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October 2015 Moms
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Social media

KyrBo1986KyrBo1986 member
in October 2015 Moms
Anyone else NOT sharing their news on social media? Maybe it's just me but there are people in my life that I don't want to know (for whatever reason) and as proud and excited as I am... I would like to keep it that way. I live in a small town and people LOVE to gossip so I'm keeping it "quiet" as long as possible.
Please tell me I'm not the only one.
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Re: Social media

  • gabrielafrnqyepezgabrielafrnqyepez member
    I don't have a social media account I applaud you for keeping this off of there so many people feel the need to run to social media every time something happens in their life. I have seen "mean girls" wish bad upon expecting mommies and its just not nice, people are envious and all that in my opinion in one way or another can transfer to mommy n baby ...mb I am paranoyed but I don't even want to go out in my neighborhood because of that I take my kids to private parks where I feel safe and its kinda funny because I don't so much worry about strangers I more wortry about those "close" to me ...it's sad lolzz this pregnancy has made me see peoples trtu colors and they aren't the best.





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  • leah665leah665 member
    I have a large spread out extended family, so facebook is what I use to keep in touch and know what's going on in their lives. I'm planning on sending a private message to family and close friends to let them know after my 12-week appointment.

    I'm not a big facebook poster. I mainly lurk on it and see what my family is doing.

    I applaud your decision though. You shouldn't feel pressured to broadcast your special news on social media.
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  • aah1013aah1013 member
    I'm not posting on fb this time around. We posted at 16 weeks with our first. We've had a really hard time getting pregnant this time, between ivf and 2 miscarriages, it's been a bad 18+ months. I suffered some depression as a result and found that social media only made me feel worse. Seeing pregnancy announcements and updates was really hard for me to handle. I ended up giving up fb for about 3-4 months. I feel like I wouldn't want to cause that grief for someone else who may be suffering in silence. I'm not saying that women shouldn't celebrate their pregnancies, but having been on the other side, I am choosing to remain quiet about our pregnancy. We're announcing to those who should know either in person, by phone, or email.
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  • amberterry87amberterry87 member
    Hubby and I deleted all our social media accounts for good last year when our baby girl was about 6 months! I found it creepy how everyone knew everything about her before meeting her. It's seriously the best thing we ever did! So not many people (other than really close family as friends) know we are even pregnant again. And they probably won't know until I run into them with 2 babies in the supermarket. It makes life so much more simple and catching up with people is so interesting when they don't already know everything off Facebook! But each to their own :) it's good you don't feel pressured to share it with everyone :)
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  • nadivalenzuelanadivalenzuela member
    My husband and I are not sharing anything on social media. I have told the people I want, but dont want everybody to know about it. I was thinking I was the only one doing this. Now I'm glad to know I'm not the only one.
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  • MirandaC1984MirandaC1984 member
    We probably won't until very late in the pregnancy. My husband wants to wait to tell his family until July because they live several states away and he wants to tell them in  person and we won't be visiting until then. We don't want to spread the news to everyone until all of our family members know. 
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  • jlculpepsjlculpeps member
    I won't be sharing on social media either! I definitely felt like I was the only one, so it's good to see I'm not! People important to me know, and that's all that matters.
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  • jmelodijmelodi member
    This is my first and not doing a public reveal. Will msg close friends and family. I MIGHT post a belly pic closer to my due date... I like my privacy :)
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  • mommygrams0730mommygrams0730 member
    Amazing450 said:

    I didn't share anything until the birth last time. The responses were kinda funny because no one knew I was pregnant. Then suddenly I had a baby.

    This was us too last time, we just announced when he was born. I'm not sure what we'll do this time. Most likely our last (#4) but I'm not huge on announcements.


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  • rhiannonbacarhiannonbaca member
    We aren't making any official announcements on social media but we aren't necessarily avoiding the topic either. If I happen to be tagged in a picture with my belly or if someone leaves me a comment about me being pregnant, that's fine with me. Anyone close in my life already knows, so I don't feel the need to make a social media announcement. I also don't have extended family/friends that connects with me solely through social media or I may handle it differently. :)
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  • tpete12tpete12 member
    I am leaving our news off of social media as well. Our last pregnancy ended with a miscarriage at 22 weeks and I have a fear that it will happen again. The less people that know I am pregnant, the less amount of people I have to tell if something does go wrong with this pregnancy.
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  • babealertzbabealertz member
    I'm not planning to post anything about my pregnancy on social media. The people whom I want to know already know! I'll make announcements when the baby is born.

