guys POV

estefyp4 · March 2015

So I'm just over 8months pregnant and I feel like I have two pretty significant problems with my husband and so I'm posting here in the hopes of getting a little perspective as to whether I am being too emotional or if I'm right to feel like this way..

ok first problem this is our second pregnancy having a 2nd boy and my husband is now telling me that he has all rights over the name since I chose the 1st boys name (which is not true although I did 'find' the name it's something that I made sure he agreed upon other wise our 1st would have a different name) I tell him this kind of decisions is something we should agree on since he is obviously OUR son..besides the fact that he likes names like SirFrancis or Alize..(like the drink)

2nd problem .. my husband is a hard worker he is in the army and has long days at work which I totally understand..also he's not the most emotional guy out there when it comes to pregnancy and I don't expect him to be super involved through the pregnancy stage since I know he is a great dad and is involved more with an actual baby versus the belly so I've been ok with him not going to any of the doc appts but since induction day is around the corner I have 2 appts I absolutely want/need him to go to but his saying he can only make one.. I'm feeling this is bullshit since the reason he is telling me it's because there's a training starting on the day of 1st appt but it's not a training he is actually doing! His role in this training is a grader (basically giving the orders on the specific task other soldiers must do) so wtf does it matter if he is there first day or not!? It's not like they are going to cancel this training because he isn't there...

I know its long and thanks for reading and taking the time to respond.. I'm just frustrated!

polooo27 · March 2015

1st Problem: A name should be agreed upon by both people. Taking turns naming the kids is fine, but the other person still needs to agree to it. It sounds like he wants to name him something cool and isn't thinking much about his son's future as a productive adult with the names you listed. You have the right to feel this way.

2nd Problem: I'm not really for sure on this one. For me and I think most guys they would put their family first and try get the day off for the appointment. But I don't know much about military culture and he might be more tied up then you think. So I think you could feel this way, but with the caveat that it's possible there's nothing he can do.

Coltsdad · April 2015

Issue #1: You should have say in the name of your child, especially if he's going out on a limb with name choices. From what you said, it isn't like you went to your husband and said "This is baby #1's name", you asked for his agreement. The same courtesy should be extended your way as well, before your kid is named Pilot Inspector or some odd celebrity baby style name.

Issue #2: If your husband is the one giving the orders for the other soldiers, it sounds like his attendance is important given his role in the training. How are they going to be trained with no orders? I get that you want him there, but you guys have gone through this once before, and there is a 2nd appointment that you made it sound like he will be able to make where he can get his information (unless you go early). Push comes to shove, I'm sure he can get the information at the hospital before the induction gets underway. I'd probably give him benefit of the doubt on the training.

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