November 2015 Moms

Stay at home moms

any sahm's out there? This will be our second child, we have a 2.5 year old son and I feel like I'm missing out on so much working full time...part time could be an option eventually but I would love to stay home.


The thing is my husband and I are definitely relying on our two incomes to support our family. Was it hard making the transition to sahm? I just don't know how we would swing it cutting our income in half but I have read elsewhere that families just make it work, whether going down to one income is a choice or happens from job loss.

Any insight or tips? Thank you in advance!

Re: Stay at home moms

  • kmd91kmd91 member
    Well, I'm going to be a stay at home mom, though I'm currently a housewife so I guess that's not all that relevant in the whole going from two incomes to one situation. However, I watch children out of my home off and on, which is a slight supplemental income, but also something that I can continue to do once baby comes along. I actually know a few moms that do the whole home daycare thing to make it possible to stay home with their own children.
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  • I'm a full sahm.. and wife :D
    Thankfully my husband income is enough for us.. but now with a new baby on the way I know we will have to budget. Formula gets expensive.
    My "tips" would be buy
    1) buy diapers in bulk.
    We've done the math so any times and it's just better to buy them from Costco.
    2) coupons! We don't shop for clothes unless we have coupons from.
    3) meal planning also helps save a lot of money on food.
  • I'm a sahm. It was always the plan once kids came along and I wouldn't have it any other way! Like other posters have said, you just have to be smart with your money. I'm expecting #6 at the moment and through the years since kids came along, I've learned how to budget and stretch our money. We have a weekly budget for groceries so what helps me big time in this area is to make a weekly menu of healthy, yet budget-friendly meals. Amazingly, I manage to feed my family of 7 ppl for quite little actually! I also started making my own laundry soap (just like the Duggars lol!) when I was pregnant with my last child. Huge savings doing that!
    It really comes down to living within your means. It is very doable! You and your husband may need to sit down and decide what's important and what can you give up. Staying at home is so rewarding but it also means sacrificing some things (luxuries). We are debt free and I don't feel like me or my family is lacking anything.
    Be encouraged and all the best to you!
  • I work full time as a nurse, night shift so while I'm always "home" during the day to get my daughter off the bus, homework etc, I always feel like a zombie. It's pretty rough. I am really hoping in the next couple of years to be able to make the transition to SAHM. My husband just started his own business flipping houses, so if it takes off as we're hoping, it might just work in the not so distant future. I would love to be home with my children!
  • I will be once baby comes along!! My mother and both my older sisters are SAHMs...so, I know I'm in for a job, but I really wouldn't want it any other way for me :>
  • I do Mary Kay and will be doing that full time once the baby is here which will be nice since that means I won't have to leave my house but maybe doing something along those lines will help out if you really rely on 2 incomes..maybe that's an option for you :) (not promoting my business just giving you an idea)
  • I'm a SAHM and it is the most wonderful blessing. I was an assistant designer to a high end bridal gown designer for many years. I worked from home for almost a year when we moved and then when I found out I was expecting our first I started making baby blankets, burp cloths, etc for fun and ended up opening a shop on etsy. I was able to make money off of something I loved to do! It has grown so much in the last two years and now I make clothes, bags, and tons more. It's hard to balance working from home and getting orders done during nap times- but the little bit of extra money has been wonderful for our splurge and surprise account. It's a nice feeling knowing I'm contributing just a little bit (especially when I want that new pair of shoes
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt16037b.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
  • I was a sahm for 10 months and work part time now. Before you decide really consider your finances, what you will sacrifice, and so on. Maybe stick your income in savings a d see if its doable until LO arrives. My DH is a saint but that was a stressful 10 months for him. We made it but we had literally no extra money. We enjoy going on vacations, getting new cars, and having fun so it is best for us to have some of my income too. Everyone is different so whatever is best for you and your family is only up to you. Good luck with your decision.
    Husband and Wife 2010
    DD 12.2010
    TTC #2 Since Aug 2012
    DX PCOS 7.25.13
    Started Metformin 7.2013
    DH SA results 6.19.14 - Too few normal sperm
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    MMC 9/24/14, D&C 9/25/14 13w3d, Measured at 7w4d
     
    3.14.15 BFP #3 - EDD 11/11/15 based on LMP
  • I am a SAHM to an 18 months old and now another one on the way. We live in a very HCOL area and relied very much on my income as well as my husband's. We sacrifice a lot for me to stay home but its the best decision we ever made and we don't regret it for a second. 
    My advice would be, while you still work now , put your income in a savings account and try to live on your husband's income only for the next few months. This will give you an idea what "splurges" you need to cut and what changes to your lifestyle you need to make to afford it. You might decide you are not willing to change your lifestyle by that much or maybe it won't be feasible or maybe it will. At least you'll know.

