When should you have your baby shower?

babymazzei · April 2015

So I'm a FTM here. My plan is for my mom to have my baby shower late August, or early September before the baby is born. My SIL is due in July and insists on having her baby shower after she delivers and thinks I'm dumb for wanting it before. I understand that people want to see the baby, but I suspect if they're getting an invite to your shower, they should be close enough to you to be able to come over and meet the baby afterwards. My reasoning for wanting the shower before is to actually receive things we NEED. Don't get me wrong, we will be grateful for any gifts we receive! However, if I were to have the shower afterwards, I would buy everything we needed before the baby was born. I'm a planner and need to feel prepared to stay calm lol. I feel like that would leave people wondering what to buy since you would already have it all. What are your thoughts?!

momming247 · April 2015

I totally agree! You want to buy things and receive items BEFORE the baby I born. Then in the last week's you can pick up what you don't have. I don't understand the reasoning for a shower after birth but I'm sure plenty of people do it and can enlighten me.

babymazzei · April 2015

mariangie7 said:
I totally agree! You want to buy things and receive items BEFORE the baby I born. Then in the last week's you can pick up what you don't have. I don't understand the reasoning for a shower after birth but I'm sure plenty of people do it and can enlighten me.

Exactly!! Plus I feel like I would be way to exhausted to handle that many people at once. I'd much rather have several, quiet one-on-one meet and greets. People have their reasons though!

Birdee212 · April 2015

Wouldn't a shower after the baby is born technically be just a birthday party?

I've never heard of having a shower after the birth.

babymazzei · April 2015

Birdee212 said:
Wouldn't a shower after the baby is born technically be just a birthday party?

I've never heard of having a shower after the birth.

Thank you! I'm so glad I made this post because I thought it was so bizarre to have it afterwards! But a few people I know were making it out as if I was the weird one for wanting it before. Maybe its a Canadian thing haha.

ClaireBear90 · April 2015

Birdee212 said:
Wouldn't a shower after the baby is born technically be just a birthday party?

I've never heard of having a shower after the birth.

This. I've never even heard of having a shower after the birth either. I've heard of having a "sip and see" or "meet the baby" gathering, but not a shower. You don't often get a say in when your shower is though. Mine was around 36 weeks and I would have preferred it a little sooner, to be honest, but it wasn't my decision.

If you have any say in the matter, I'd request that the shower be hosted early in the third trimester. Everyone wants to see your beautiful bump

but you don't want to be huge and uncomfortable or too close to going into labor!

miss_nix · April 2015

In my family, we don't do showers before the baby is born. I'm not totally sure why... Maybe it's a superstitious thing? Either way, that's how it has always been in our family, and we will be waiting until after the little one arrives. For the first few weeks, you really don't need a lot other than a small selection of clothes, and the typical gear like the car seat, a place for them to sleep, etc. The shower gifts in our family are usually things that the baby doesn't need for a month or so anyway.

Maybe it is a Canadian thing

danixbanani24 · April 2015

ClaireBear90 said:

Birdee212 said:
Wouldn't a shower after the baby is born technically be just a birthday party?

I've never heard of having a shower after the birth.
This. I've never even heard of having a shower after the birth either. I've heard of having a "sip and see" or "meet the baby" gathering, but not a shower. You don't often get a say in when your shower is though. Mine was around 36 weeks and I would have preferred it a little sooner, to be honest, but it wasn't my decision.

If you have any say in the matter, I'd request that the shower be hosted early in the third trimester. Everyone wants to see your beautiful bump but you don't want to be huge and uncomfortable or too close to going into labor!

Typically, Jewish families do not shower a mother/baby before it is born. I believe it is mostly a "bad luck" thing. All of my Jewish friends have had their showers after baby is born. I believe their parents/family will buy some things like the furniture and what not but they won't throw a party. I'm not really sure of the logistics lol

Birdee212 · April 2015

^^Interesting! I never knew that! Makes more sense that it's a superstition thing. Different traditions are fascinating!

