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Unwanted belly comments

akfbookwormakfbookworm member
in October 2015 Moms
Yesterday a new and young coworker said she could see I'm getting a belly. I'm 12 weeks and before finding out I was pregnant had just bought the smallest pair of jeans I've ever owned. I lost 30lbs last year and was down 70lbs from my highest. I've never had a flat stomach, but feel very self conscious about my bloat (I've gained about 5 lbs). I told my coworker that it's really bloat from eating too much at lunch. A couple weeks ago my BIL said he could tell I was starting to show (I was at home in a tight tank top I wear undershirts) I ran out of the room crying. I feel like if they didn't know I was pregnant they'd never say "oh look how fat you're getting". Is there a way to handle this that lets them know how rude and insensitive they're being?
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Re: Unwanted belly comments

  • numbr2numbr2 member
    People are going to say things you won't even believe. Like oh my god how many are in there are
    You sure there is only one in there? and when are you going to pop. They have not filter it gets old but Get used to it because all that lil belly you have now is going to get is bigger and then after you have the baby you still
    Have it.. Embrace it and accept it. It's not going anywhere for a long
    Time and it's there for a good reason. Think of it as the only
    Time in your life when it's ok to not suck it in:)
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  • NYCMom1NYCMom1 member
    I'm not sure how you handle them...

    I'm 13.5 weeks and I keep getting "wow, that must be a boy because you are so big already".  My mom and I have this thing where we sing the song from Frozen "Let It Go" in our heads when people say dumb stuff.   Don't know if that will help you but it makes me giggle when I sing it...in my head that is :) 

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  • wildbutterfli2001wildbutterfli2001 member
    Unless you have a line up of smart ass comments to fire back at them,try not to let it get to you. As dumb and insensitive people can be,the further along you get the more it will happen. Strangers will comment, you may even get a random weirdo trying to rub your belly. I'm sorry you have to deal with it because people can be really really dumb.
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  • Dreamingmommy4Dreamingmommy4 member
    Unfortunately now that you're pregnant, people are going to take it as a free for all to make the most outrageous comments possible. You are just going to have to put on your tough face and ignore them or tell them straight to their face that they are being rude, but neither of those things will stop it. For some reason people just decide when you are pregnant or a parent, they can say anything or offer whatever advice they want. I don't know why and it's completely ridiculous, but it's going to happen so get ready. Sorry! And your bloat/baby belly is cute no matter what. ;)
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  • Knottie03036745Knottie03036745 member
    yeah- just get over it. They are saying these things out of joy and excitement for you- as hard as it is to grin and bear it.. it's the right thing to do.

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  • edehe2389edehe2389 member
    I had someone say something kind of opposite. It's the mil, I think she thinks I'm faking being pregnant. She looked at me and says how's baby, I don't even see a baby... hello lady I'm 10 weeks (11 now) not 20. And my stomach was flat before and isn't now. She doesn't like me so I'm sure she'll make more rude comments along the way.
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  • FatPonyFatPony member
    omg, what kind of bag thinks you're faking a pregnancy???? Yes, I'm totally 'faking' the puking and nausea
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  • xpaperxxpaperx member
    I've never gotten any unwanted comments or touching. But I have a major resting bitch face. If a stranger touched me, I would lose my mind on them.
    Anyway, I would politely tell your coworker how inappropriate her comments are. Maybe you can save her from making the same mistake in the future.
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  • CupcakesandquiltsCupcakesandquilts member
    Knottie03036745 said:

    yeah- just get over it. They are saying these things out of joy and excitement for you- as hard as it is to grin and bear it.. it's the right thing to do.


    I disagree completely. Rude and personal comments about a woman's body are never ok, even less so with the vulnerability we have being pregnant. I was in shock at the comments people made during my last pregnancy and I'm not letting it slide this time. While I don't want to hurt people's feelings, they are being rude and I will tell them so.
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  • FirstTimeMamaArickaFirstTimeMamaAricka member
    numbr2 said:

    People are going to say things you won't even believe. Like oh my god how many are in there are
    You sure there is only one in there? and when are you going to pop. They have not filter it gets old but Get used to it because all that lil belly you have now is going to get is bigger and then after you have the baby you still
    Have it.. Embrace it and accept it. It's not going anywhere for a long
    Time and it's there for a good reason. Think of it as the only
    Time in your life when it's ok to not suck it in:)

    OMG seriously i totally realized that the other day, My mil decided to make a smart comment about my belly something like "you know you could either try eating more vegatables or at least buy bigger shirts to hide that" i almost blew a cork. needless to say I'm still quite hormonal at 12 weeks and after crying i realized hey at least i have an excuse not to suck it in anymore. It was a nice realization and it made me laugh
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  • akfbookwormakfbookworm member
    cgummie said:

    I'm not as nice as previous posters. I've told people that "my hormones and your insults are a lethal combination" and they usually step off. But I'm kinda rude to begin with...

