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Thursday Family/In-Law Vents

MissRissx3MissRissx3 member
in May 2015 Moms
Alright, so some of you know that DH's grandma has been like an ongoing issue for me, for months. Well I finally summoned the courage to talk to him about it, and to let him know how I have been feeling. I explained that I feel like my privacy is being invaded (She likes to listen to my phone conversations, stand outside of the bathroom door waiting and waiting on me to get out and also likes to pry into mine and DH's conversations.) Anyways, he understood where I was coming from, and told me to just relax that it was just how she was. I get that, and I get that she is old and bored, but I told him that I can no longer handle the stress of living with a perfectly capable 84 year old woman, who acts like she's 7. She refers to herself as a "baby". She won't make her own plate, won't get her own drinks (when she doesn't feel like it.) She takes full advantage of everyone around her. And I think it's because of us having a baby on the way she is maybe, jealous? Which sounds ridiculous, believe me! But what else could it be? I mean seriously. It's gotten so weird around here that she won't even acknowledge my existence anymore. Which hey, whatever. I told him i'd like a lock on our bedroom door, especially when Ella arrives. (She likes to open our door without knocking.. yeah you could imagine at times how awkward that is.) But the main question I have, is why? Why intentionally piss your family off by being obnoxious? Why lie about things to stir the pot? Why all of the sudden are you completely dependent on everyone? DH (Zach), has let her have it a few times over her being childish on purpose. Yet she still continues. I just can't wait until the day we get our OWN place. Like a real place to call our own. :( 
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Re: Thursday Family/In-Law Vents

  • cpage2211cpage2211 member
    I know exactly how you're feeling @MissRissx3 when it comes to the childish acts. I don't know who is more ridiculous, your grandma-in-law or my mother...

    The roles have always been reversed for my mother and I. I have always taken care of her and cleaned up her messes. I moved out when I was 17 with my now hubby. I couldn't take the drug and alcoholic binges that would go on anymore (I dealt with these since I was 13- at least). My mothers long time boyfriend has always been a heavy drinker, drug user and has been abusive (one time when he was beating her I jumped on his back to attempt to protect her and he threw me off of a porch and I landed on my head and ended up with a concussion). I needed to get out, so I did.

    In the most recent years, she has gotten better and we have had a lovely-sometimes rocky- relationship. If she decides that I "hurt her feelings" she blocks me on Fb and doesn't call or return my calls or texts. I've just put up with it because it's my Mother. last weekend (Easter) she came to dinner without my brother (that's another story in itself but he is 18 and is "the man" of the house and can make his own decisions). She threw around her digs and comments and everyone ignored them. When she left she wanted to know if she could bring some dinner to my brother-why?! He decided not to come! So my Grandmother made him two plates. My mother left, then called my grandmother and wanted to discuss the day and how her feelings were hurt, while a bunch of family was still there. My grandmother told her she'd call her back after we all left.

    After I left I get a phone call-the first thing she says to me is, "do I sound drunk?" Frankly? Yes, yes you do. She then wants to discuss what my hubby and I did to hurt her feelings. Are you fucking kidding me right now? I told her I had to have a stress test done on the babies heartbeat earlier in the week and I couldn't deal with her shit anymore and that she shouldn't drink anymore. She continued with her ranting not giving a care about what I had just said. She ended up hanging up on me eventually and then text me to say she wouldn't bother me anymore and goodbye.

    I ignored a text and some phone calls Monday because I had work, a Drs appointment and I came down with a nasty bug and didn't have the energy to talk to her and now she has unfriended me on Fb. Big whoop. I don't care. It's just aggravating that my mother acts like a spoiled 16 year old who throws tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. She doesn't work and is living off of loans from my grandmother since she was supposed to be starting a business. Seems to me, she should be grateful that my grandmother has done that, but she constantly bitches about that too!! Argghhhhh!!

    I know this got really fucking long and if you stopped reading, I understand and if you read all of this-I applaud you! There is so much back story and little details that I could literally write a novel. I just needed to get this out. I am 9 months pregnant and tired and don't need the stress she is causing me.
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  • MissRissx3MissRissx3 member
    cpage2211 said:

    I know exactly how you're feeling @MissRissx3 when it comes to the childish acts. I don't know who is more ridiculous, your grandma-in-law or my mother...

    The roles have always been reversed for my mother and I. I have always taken care of her and cleaned up her messes. I moved out when I was 17 with my now hubby. I couldn't take the drug and alcoholic binges that would go on anymore (I dealt with these since I was 13- at least). My mothers long time boyfriend has always been a heavy drinker, drug user and has been abusive (one time when he was beating her I jumped on his back to attempt to protect her and he threw me off of a porch and I landed on my head and ended up with a concussion). I needed to get out, so I did.

