Body Depression

mfulenwider · April 2015

hi ladies. This is the first time I've ever written on a forum but I felt like I had to. I'm feeling so alone right now... I'm 30 weeks pregnant & I just CANT seem to accept my pregnant body. I HATE the way I look! Pre pregnancy I weighed 135 & I'm 5'7, so I was somewhat thin... I've gained about 35-40 lbs & I'm so miserable. My legs are full of cellulite & my arms have doubled in size. I won't let my husband see me without clothes on. I break down crying daily just looking in the mirror. I'm so excited to welcome our little boy into this world & I feel so guilty for feeling this way but idk what to do! I've ripped 2 pair of maternity jeans in the past 3 days. I'm avoiding buying more simply bc I know I need a bigger size. These feelings consume me, leaving no room for any other feelings. I want to embrace my body & feel happy but I'm so depressed. Please help... Any advice would be appreciated.

R87 · April 2015

It's totally normal to feel this way. I always tell my husband how unattractive I feel. But I tell myself it's not forever, I'm growing a life and what motivates me the most is I tell myself after I have the baby I going to get into the best shape of my life. Not too much longer to go, hang in there : )

JessHeppell · April 2015

here it goes again..

virginiaunicorn11 · April 2015

What would you tell your best friend if she were going through this right now? Be as kind to yourself as you would a good friend. Stop looking in the mirror. Every time you start to focus on your body, push your thoughts to your baby. Your mama soul is inside this shell, and it is growing a freaking person, from a sperm and an egg! How amazing!

I tried maternity jeans on, and they just didn't fit. I spent over an hour going up and up and up in sizes, and they just don't fit. So I only wear leggings and dresses. F that crap. No brand is going to make me doubt myself. I'm growing a kid in this belly!

You are almost there - over two thirds of the way! Be kind to yourself, refocus your attention, and remember where your self worth is - it is not in your thighs or your tag on your jeans, it's really not.

Big hugs, lady, hang in there. If you can't shake this yourself, make sure you talk to your doctor about it. Hormones be crazy, and sometimes a cloud can descend. You are not the cloud. You are the light of the world for this baby and your husband!

finchfeeder80 · April 2015

If it's really effecting your quality of life, and especially your relationship with your husband, I would definitely talk to your doctor or therapist if you have one. It's common to have some doubts and reservations when something about your body changes, especially when it's something you have no control over, however, it sounds like you're taking this pretty hard. Make sure you talk to someone, professionally, your husband, a good friend, you mom, someone who loves you and cares. Happy, healthy mama = happy, healthy baby. Be kind to yourself and take care.

hassibri · April 2015

You're not alone! I just called my mom whining, the cellulite seems to be running vampid. Oh well, just remind yourself YOU'RE PREGNANT!

Anjelyk2 · April 2015

@mfulendwider it is good that you chose to post here. Many ladies feel the same way you do because of the weight gain associated with pregnancy. Dress in what makes you comfortable and what looks good, there are some really cute dresses, long maxi skirts and tops - rock some leggings if you want to hide the cellulite.

The harsh reality is, you still have 10 weeks left and you may gain some more weight. Then when your precious little boy is born - it will take some time to shed the weight you have gained.

As @finchfeeder80 said, if the way you feel is affecting your quality of life ... now is a good time to talk to a doctor (and insist that you get someone to talk to) because it can easily carry on into post-partum depression.

Hang in there momma!

PhoenixFrances · April 2015

I really felt like this with my last pregnancy it is a horrible thing to go through. Please talk with your doctor they can help. I developed postpartum depression with my last child and never told anyone what I was going through. Going through it alone is the worst! I am so glad you are able to get it off your chest here. Remember you are growing a miracle and this is only temporary! Prayers for you and your little one!!

enigmaticjj · April 2015

I just want to say that I'm glad most posters here are being supportive. Especially since anyone here can develop postpartum depression. As someone who has suffered from depression at times, it can feel unbearable when you get rejected trying to reach out for help by others who don't have the patience/kindness/awareness to respond better.

I don't have anything extra to add outside of the prior supportive posts. Just want to emphasize not to be afraid to talk to your doctor and a counselor.

kbbtah · April 2015

Let me just say therapy is AMAZING! We all hit rough patches in our lives. I've sought assistance from a therapist twice and WOW! It felt so good to talk it out and get some unbiased guidance. Highly recommend it. We have a lot on our plates right now, don't hesitate to let someone on the outside walk you through it.

btm013 · April 2015

I think we are all suffering from this a little bit in our own way. It's a weird thing to go through and you certainly aren't alone. My shirt always stays on during sexy time which quite frankly has been awhile since who feels sexy right now!?! I wish I was the type who could rock a bump but I can't. I like what a PP said about being kind to yourself. Sometimes I feel like I say things regarding my appearance that I would NEVER say about another person. We are our own worst critic. I stopped weighing myself and I told the nurses during my appointments to not say the weight out loud or tell me. It really helped out.

rsalata · April 2015

I'm the same height and close to the same weight as u I'm 185 so if my math is correct im a little bigger. We are also in the same week of pregnancy. And I'm depressed about my body being unattractive. So we have a lot in common. I agree with a lot of what all the other ladies said. I think of it like this...if I don't like my body I can always change it back to almost normal by working out and tanning after babies born. It will help your self esteem. Our baby is soooooooo worth the cellulite and extra padding we carry during pregnancy. Definitely worth it.

rsalata · April 2015

And I'm having a boy too!