    Love that answer! I knew that when I got big people would say crap and have already warned my husband I will slap strangers if they try to rub my belly.
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  • jenhaugjenhaug member
    When someone says something rude like that to me I correct them by saying "you mean I'm small and dainty, right?" Or "extraordinarily lovely", something along those lines :) than your not being a downright snot and still getting the point across
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  • VallieS86VallieS86 member
    I have not had anyone comment to me yet about looking pregnant, I gained some weight before getting pregnant though and have just stayed the same since getting pregnant. I got comments about looking pregnant BEFORE getting pregnant. I work retail and over the 7 years I've worked there I've probably been asked "when are you due" about seven times. My response was always the same. I'm not pregnant. A few girls at work have also been asked that several times. People are RUDE. I keep waiting for someone to ask when I'm due. I'm going to respond the same way I always have, because I don't want to let the cat out of the bag yet. It's frustrating and makes you feel bad which is why I never ask women that even if they're obviously pregnant. It's none of my business just as its none of anyone else's business if I'm pregnant.

    @fatpony I went home from work a couple of weeks ago. I never leave work 2 hours into my shift. The next day a coworker asked how I was doing. I said fine, I felt a lot better. He said we all got to leave early yesterday anyway. I go ok, I left 2 hours in because I was really nauseous. "No one believes you anyway" ugh I was so angry when he said that, and I couldn't even say hey dumbo I'm pregnant because he's not worthy of knowing. Peeps are dumb.

    @Penguin81 omg that's great that you did that to that lady. I'm going to get so mad if people are trying to touch my belly. I'm big on personal space and don't like people I don't know being in it. I'm going to be a crazy pregnant lady when I start showing.
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  • nrocke129nrocke129 member
    My aunt came over the other day that I was very bloated. She is like ohh you have a belly already! She has to give me another hug and kiss of course while planting her hand flat on my belly. I was bloated to the point I was in pain. I guess it is starting already!
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  • MamaOwl15MamaOwl15 member
    People lose all sense of decorum when it comes to a woman's pregnancy. I've been asked more times than I can count if I was pregnant when I wasn't, or when I was due when I wasn't pregnant at all. And when I was pregnant with my son, perfect strangers would comment on how huge I was or say things like, "no way you'll make it to June!"

    Some people make comments that are well-meaning, like "oh you're getting a belly!" or seeming to express concern, but they still forget to be conscious of anyone else's feelings.

    I think the next time someone makes a rude comment toward me I'm going to respond, "what was that? You said I look great? Well, I feel alright, too, thanks!"

    a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1c2dc3.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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  • emillan11emillan11 member
    Ugh. Yes. I've only gained three pounds and am just bloated. And my coworkers touch my belly and point to my bloat like "oh, she's showing!". It makes me feel awful. People also like to tell me what the sex is based on those old wive's tales and it irritates the crap out of me. Pregnancy is almost like opening the door for a lot of judgement.
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • Livvyloo87Livvyloo87 member
    I haven't told anyone at work and two weeks ago (would have just been 12 week) this old guy came up to me at the photocopier and said "do you have something you need to tell me" and pointed to my stomach!!!

    I just said "no, what do you mean"?. Making him so uncomfortable was the only thing that stopped me getting upset!!!
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  • FirstTimeMamaArickaFirstTimeMamaAricka member
    All of these made me think of something i saw online once and i found it so i want to share it with all you other mommies, it should definitely be made into a shirt lol
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  • RitababoonRitababoon member
    I've had three unwanted belly rubs, one unwanted photo of my belly(!) and one dumb comment from my old boss (combined with creepy belly rub) when we told him we were preggo..."oh, I didn't think you were THAT fat". As my partner says, you can't get mad at people just because they are really really STOOPID. Just grit your teeth, and pity them. Or punch them in their dumb face.
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  • JoelliexoxJoelliexox member
    I have been trying to lose 15-20lbs for years now, so when I found out I was pregnant, in the back of my mind I was/am worried I will be huge in the end. However, I think probably because I am a first time mom when people say they are starting to see a bump ( 13 weeks) it just makes me happy and it makes me feel like it's becoming real. I think some people say they " see your baby growing" or "look at your bump!" because they want to feel that connection with you and share a part of the experience that we are going through, even though early. My mom and dad both soooooo ready to be grandparents keep rubbing my belly already and it just makes me smile because I know damn well so much it bloat. I think it's sweet.
    I also just told my Class of First graders I am pregnant yesterday! Guess I am going to have to get real comfortable with kids touching my belly and their comments are as honest as they get! Lol
    However, I can understand, if someone says something just straight up mean and hurtful, I am sure I will take offense to that too.
    Like I said I struggled for so many years with that 15-20lbs now I feel like at least I have reason for it and I will refocus with new motivation later.
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  • CasseylemonCasseylemon member
    My grandma makes super awkward about my growing bump..I love that I'm showing a little but really? Do you have to comment in front of everyone? I think I'm extra sensitive from hormones
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