JaqiDec04 · April 2015

We do our baby showers before. It was weeks before I would have felt comfortable packing up me and the baby for a 3-4 hour outing. Not to mention, all those people touching your new born baby. It sounds exhausting.

mrscookiequeen · April 2015

I dont think i would want to do a shower once the baby is born... babies eat and sleep for like the first 3 months so would you want a bunch of people watching baby sleep or eat while they party? Also.. all those germs in your house with a new baby. I vote no. Im having my shower in august because in sept so many people are in mommy mode and getting kids back to school and stuff. Plus i want to enjoy it and not be massively sized in all the pics lol.

palomboemily · April 2015

That's honestly the first time I've heard of someone wanting to have a shower after the baby is born. Interesting thought, but personally it makes way more sense to have one before. Do what will make you most happy : )

Chippercjm · April 2015

A lot of people do a "sip and see" baby party after baby is born to introduce friends to baby a few months after delivery. Baby showers have always been before baby. Just a thought for your SIL. Do what YOU want for YOU!

cnorth82 · April 2015

I thought it's usually at 7 months. Late enough that everything is pretty much a sure thing and early enough if complications cause a preemie birth. Plus, you're probably definitely showing by then so pics won't look weird if it was earlier and you weren't showing.

mrsdobbie · April 2015

miss_nix said:
In my family, we don't do showers before the baby is born. I'm not totally sure why... Maybe it's a superstitious thing? Either way, that's how it has always been in our family, and we will be waiting until after the little one arrives. For the first few weeks, you really don't need a lot other than a small selection of clothes, and the typical gear like the car seat, a place for them to sleep, etc. The shower gifts in our family are usually things that the baby doesn't need for a month or so anyway.

Maybe it is a Canadian thing

I think it may be a candian thing. I'm canadian and have never been to a shower before the baby was born. But I am hoping that mine is thrown before the baby arrives! Also I wouldn't want the shower for the first few weeks and then in November people are gonna start having colds and I don't want them passing all their germs to my baby! They can come see it in small groups afterwards. That way I can screen them for colds...and hand them Purell and a mask before I hand them my baby...if only this was socially acceptable to do! :P

yoopermom824 · April 2015

Being a second time mom and having a baby shower with DD, I couldn't handle the thought of having a shower after the baby comes. It's a stressful, scary time (everything's so NEW!!) and having a shower would just put added stress on me. I'm honestly glad I won't be having a shower for LO because I hate being the center of attention, haha!

babymazzei · April 2015

@mrsdobbie I really think it is! I'm from Calgary and people think I'm the weird one for wanting it before haha. So many people have been having them afterwards! This thread made me feel a lot better about it haha. And it helps that my mom will be planning it so I do have some say lol.

sidneymich · April 2015

well the reason I will be having a baby shower after the baby is well 2 things 1. It's bad luck (I am aware superstition isn't really my thing either but...) I had a few things I did with my wedding there were strictly to do with the 'JuJu'. It's an awful way to the think about it but there is always that possibility of losing your child (god forbid) in child birth or near the end of pregnancy. Then you'd have all these gifts to torment you, as well the confusion over whether or not to return them to the people that bought them. The 2. and much less morbid reason is it's a party for the baby not for me. If the baby hasn't arrived yet it's just about me, they touch my belly, they do things with me. People want to hold the baby and play and if you don't know what you're having they want to buy gender specific gifts etc...

LittleRocket · April 2015

So interesting! I didn't know about that Canadian custom! I'm culturally Jewish, and yes, there is a tradition related to not bringing any baby items in the house before the baby is born. Some people get around it by having a baby shower at someone else's house (like a relative) and leaving the items there until the baby is born. I'll do mine before the baby is born. My place is so small & I really want to get that furniture in and figure out how everything will fit.

miss_nix · April 2015

@babymazzei I'm from Calgary too! I guess that confirms it, totally a Canadian thing!

deanna1313 · April 2015

Makes no sense afterwards! I had mine almost two months before so I could have everything ready. You not only need things, but you need to be prepared and organized. It's so hard with a new baby home let alone having loads of stuff to organize and wash!

BooBerry137 · April 2015

deanna1313 said:
Makes no sense afterwards! I had mine almost two months before so I could have everything ready. You not only need things, but you need to be prepared and organized. It's so hard with a new baby home let alone having loads of stuff to organize and wash!

Babies need very little in the beginning. And Not everyone relies on a shower to provide them with necessities.

BbyCastillo · April 2015

Def before baby is born!!!

It's fun makes things easier for us mommies & we can wash the smaller clothes to have ready for baby to wear once we come home with them! Lol

LaurenNK · April 2015

I would definitely do it before. I plan to, my sister did, it was nice for her to get a lot of the basics before baby came.
This time around we're planning a sip&see type event. She just had her second baby, a girl (first was a boy), so they have the basics. If people choose to bring gifts when they meet baby it will be all the fun girly stuff that they didn't already have.

I think doing it a few months after birth makes sense if it's a second child and you don't want/need all the traditional to-do of a regular shower.

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