    In the most recent years, she has gotten better and we have had a lovely-sometimes rocky- relationship. If she decides that I "hurt her feelings" she blocks me on Fb and doesn't call or return my calls or texts. I've just put up with it because it's my Mother. last weekend (Easter) she came to dinner without my brother (that's another story in itself but he is 18 and is "the man" of the house and can make his own decisions). She threw around her digs and comments and everyone ignored them. When she left she wanted to know if she could bring some dinner to my brother-why?! He decided not to come! So my Grandmother made him two plates. My mother left, then called my grandmother and wanted to discuss the day and how her feelings were hurt, while a bunch of family was still there. My grandmother told her she'd call her back after we all left.

    After I left I get a phone call-the first thing she says to me is, "do I sound drunk?" Frankly? Yes, yes you do. She then wants to discuss what my hubby and I did to hurt her feelings. Are you fucking kidding me right now? I told her I had to have a stress test done on the babies heartbeat earlier in the week and I couldn't deal with her shit anymore and that she shouldn't drink anymore. She continued with her ranting not giving a care about what I had just said. She ended up hanging up on me eventually and then text me to say she wouldn't bother me anymore and goodbye.

    I ignored a text and some phone calls Monday because I had work, a Drs appointment and I came down with a nasty bug and didn't have the energy to talk to her and now she has unfriended me on Fb. Big whoop. I don't care. It's just aggravating that my mother acts like a spoiled 16 year old who throws tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. She doesn't work and is living off of loans from my grandmother since she was supposed to be starting a business. Seems to me, she should be grateful that my grandmother has done that, but she constantly bitches about that too!! Argghhhhh!!

    I know this got really fucking long and if you stopped reading, I understand and if you read all of this-I applaud you! There is so much back story and little details that I could literally write a novel. I just needed to get this out. I am 9 months pregnant and tired and don't need the stress she is causing me.

    Okay you might find this weird, because I do, but what you JUST explained, is my Mother! We didn't talk from when I turned 18 until about 20. She too, is a heavy heavy drinker (Not drugs), but oh my GOD I know where you're coming from :( and it's a damn shame that you have to go through that. Especially with a little one on the way! My mom is the same way though. She is "so sensitive" to everything, She also battles with chronic depression. She left my dad for his old buddy! He supports her drinking habits, and now she's gained depression and anorexia. She has no appetite, she can barely even fucking stand up for more than 3 minutes because she's gotten so weak. Ugh, I know how you feel for the most part, and again i am SO sorry that you had/have to deal with that BS. Kt sucks having to be the parent to your parent..
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  • DMELDMEL member
    cpage2211 said:

    I know exactly how you're feeling @MissRissx3 when it comes to the childish acts. I don't know who is more ridiculous, your grandma-in-law or my mother...

    The roles have always been reversed for my mother and I. I have always taken care of her and cleaned up her messes. I moved out when I was 17 with my now hubby. I couldn't take the drug and alcoholic binges that would go on anymore (I dealt with these since I was 13- at least). My mothers long time boyfriend has always been a heavy drinker, drug user and has been abusive (one time when he was beating her I jumped on his back to attempt to protect her and he threw me off of a porch and I landed on my head and ended up with a concussion). I needed to get out, so I did.

    In the most recent years, she has gotten better and we have had a lovely-sometimes rocky- relationship. If she decides that I "hurt her feelings" she blocks me on Fb and doesn't call or return my calls or texts. I've just put up with it because it's my Mother. last weekend (Easter) she came to dinner without my brother (that's another story in itself but he is 18 and is "the man" of the house and can make his own decisions). She threw around her digs and comments and everyone ignored them. When she left she wanted to know if she could bring some dinner to my brother-why?! He decided not to come! So my Grandmother made him two plates. My mother left, then called my grandmother and wanted to discuss the day and how her feelings were hurt, while a bunch of family was still there. My grandmother told her she'd call her back after we all left.

    After I left I get a phone call-the first thing she says to me is, "do I sound drunk?" Frankly? Yes, yes you do. She then wants to discuss what my hubby and I did to hurt her feelings. Are you fucking kidding me right now? I told her I had to have a stress test done on the babies heartbeat earlier in the week and I couldn't deal with her shit anymore and that she shouldn't drink anymore. She continued with her ranting not giving a care about what I had just said. She ended up hanging up on me eventually and then text me to say she wouldn't bother me anymore and goodbye.

