Baby shower at restaurants

jlpcdt2015 · April 2015

My sister, mom, and bf mom are throwing my baby shower. My sister told me it will be held at Buffalo wild wings. She told me that they will only pay for a couple of trays of wings and if anyone wants anything else to eat they would have to pay for it themselves. Is that ok for proper baby shower etiquette? The shower will be at 530pm

rrcameron21 · April 2015

Oh wow. Are they going to put that on the invite? And Buffalo Wild Wings? For a baby shower? I mean... These people are coming to "shower" you with gifts... They shouldn't have to pay for their own food. I would say this is not proper baby shower etiquette.

taboullio84 · April 2015

Umm as long as it's enough food...I seen this before .

laurendutch · April 2015

Our Buffalo Wild Wings are super noisy! Plus, isn't it kind of a sports bar/pub type feel? It would be a little different than say Olive Garden. And yeah, I don't know how they will address only paying for so much.

Is there a clubhouse that you can rent or borrow? Maybe order food in...like a 6 ft sub?

dancegurl1118 · April 2015

No...no that is not proper shower etiquette. If I were your guests and showed up to that I would be really pissed. It's totally ok to be at a restaurant, not ok to not be provided with adequate refreshments and food especially at 5:30. Can you suggest a lunch time shower for lighter fare, or at someone's house with homemade food? Personally I would not be associated with a shower treating my guests like that, because it would reflect poorly on me irregardless of who is "hosting" (I'm using that term loosely).

jlpcdt2015 · April 2015

When they told me what was planned I nicely said I wasn't sure that's proper etiquette and they said there was nothing I could do cause that's what they decided and they sent out invitations already. I'm thankful for them giving me a shower I just don't want my friends to be mad or think it's tacky.

tcodoner · April 2015

I understand where you are coming from in not wanting to overstep, it's a blessing to have people care enough to throw you a shower. However, I'm afraid what you are describing sounds like it is going to be extremely tacky and it seems that your "hosts" want the kudos and bragging rights of having thrown you a shower without putting any actual effort or thought into it. Let us know how it goes, I'm hoping it's much more than what you've been told.

MrsWiggleWaggle · April 2015

Honestly if it were me and they told me too bad like your hosts did, I would call the restaurant to confirm the arrangements. As in if they didn't order enough food...put down my credit card and order more, ask about renting out a full section for privacy etc. but that's just me and it'd be easier to just make it right myself.

I've done this before and the host got a lot of credit for my secondary work. Hosts didn't even notice that more food/space had been arranged. But I didn't care

jlpcdt2015 · April 2015

@MrsWiggleWaggle that is a really good idea. Thanks I think I may just do that. I want to make sure my guest are taken care of. It's the least I could do.

klkonwi · April 2015

We are throwing a "surprise sprinkle" for a friend at Pizza Hut..... Lol classy I know but she absolutely dies for a Pizza Hut fix this pregnancy so..... The main host is ordering a "few" pizzas ..... Kind of makes me nervous....

ElRuby · April 2015

All my showers have been at restaurants and the guests were provided a proper meal and drinks... It is super tacky to expect guests to buy their own food when they are only there to buy you presents...so hopefully the trays are enough or your hosts should rethink the venue and do it somewhere they can afford to provide food, even if that means finger foods at home.

KaLikeAWind · April 2015

The location is whatever for me - I could be down with attending a shower at BWW, and I wouldn't think strangely of the venue at all. In fact, I'd probably find a seat with a view of some hockey or baseball, but that's just me. The food tho - that is a bit of a thing. At 530 most people are just getting off of work, they are hungry, and that's really close to a traditional mealtime. I would also call and see just how much food is 'a couple of trays of wings'. I mean, I'm pregnant now so I have a hugely increased appetite, but I can put away 12 wings in a sitting. And I may go back for more pickings after a little while. Maybe arrange to have some of the appetizers (hello artichoke dip!) also available so people can pre-snack on those and then officially eat the wings.

karaelaine1991 · April 2015

I don't think I would have a problem with Buffalo Wild Wings as long as it was in a closed off section, although a private room would definitely be preferable. As for the food question, I agree with PP. If I were a guest, given the time of the shower, I would be expecting to eat the equivalent of a full meal... That's a heck of a lot of appetizers. If invitations have been sent out then there's not much you can do about the location or the time but I agree with PP that giving the restaurant your credit card information would be good - totally sucks for you though, that's going to wind up being a huge bill.