    We stretch the dollar every way we can - hacks to lower our electric and water bills (like running laundry and dishwasher in off peak hours) , buying groceries on sale only, supplementing with some income on Elance etc. 
  • Try to pay off every so single piece of debt you have before making the leap. It helps to not have to worry about credit card bills. Also be comfortable with not getting extras all the time like getting nails done or eating out every week. The biggest thing that helped me was,couponing. If you learn to coupon it will change your life.
  • I'm a SAHM and honestly all the money in the world couldn't make me go back to work. As far as finances go it was a big shock to the system but some weird things happened that led up to it that turned out to be blessings in disguise. I had already dropped down to only working part time shortly before I got pregnant with my daughter. But even that part time income was going to be sorely missed. But we were on track to have my 2011 car paid off a few months before my due date which would help tremendously. But then of course the unexpected happened and my husbands income dropped pretty significantly. It was honestly bad enough that I couldn't afford to stay home like I'd planned if we continued on our same path. That wasn't an option for us so we sat down and figured out what we needed to sell. We kept my car, it was now paid off, since it was "family" friendly and my husband sold his awesome 2011 Ford F150 with all the bells and whistles and bought a bike....no, not a motorcycle, a bicycle. His truck payment alone made up a decent size chunk of what we were suddenly missing. He rode his bike to work except in extreme weather when I'd drive him. We also sold our 4-wheeler. We used all of the money we made to obviously be rid of the truck note but it also got rid of about 90% of our credit card debt (which was almost all from medical expenses associated with our IVF).



    Then we started following Dave Ramsey's plan. We have zero debt, other than our mortgage, and a comfortable emergency fund. We bought DH another truck, with cash! It's not as fancy but it's paid for! We have another 4-wheeler, also paid for! We follow a strict budget but it honestly doesn't feel "strict". It's amazing that losing a huge chunk of our income left us feeling like we'd actually gotten a raise when we sat down and evaluated how we were actually spending our money. DH's income is now more than it was before he took a huge paycut but we still follow the same principles with our money. We don't make a lot but we are able to make our money go further than many of our friends who make twice as much.


    But that's how we've made it work. We still go out to eat, once a week as a family and twice a month we do a date night. It's all in "the budget". Everything is cash only....well, not our bills like mortgage or electricity. But grocery, gasoline, fun money, etc. I tried couponing, it wasn't worth the time I put in honestly and I never found good coupons for fresh produce or meat, especially organic stuff so at least in our area it's a waste unless you don't mind living off of packaged processed foods. But some people have a knack for it and simply enjoy it, and if it saves money it's worth a try!


    So that's my two cents! Sit down and evaluate where your money is going, figure out what you can do without and what is absolutely necessary. Add up all your necessities and see what the total cost is...from there you'll know if you can survive on one income.


    [spoiler] My Blog: Grow Baby Grow

    BFP #1: 12/2009 m/c 1/2010 BFP #2: 6/2010 m/c 8/2010

    BFP #3: 10/2011 ectopic 11/2011 (right tube removed, learned left tube was probably nonfunctional due to scar tissue from infection after m/c)

    3 failed IUIs, IVF #1: 18R, 12M, 10F, 3 poor quality 5d embryos transferred= BFP #4!!!!!

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    First Ultrasound at 6w2d revealed two sacs, only one with a heartbeat

    LK arrived after 42 weeks on August 14, 2013! Beautiful, healthy, and happy!

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    First Ultrasound at 5w1d showed a miracle UTE baby! And right ovary ovulation to left fallopian tube.

    JD arrived at 38 weeks on October 20, 2015.

    TTC #3: Since October 2017. BFP #6 July 2, 2018 EDD: March 16, 2019 [/spoiler]


  • I have been a stay at home mother since my oldest had surgery when he was just 5 years old (he's now 13). I was a single mom at the time and I worked 3 jobs to be able to save enough money to be home with him during his recovery. It was during that time that I knew I wanted to be home full time with all my children. We're now expecting our fourth and I am still loving being home with our kids (we also homeschool!). My husband works so hard to make this life possible for us, and thankfully raising a family on one income hasn't been a struggle for us. It's definitely doable once you work out a budget and set your priorities accordingly. It's not for everyone, and it's not always the best fit for every family, but for us it's been an incredible blessing!
  • I was working full time nights as a nurse and my husband works hours during the day in the army. Most weeks we would only see each other maybe 2 days in passing. This started to put a huge strain on our relationship. When I found I was pregnant we knew things would have to change. Luckily I just accepted a job where I will only work 1 shift a week during the day. I know it will be a little rough at first but its best for our family
  • I was a full time 911 dispatch supervisor when I got pg with my son. My husband agreed I could go back to work part time to help with finances and I did. When my son was about 3 I started to get frustrated that I was missing things and my husband (a pastor) was having a hard time scheduling around me. And with a job at 911 you kind of have to be on call all the time if someone calls out. So we decided it was time to quit. It has been rough, but I second what these ladies are saying. Coupon, cook meals, but used, and Dave Ramsey is a genius!
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