    I ignored a text and some phone calls Monday because I had work, a Drs appointment and I came down with a nasty bug and didn't have the energy to talk to her and now she has unfriended me on Fb. Big whoop. I don't care. It's just aggravating that my mother acts like a spoiled 16 year old who throws tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. She doesn't work and is living off of loans from my grandmother since she was supposed to be starting a business. Seems to me, she should be grateful that my grandmother has done that, but she constantly bitches about that too!! Argghhhhh!!

    I know this got really fucking long and if you stopped reading, I understand and if you read all of this-I applaud you! There is so much back story and little details that I could literally write a novel. I just needed to get this out. I am 9 months pregnant and tired and don't need the stress she is causing me.

    Narcissistic personality disorder. I'm sorry you (both) have to deal with this. Sadly, there's little that can be done as most narcissists don't acknowledge their problems and refuse treatment. Best of luck to you
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  • cpage2211cpage2211 member
    Thank you @MissRissx3 and @DMEL. She has bipolar and has been on meds to help her control it, but when she doesn't go get counseling and drinks, it's not healthy for her and she does nothing to try and help herself. And then when she does anything for you, it gets thrown back in your face. She threw my shower and a few days before it she says "No one ever threw me a shower for either of my kids". Smh, well I didn't ask you to throw me one, you offered. Like I said, there is so much of a back story and I am just fed up.

    I have a 9 year old son and she plays head games. I tell her no to something and she mentions it to him and then when I tell him no, I am the bad guy. She has so been promising him to redo his new room and I never budgeted for it since she kept saying she would do it. Well, I'm due in 4 weeks and nothing has been done on her end so we started it. Then the guilt trips came!! I. Just. Can. Not. Nope.
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  • MissRissx3MissRissx3 member
    cpage2211 said:

    Thank you @MissRissx3 and @DMEL. She has bipolar and has been on meds to help her control it, but when she doesn't go get counseling and drinks, it's not healthy for her and she does nothing to try and help herself. And then when she does anything for you, it gets thrown back in your face. She threw my shower and a few days before it she says "No one ever threw me a shower for either of my kids". Smh, well I didn't ask you to throw me one, you offered. Like I said, there is so much of a back story and I am just fed up.

    I have a 9 year old son and she plays head games. I tell her no to something and she mentions it to him and then when I tell him no, I am the bad guy. She has so been promising him to redo his new room and I never budgeted for it since she kept saying she would do it. Well, I'm due in 4 weeks and nothing has been done on her end so we started it. Then the guilt trips came!! I. Just. Can. Not. Nope.

    God. That would aggravate the hell out of me too! My mom likes to say or promise to do something, and the next day get all pissy about doing it. Like why the fuck did you offer in the first place? Like to buy our crib, but she wanted me to get a different one. And when I told her noo, that I had picked this one out for reasons, she instantly said "well I'm not buying it then." Ookay? I love my mom don't get me wrong, but she definitely has issues beyond my help.. sucks
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  • SassFrassSassFrass member
    cpage2211 said:

    I know exactly how you're feeling @MissRissx3 when it comes to the childish acts. I don't know who is more ridiculous, your grandma-in-law or my mother...

    The roles have always been reversed for my mother and I. I have always taken care of her and cleaned up her messes. I moved out when I was 17 with my now hubby. I couldn't take the drug and alcoholic binges that would go on anymore (I dealt with these since I was 13- at least). My mothers long time boyfriend has always been a heavy drinker, drug user and has been abusive (one time when he was beating her I jumped on his back to attempt to protect her and he threw me off of a porch and I landed on my head and ended up with a concussion). I needed to get out, so I did.

    In the most recent years, she has gotten better and we have had a lovely-sometimes rocky- relationship. If she decides that I "hurt her feelings" she blocks me on Fb and doesn't call or return my calls or texts. I've just put up with it because it's my Mother. last weekend (Easter) she came to dinner without my brother (that's another story in itself but he is 18 and is "the man" of the house and can make his own decisions). She threw around her digs and comments and everyone ignored them. When she left she wanted to know if she could bring some dinner to my brother-why?! He decided not to come! So my Grandmother made him two plates. My mother left, then called my grandmother and wanted to discuss the day and how her feelings were hurt, while a bunch of family was still there. My grandmother told her she'd call her back after we all left.

    After I left I get a phone call-the first thing she says to me is, "do I sound drunk?" Frankly? Yes, yes you do. She then wants to discuss what my hubby and I did to hurt her feelings. Are you fucking kidding me right now? I told her I had to have a stress test done on the babies heartbeat earlier in the week and I couldn't deal with her shit anymore and that she shouldn't drink anymore. She continued with her ranting not giving a care about what I had just said. She ended up hanging up on me eventually and then text me to say she wouldn't bother me anymore and goodbye.