HoosOnFirst · April 2015

My shower is at a restaurant but my hosts did get a separate room and are feeding folks buffet style. I agree that guests may be a little miffed if there's not enough food provided. Ye, they are there to celebrate you but they are also taking time out of their schedules and some may be traveling long distances. My hosts are not covering alcohol for guests and I'm feeling nervous about even that and considering throwing down a credit card for a round for everyone! Cuz let's be honest, who finds showers that fun?

At the end of the day though, realize that the guests would certainly not think you are responsible for if it's not perfect!

Also, I love Buffalo Wild Wings. I bet a shower there could be fun!

ElRuby · April 2015

hoodoll82 said:
My shower is at a restaurant but my hosts did get a separate room and are feeding folks buffet style. I agree that guests may be a little miffed if there's not enough food provided. Ye, they are there to celebrate you but they are also taking time out of their schedules and some may be traveling long distances. My hosts are not covering alcohol for guests and I'm feeling nervous about even that and considering throwing down a credit card for a round for everyone! Cuz let's be honest, who finds showers that fun?

At the end of the day though, realize that the guests would certainly not think you are responsible for if it's not perfect!

Also, I love Buffalo Wild Wings. I bet a shower there could be fun!

I think especially for baby showers alcohol is not necessary so I wouldn't worry about that!

HoosOnFirst · April 2015

ElRuby said:

hoodoll82 said:
My shower is at a restaurant but my hosts did get a separate room and are feeding folks buffet style. I agree that guests may be a little miffed if there's not enough food provided. Ye, they are there to celebrate you but they are also taking time out of their schedules and some may be traveling long distances. My hosts are not covering alcohol for guests and I'm feeling nervous about even that and considering throwing down a credit card for a round for everyone! Cuz let's be honest, who finds showers that fun?

At the end of the day though, realize that the guests would certainly not think you are responsible for if it's not perfect!

Also, I love Buffalo Wild Wings. I bet a shower there could be fun!
I think especially for baby showers alcohol is not necessary so I wouldn't worry about that!

Heh, I love my friends, but I have always been thankful to have adult beverages available at these things! Yeah I'm not too concerned, people can buy drinks if they wish and I'll pass zero judgment

jlpcdt2015 · April 2015

Well I just want to thank all you lovely ladies for yall feedback. I talked to my boyfriend and he assures me that we will make sure everyone gets plenty of food. Even if that means paying out of our own pocket. He said our friends will be spending money on gifts for our lo the least we can do is make sure they are well fed and taken care of.

laurendutch · April 2015

I'm pretty sure that BWW caters, maybe you can get a head count before and add some of the catered meals.

ksimo6 · April 2015

Have to agree with other posters, if they are hosting at a restaurant, they should be ordering enough food to feed them all.

I am hosting a shower for a grind at the end of the month at a restaurant and full intend to pick up the entire tab for food. It's the right thing to do!

Katerina&Baby · April 2015

I am completely horrified - a "couple of trays of wings" for a 5:30 shower? People will rightfully expect to be fed dinner and will probably come hungry. Inviting people to a party (especially one where they will be bringing a gift) and expecting them to pay for their own food and beverages is just not right. I really feel for you, OP - I wouldn't be happy about this at all. Like PPs have mentioned, I would probably bite the bullet and arrange for additional food and beverages to be served on my card.

ElRuby · April 2015

And on a side note... Wings are really a specific food preference and not everyone will be into eating them so it's really important to offer a variety.

karaelaine1991 · April 2015

ElRuby said:
And on a side note... Wings are really a specific food preference and not everyone will be into eating them so it's really important to offer a variety.