AmyCee · April 2015

I can relate and empathize - I will say, it was work but, with my first I gained 65 lbs and lost 75 -- it meant a lot of work after, but I did it! It's hard to see your body change -- this pregnancy I had a goal weight gain of 25 lbs and planned to exercise all the way through, but I'm having complications and can't - basically Gds way of saying, gain some weight - just work it off! If your husband is supportive that's wonderful if he's not, he can be later...apparently, I started to resemble his cousin that he couldn't stand when I gained weight...Feel better

anissa13588 · April 2015

I feel the same way DH tells me I'm fine I'm pregnant n I'll loose it but it's hard to get threw when I don't feel good about it but Ik when my daughter comes it will be worth it just look forward to what's coming out of all this

mfulenwider · April 2015

Thank yAll so much! You guys really made me feel better! I'm glad I found this forum

megmama · April 2015

When you see those big handsome eyes staring at you the day your son is born, you will forget all about what your body looks like. I promise! I have gained 46 lbs so far this pregnancy! And I also fell HUGE and just uncomfortable, but I know this is temporary and for a really good reason!

Just remember, totally normal to feel this way and you will lose the weight... and you are not alone. we are all in this TOGETHER!

Sundaygirl200 · April 2015

So relieved to read this and know I'm not alone. I feel like there has been lots of threads about women hardly gaining any weight or being petite (all of which are fine) and I do understand every woman, pregnancy and body is different - it's just good to find some solace in not being the only woman struggling with their pregnant body.
People keep telling saying "you don't even look that big" and "don't forget your pregnant" then you get the other people who tell you to exercise and eat really healthy so "you don't have to lose so much when you've had the baby" but the truth is I've always had big legs, hips and bum, just when you add massive boobs, big belly and a bit extra padding all over i feel like a total whale. Especially carrying it all on a 5"3 frame but at 32 and a 1/2 weeks there's little I can do about what I'm already carrying so the exercise comments just tick me off! When I walk (waddle) I feel like I'm carrying a bowling ball in my knickers and constantly have the urge to pee :-S
So thank you to all the women who have posted positive words on this thread, it's made my friday after a stressful day trying to get some summery clothes that don't make me look like a ball.

bowloforanges1327 · April 2015

I have always had eating problems and body image issues. 4 pregnancies later and it hasn't gotten any easier. I can tell you that your baby is worth it all and helps ease the anxiety and stress. Be gentle with yourself you are beautiful!

thursdaychick · April 2015

Sundaygirl200 said:
"I feel like I'm carrying a bowling ball in my knickers and constantly have the urge to pee :-S

Isn't that the truth! I can not walk without feeling like I have to pee every couple of minutes! It is horrible!!

And to do with the actual post.... I have the most horrible body image. Always have. Being pregnant is so hard for me when it comes to weight gain. I know people think I am insane when I complain about the way that I look since I started out thin....but I can see my growing thighs, new love handles, face getting bigger, arms getting bigger. It all kind of too much to take in. And I can't complain about it to ANYONE because everyone just thinks I am insane. I have gained a good amount of weight..and it isn't just belly. Pregnancy is hard for many reasons.. but weight gain is the worst by far! But as you all said.. I am sure when my baby girl is born....it won't even matter!

Cateash77 · April 2015

By letting yourself gain some weight you are doing the right thing for your baby. Docs have known since the 1950s when weight targets were close to a 14 pound gain for the whole pregnancy that restricted weight gain during pregnancy adversely impacts fetal size. Your baby will be healthy and thank you for it. I have been having the same issues and was feeling quite depressed. Last pregnancy I started at your height with a weight of 123 and ended the pregnancy at 156. This time around I wanted to gain less but at 33.5 I am already 149 pounds so likely I will gain more and I won't restrict myself because it might harm my baby. It is hard to feel out of control of your body. I find doing light exercise to maintain and build muscle tone has helped me stay in touch with my body and made me feel like at least it might be a bit easier when I go to lose the weight after having the baby. you are nearly there and as others have said, any negative thoughts that dominate your day could be a warning sign for ppd, maybe talk to your GP and see if you guys can set up a plan for support for after the birth for if you do start to feel depressed.

MrsWiggleWaggle · April 2015

For those needing some body positivity, check out Isabel Foxen dukes blog and try her guide "how not to eat cake really fast standing over a trash can" it's funny and enlightening.

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