    With all the weddings and social events that will take place this summer, there is a good chance I will be tagged in a photo looking very pregnant and then have to explain myself.
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  • jenspeakejenspeake member
    edited April 2015
    I don't mind it...it is just those people that post every other hour how bad they are feeling, or hash tagging their status #pregnancy problems, or complaining that their partner isn't being nice today, etc.  If/When I do post something it will maybe be an announcement and bump pic here and there.  That's it!
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  • jham201jham201 member
    I am avoiding social media too.  In fact, I am going to ask our families to keep it off as well, at least for the time being.  I want to be able to tell people in person and have that exciting moment instead of them reading about it online before I get the chance.  I also don't love the idea of it getting around to people I barely know.  This is far too important and special to me to share in that way..it seems to impersonal.  
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  • vamomtobevamomtobe member
    With our first, someone posted a picture of me with a bump and that let the cat out of the bag. I'm with you on not broadcasting personal news on Facebook. I'm pretty private. definitely no pictures of my uterus, nope.
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  • VallieS86VallieS86 member
    We plan on doing an announcement after we announce to our families on Mother's Day. A few friends know already but since it's our first it's hard to keep it to ourselves so I'm excited to do an announcement on fb.
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  • Wigglesx2Wigglesx2 member
    I don't want to but my husband does. I am definitely never posting our child online though.
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  • erinboehmeerinboehme member
    I will do a birth announcement and that's it. I have far too many friends with infertility issues and I have dealt with them as well and know the sting of every pregnancy announcement, Facebook post whining about pregnancy, questions about baby gear, and finally the big birth announcement. I want my friends to know I had a baby without rubbing it in their faces.
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  • mkross123mkross123 member
    I will be posting. Close friends and family know, and we will let another round of friend and family know once we are cleared after our US next week. The people I have on FB are friends, distant family, etc. from near to far who are kind and friendly, but I would not be telling them personally. I live in a small city (honestly more a town), and I would prefer to get the news out ahead of time to save myself from people looking at me and wondering if I am pregnant, and then having the same conversation or putting people in the position of asking for months upon months. Beyond close family and friends I feel like an in-person announcement for old friends or acquaintances demands immediate attention and response. I figure this way those who want to talk to me about it can choose to, and those who do not do not and won't be put in the position of being on the spot by me rolling up with my cart and big belly in the grocery store.

    I will say I do not like being the focus of attention. I HATED being engaged and being a bride and felt the same about annoucing that repeatedly to people, so it could just be how I am as a person. 
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  • vamomtobevamomtobe member
    VallieS86 said:

    I guess my question is to those who say they're against posting on fb because they don't want people to "be mean", or have people in their lives that they don't want to know, why are you friends with them if you don't want them to know what's going on with your life. You can post things that only goes to friends. Or... Delete people? I have relatives that are out of state that I don't see often that I want to share my joy with, on Facebook.

    There are ways to limit who sees your posts, but if there's someone important to me I want to share the news with, I pick up the phone and call them.  It's something I want to share personally, you know?  I share pictures of my son on facebook all the time, but something as big as announcing a baby is on the way isn't something I want people to find out about scrolling through their news feed, between a Target ad and some random selfie.  That said, I LOVE seeing other people's announcements, especially the really creative ones, I guess it's just not for me personally.
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  • CocoR04CocoR04 member
    I will be posting on FB, as the people I'm friends with on Facebook are my actual friends and family who I keep in touch with via the site.

    For those of you who are choosing not to post this news on FB because it's personal, might I ask what you do post on FB? Do you use it as a networking tool?

    I am also trying to be sensitive to my friend's and family member's journeys with infertility, and hate that my post might hurt someone. But, won't a birth announcement sting just as much as a pregnancy announcement?

    You ladies have given me a lot to think about and these are some great points that I haven't thought about before!
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  • amberterry87amberterry87 member
    Personally I first had Facebook as a networking tool back when I was a professional model. So that lead to close to '2,000' friends, of whom I probably only knew 100 very well. So for me culling my friends list wasn't an option, and making a new account was too much work. Trust me, before I deleted it I always posted about my baby girl (pictures as videos), so I'm not judging anyone. But as my daughter grew I noticed my face was in my phone a lot more than it should have been. My daughter constantly wanted to have my phone because I always had it on me. People also knew everything about her before I told them, and it was so creepy. I'd forget I'd posted a picture or something until someone would comment about it in person. It was almost impossible for me to convince myself and hubby At first that we didn't 'need' Facebook (I think most people et sucked into that). But it's honestly the best thing we have ever done. We now hardly ever have our phones out or on us..I spend all the time I can talking with my baby and interacting, and we have such a better bond. I think if you genuinely can control yourself with how much you share on Facebook and who you share it with, then good for you. But if I could shout it from the rooftops I would: quitting Facebook has been the best thing for my relationships and sense of self :) But I don't judge anyone for loving it!
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  • CocoR04CocoR04 member
    @amberterry87 that's awesome that you and your husband kicked the FB/phone habit! I can definitely say that DH and I could cut down on our own screen time. We post to FB (our only social media accounts) about three times a month, but we do look at it a lot. Your post has made me reevaluate some things. Thanks!!
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  • jenspeakejenspeake member
    I have a friend who is struggling with trying to conceive for awhile now.  I told her in person and she was absolutely thrilled for me.  I told her before I told the rest in my girl group, since I was telling them all at once in person and didn't want her to be blind sided.  She did tell me that what hurts her the most is one of our other friends that is pregnant updating her status every other hour with something about her pregnancy.  What kills me is this same pregnant friend on FB shared one of those quote pics about not doing a fake pregnancy announcement on April Fools as it's insensitive to those trying or who cannot conceive....but doesn't think about what her constant posting does.  But to each their own.  Everyone should be allowed to do what they want....but just a gripe for me!
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  • babealertzbabealertz member
    CocoR04 said:

    For those of you who are choosing not to post this news on FB because it's personal, might I ask what you do post on FB?