This is a really good point, I hadn't even thought of it but yeah, case in point, I am not a fan of wings! As a guest I would be annoyed.

megmama · April 2015

They should have it from 3-5 or something like that, people will only expect light appetizers etc. If it's not too late to change it, I would order more food, 5:30 is considered dinner time. You will also need to make sure you pay for drinks, no matter what time it is. People are bringing you gifts, you should always provide the refreshments and food.

karaelaine1991 · April 2015

megmama said:
They should have it from 3-5 or something like that, people will only expect light appetizers etc. If it's not too late to change it, I would order more food, 5:30 is considered dinner time. You will also need to make sure you pay for drinks, no matter what time it is. People are bringing you gifts, you should always provide the refreshments and food.

This is a good idea but unfortunately OP mentioned that invitations have already been mailed... so date and time are set in stone at this point.

katyertl · April 2015

I agree with most the ladies above but don't think you should have to feel obligated to pay for alcoholic drinks. I'd order pitchers of soda, ice tea, lemonade, etc. but wouldn't expect a host to pay for any alcoholic drinks if I attended a party

laurendutch · April 2015

Does anyone else think its a little strange to host a BABY shower at a sports bar? Especially a place known for its beer and wings? When they guest of honor can not even indulge in the beer?

karaelaine1991 · April 2015

laurendutch said:
Does anyone else think its a little strange to host a BABY shower at a sports bar? Especially a place known for its beer and wings? When they guest of honor can not even indulge in the beer?

Strange, yes, but if OP is into sports and wings, or if BBW is her favorite restaurant, I can understand why her mom and sisters would pick it. But the whole only ordering wings for guests scenario is definitely not good!

KaLikeAWind · April 2015

karaelaine1991 said:

laurendutch said:
Does anyone else think its a little strange to host a BABY shower at a sports bar? Especially a place known for its beer and wings? When they guest of honor can not even indulge in the beer?
Strange, yes, but if OP is into sports and wings, or if BBW is her favorite restaurant, I can understand why her mom and sisters would pick it. But the whole only ordering wings for guests scenario is definitely not good!

Agreed. I'm into sports and most of my friends were made either at work or around sporting events. Or, beer. So if this were my shower my pals and I would be quite comfortable. I'd be sad about missing out on the beer for myself, but happy that we all got to hang out while they had a few and eat some game grub.
Hopefully the OP feels the way and is into sports or its one of her fav places to eat.

jlpcdt2015 · April 2015

All my friends and myself included are huge sports fans and I totally don't mind if ppl drink. I'm hoping the games being shown that night will take a little focus off of me lol. I'm weird and I hate being center of attention. Plus it's a coed shower so it will give the guys something to do and talk about.

taboullio84 · April 2015

https://www.cateringmenuprices.com/buffalo-wild-wings-catering-prices/

It says how many you should get per person with price. And what sides they offer. This is catering.. But gives you an idea of how much you might need per person

jlpcdt2015 · April 2015

@taboullio84 thanks for the link. I'll definitely have a look at it!

KaLikeAWind · April 2015

jlpcdt2015 said:
All my friends and myself included are huge sports fans and I totally don't mind if ppl drink. I'm hoping the games being shown that night will take a little focus off of me lol. I'm weird and I hate being center of attention. Plus it's a coed shower so it will give the guys something to do and talk about.

End of April, beginning of May to somewhat the middle of May is both hockey and basketball playoffs. And there's always baseball somewhere. This actually sounds like fun, other than your food quandary. Which I think will eventually work out fine. Have fun!

HoosOnFirst · April 2015

laurendutch said:
Does anyone else think its a little strange to host a BABY shower at a sports bar? Especially a place known for its beer and wings? When they guest of honor can not even indulge in the beer?

Not me lol! My fam considered hosting at a brewery and I think that would have been cool. I'm not a huge fan of being the center of attention so a fun venue was always good in my book.

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