeling what we are feeling, so you can't expect them to know.

  So, SOOOO true! This is very accurate with men vs women in general, I think our inability to accept the concept just gets heightened during pregnancy. So. Many. Quarrels. Could have been avoided if I had just realized this sooner. Women are gifted/ cursed with an excessively strong alignment to empathy, men tend to work with facts or what is more tangible. We can't expect them to just know what we want, unfortunately we have been lied to for years by all those rom coms. If you want something, ask. 

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• LittleLang member

  April 2015

  Thanks ladies! I think I will express all of my feelings with him tonight. Maybe we can do an elective US on a day he has off!

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• sunflower1986 member

  April 2015

  I'm right there with you. Dh travels a lot so I've literally been alone. I would just talk to you dh and let him know that you would like to share this with him...

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• lillie243454 member

  April 2015

  I'm 1st time mom too. I also feel super alone & depressed. I think it's just exaggerated bc of hormones. If I think rationally about it all I'm just fine. But I still cry almost every night! Oh well

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