    I post maybe once or twice a year? I just looked at my wall--the last thing I posted on my own page was a message thanking people for wishing me a happy birthday, 8 months ago.

    I'm friends with my family and friends on Facebook, but I really only use it to keep track of acquaintances--people I went to school with, used to work with, etc. I want to know who is getting married and having babies, but I have no interest in how they are feeling on a particular day or articles they think are interesting, and I think they'd be just as bored by me if I were to share the same things. So much of what goes on on Facebook is backdoor bragging--"Here I am in front of a pool! By the way, I went on a really expensive vacation!" I just want no part of it.

    I started writing about my life online in 2001. I've had LiveJournal, Blurty, Diaryland, Friendster, MySpace and Tumblr accounts. I joined Facebook in 2004. At this point, the urge to share things about myself publicly is pretty much out of my system. I do like writing here, but only because it's anonymous.
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  • rosalbap2rosalbap2 member
    I totally understand how you feel about posting it on social media. My husband and I were just talking about it last night, since I was looking up ideas on how to announce it on social media. There are just some people who love to gossip like you said and are people who I do not have a close relationship with.  I even unfriended  few people before I decide to post the news. I just told my immediate family and best friends about it so far. 
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  • dchiapelladchiapella member
    I'm avoiding saying too much on social media, but I had to announce since I schooled all over the US growing up and now live 3500 miles from my husband's and my family so there are too many people who really would want to know for me not to at lease announce. If you're able to avoid it though, I say awesome for you. It's amazing how many people have already started the "just wait 'til" and say these negative things about pregnancy or parenthood that you don't want to hear or try to start an unprompted bout of "whose pregnancy was worse" to make you feel like crap and themselves better. That's only going to get worse, too, as we get closer and closer to the finish line so I definitely support your decision to not involve social media and to keep all the negativity associated with it at bay!!
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  • heytallmamaheytallmama member
    We are keeping the announcements off of Facebook. After struggling with infertility, it was always hard to see others' posts about announcements, so I don't want to cause that for someone else. Plus, it's not our style. That said, once family and friends all know, if the random picture of me with a bump, or pics as we put the nursery together makes its way online- no big deal. I just don't want to do anything cutesy and draw attention since neither DH or I are big posters to begin with. It's more fun to tell people in person/ over the phone anyway :)
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  • KyrBo1986KyrBo1986 member
    Amazing450 said:

    I didn't share anything until the birth last time. The responses were kinda funny because no one knew I was pregnant. Then suddenly I had a baby.

    Me too! Lots of "oh my god's" on my post announcing my son's birth! It was actually really nice to have that privacy. It also means nobody can post "congratulations" before you make that announcement! I HATE when that happens!!
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  • KyrBo1986KyrBo1986 member
    @ VallieS86 My "people I don't want to know" are family and I got earache from them when I deleted them and had to feign a "Facebook glitch". It's far too much trouble to attempt to remember to exclude certain "friends" from my posts. But that's just me.
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  • nmatheny14nmatheny14 member
    edited April 2015
    We posted an announcement that we are expecting but that will be it. We have lots of family and friends who don't live nearby that we wanted to share the news with. And every time I called to tell anyone about it, they wanted to talk for 3 hours. I just didn't have time to do that with EVERY person we wanted to tell. There won't be any belly or baby pics though.

    I also wanted any mention of it on Facebook to come from me instead of from some family member or friend who couldn't keep their mouth shut.
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  • akfbookwormakfbookworm member
    We haven't posted anything yet, but plan to after telling immediate family, in order to let extended family know. Once I tell my mom everyone that's ever met me will know, and I'd rather be the one to tell. My husband laughs at my back up plan of just showing up at Thanksgiving dinner with a baby, but it's nice to hear others plan to keep it private.
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  • nanna0407nanna0407 member
    My husband and I agree it stays off social media as well as after baby is here. Due to extreme sickness we told parents and siblings at 8 weeks. Fil is big in gossip and has told the whole city. It's a tiny city but my husband is always in the news and has been for years do everyone knows us. My family knows it's our news to share and we will do so as we please. My fil on the other hand can't keep anything to himself to save his life.
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  • shyfry21shyfry21 member
    My finace and I aren't announcing our pregnancy but also aren't avoiding it or trying to keep it private. The news will come out naturally. The important people in our life know & that's how it should be. If my bump shows in a picture I or someone else posts, I will be okay with that. But we won't be making a specific announcement.
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