    I ignored a text and some phone calls Monday because I had work, a Drs appointment and I came down with a nasty bug and didn't have the energy to talk to her and now she has unfriended me on Fb. Big whoop. I don't care. It's just aggravating that my mother acts like a spoiled 16 year old who throws tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. She doesn't work and is living off of loans from my grandmother since she was supposed to be starting a business. Seems to me, she should be grateful that my grandmother has done that, but she constantly bitches about that too!! Argghhhhh!!

    I know this got really fucking long and if you stopped reading, I understand and if you read all of this-I applaud you! There is so much back story and little details that I could literally write a novel. I just needed to get this out. I am 9 months pregnant and tired and don't need the stress she is causing me.

    OMG, we MUST be long lost sisters. My Mom is THE SAME way and she drives me nuts. I barely even talk to her anymore because I am just SICK of the shit. I have dealt with it my whole life and I just dont think that it is fair to my children through the same torture just so she  can be "grandma of the year" when she couldnt even be a mom! She hates that My 6yo knows exactly why she doesnt get to see her "Lovie" anymore, and that is because she does drugs and makes bad choices. Uhm, STOP DOING THOSE THINGS THEN! ugh! I feel you girl! 

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  • MissRissx3MissRissx3 member
    Why do Moms have to be so frustrating?!
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  • cpage2211cpage2211 member
    SassFrass said:

    cpage2211 said:

    I know exactly how you're feeling @MissRissx3 when it comes to the childish acts. I don't know who is more ridiculous, your grandma-in-law or my mother...

    The roles have always been reversed for my mother and I. I have always taken care of her and cleaned up her messes. I moved out when I was 17 with my now hubby. I couldn't take the drug and alcoholic binges that would go on anymore (I dealt with these since I was 13- at least). My mothers long time boyfriend has always been a heavy drinker, drug user and has been abusive (one time when he was beating her I jumped on his back to attempt to protect her and he threw me off of a porch and I landed on my head and ended up with a concussion). I needed to get out, so I did.

    In the most recent years, she has gotten better and we have had a lovely-sometimes rocky- relationship. If she decides that I "hurt her feelings" she blocks me on Fb and doesn't call or return my calls or texts. I've just put up with it because it's my Mother. last weekend (Easter) she came to dinner without my brother (that's another story in itself but he is 18 and is "the man" of the house and can make his own decisions). She threw around her digs and comments and everyone ignored them. When she left she wanted to know if she could bring some dinner to my brother-why?! He decided not to come! So my Grandmother made him two plates. My mother left, then called my grandmother and wanted to discuss the day and how her feelings were hurt, while a bunch of family was still there. My grandmother told her she'd call her back after we all left.

    After I left I get a phone call-the first thing she says to me is, "do I sound drunk?" Frankly? Yes, yes you do. She then wants to discuss what my hubby and I did to hurt her feelings. Are you fucking kidding me right now? I told her I had to have a stress test done on the babies heartbeat earlier in the week and I couldn't deal with her shit anymore and that she shouldn't drink anymore. She continued with her ranting not giving a care about what I had just said. She ended up hanging up on me eventually and then text me to say she wouldn't bother me anymore and goodbye.

    I ignored a text and some phone calls Monday because I had work, a Drs appointment and I came down with a nasty bug and didn't have the energy to talk to her and now she has unfriended me on Fb. Big whoop. I don't care. It's just aggravating that my mother acts like a spoiled 16 year old who throws tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants. She doesn't work and is living off of loans from my grandmother since she was supposed to be starting a business. Seems to me, she should be grateful that my grandmother has done that, but she constantly bitches about that too!! Argghhhhh!!

    I know this got really fucking long and if you stopped reading, I understand and if you read all of this-I applaud you! There is so much back story and little details that I could literally write a novel. I just needed to get this out. I am 9 months pregnant and tired and don't need the stress she is causing me.

    OMG, we MUST be long lost sisters. My Mom is THE SAME way and she drives me nuts. I barely even talk to her anymore because I am just SICK of the shit. I have dealt with it my whole life and I just dont think that it is fair to my children through the same torture just so she  can be "grandma of the year" when she couldnt even be a mom! She hates that My 6yo knows exactly why she doesnt get to see her "Lovie" anymore, and that is because she does drugs and makes bad choices. Uhm, STOP DOING THOSE THINGS THEN! ugh! I feel you girl! 
    She said to me recently "I feel like you think I may poor decisions" I replied " you do!!" It's baffling! Gahh!! Thanks for reading my novel though :)
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