I can't stand my boyfriend

Re: I can't stand my boyfriend

• GirlOnTheBeach member

  April 2015

  You didn't really put in any examples or details but it sounds like maybe you should have learned more about his true nature before having a child. Patience and communication will go a long way, but not if you aren't both working on it (or willing to work on it).

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• kat+1 member

  April 2015 edited April 2015

  My DH and I had this with our first. The honeymoon of the pregnancy is over now your going to have to work at it. Your hormones and his male nature are going to put you at odds. He is a provider it's His nature to worry about how he will take care of you both. Even when men don't know that's what they are doing they feel the feelings... As women we start to draw inwards and remover our selves from social situations so that we can protect our and the baby's life. My midwife said to this in a primal way... Cave man or monkey way. Males hunt and gather and mothers care and protect the offspring.
  
  Give it time it should get better and the just wait till you are holding your little one this will be a distant memory.
  
  But you do need to talk to you partner and tell him how you are feeling.

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• Egambino member

  April 2015

  A wise man once told me "Love is only sometimes a feeling; it is always a responsibility."

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• jesicabrennan member

  April 2015

  The first year of my child's life was the worst year of my marriage to date. It might seem blissful to be bringing a life into the world together but really it's a lot of hormones and sleeplessness and it's HARD! I highly suggest some counseling or talking or something before baby gets here to figure out if you want to be together because after baby comes is not a good time to make big decisions!

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• bpwife&mama member

  April 2015

  I agree with PP. My marriage was tested considerably he first year my son was born. The excitement can wear off a bit and reality sinks in. I

  
  
  

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• cosplaymom member

  April 2015

  Don't let a rough patch ruin the relationship if this is your baby's father. Get some counseling, talk, figure out if adjustments need to be made to keep the peace, discuss responsibilities...
  
  Now that you are in more of a committed relationship (babies mean commitment!) you should really try to make an effort to stick together, unless he turns abusive or disloyal. You shouldn't just dump him when things get hard, like you might with a boyfriend that doesn't measure up. He is more than just a boyfriend now if you have a child in the picture.

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• julie1445 member

  April 2015

  My husband and i have been through this with our now 3rd pregnancy each time, and again when each child was about a month old. Its hard, it will test your relationship but remember hormones are a bitch, you cant be your usual self since you cant drink, are too tired or sore all the time and lets face it... Guys dont know what we go through (unless you have one if the very few who actually "get it") its a bad combo but remember as hard as it is things will get back in place. Dont leave him unless he is doing something really bad or harmful. Im about to get in a fight with my husband. Im waiting for him to get home, we've been fighting alot lately so i thought getting him a bottle of wine and having a romantic evening cuddling and watching movies once the kids were in bed was a good im sorry move, he was hungry after finishing the wine and wanted chicken wings which we dont have so i told him to call his friend, orderskme wings and have 1-2 beers then come back home so we could finish our night, 3 hours later and wasted he is making his way back home.. Im pissed, we'll fight as usual for the same reasons as always while im pregnant. And he is a great guy 99% of the time. So your not alone, just remember to breath and pick your battles (says the person who is about to freak out on her husband who wojldnt normally freak out when not pregnant about this)

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• katiejzaz member

  April 2015

  Maybe your boyfriend really is a class A douche bag. Maybe your hormones are going absolutely bonkers. Actually, it's certain that your hormones are going bonkers. Take a few deep breaths. Men will never know and never understand what it is like to be pregnant. My husband was a gem with our first pregnancy. But I didn't have any crazy cravings or anything. I don't think he would have gone to the store to get me watermelon at 3:00am. BUT!!! That pregnancy was also very stereotypical. I gained less than 20 pounds and was exercising everyday (which was my stress release) and we had sex ALL THE TIME!! This 2nd pregnancy, I have a serious complication that makes me a high risk pregnancy, and I'm in so much pain that sex is not on my radar. I am grumpy - I don't have exercise for a stress release, I have a three year old who is beyond terrible, I am in a ton of pain with no relief. And my husband is grumpy - he has to pick up all of my slack and doesn't even get rewarded with sex (his stress release). We are really miserable this pregnancy. Look at it from your boyfriend's perspective... Are you as lovely, friendly, intimate, caring, patient, understanding as before you got pregnant? There are so many things running through the father's mind. How will he provide? How will the dynamic of having a baby impact your relationship? How will you fit in sex - I am mentioning sex a lot. But men truly function off of it. How will you find time for each other? How will you afford date nights? Does he want to settle down or is having the baby forcing him to?

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• Lovingmy2kids member

  April 2015

  My boyfriend the same way. I stay STRESSED out over it. He doesn't think and put my feelings before his. It's stressful not having someone to be there for you. I'm thinking about leaving him. I can't take it an

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• tylery member

  April 2015

  My fiancé is the SAME. We're "young parents" (he's 21 and I'm 22). So I've been hauling butt to save my money, finish up school, and just recently got a new job. He on the other hand has done almost nothing differently and back lashes on me when I tell him he needs to help me out here! Being pregnant is seriously a huge responsibility for us mommas-to-be and men just DONT GET IT.
  IF your boyfriend isn't helping you out and you feel stressed out by his nonchalant or "douchey" attitude, then tell him how you feel and go ahead and take that break to just cool off. Yeah it sucks thinking to separate, but it's better to just take a day or a few days away from him so you can enjoy your baby and your pregnancy. I'm not gonna give you the "hope" that he will change and be nice after your baby is born, because some men just don't. So embrace your pregnancy for you and your baby! If he wants to be there, then he'll see that you're edging him out until he can be nicer and supportive during the whole thing. Seriously, us pregnant ladies don't deserve this in general, but during pregnancy we definitely don't need the BS! Haha.

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• karmincorn member

  April 2015

  I really don't mean this disrespectfully but, it is supposed to be a wonderful and exciting time, if you were BOTH ready. Did you guys even know you wanted kids? What about together? I don't know you personally, so I am NOT judging, just don't feel like you have to stay with someone because you're pregnant, and if you don't feel like that truly deep down that that's what you're doing, then you guys can work it out by talking mutually. Not heated, not in a "your his mom" way and, same on his end, just a nice mutual these are my issues, and if you and he can't do that... How are you supposed to be prents together? I hope it works out because pregnancy is already stressful and I wish no woman has to feel alone in it.

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• Dee277 member

  April 2015

  Thank you so much! I think it's the stress of it all for him acting out..he just lost his job also. I'm trying to be supportive

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