Can't Stand Husband

beauty2014 · April 2015

Ever since we had our first baby and got married but husband seems to have taken a turn. For the first 4 years everything was perfect. Now that he has taken on the role of parenthood and spousehood he's just been an irritable bitch... Saying I have attitude all the time when his is 10 times worse. He throws a hissy fit any time I ask him to help me with something and gets super pissed when having to take on the patience road. Don't get me started if I forget something and have to ask him again to help me remember. But for instance. Tonight. I am 8 weeks pregnant with our second baby. His feet smell awful and makes my stomach turn. He was nice enough to get foot spray. He left it on the stairs and I brought it up. I made the comment his feet stink and he wants me to spray his feet. I looked at him straight in the eyed and told him I am not his maid and that he can spray it himself. Wow. He called me a fucking bitch and said I need to lose the attitude. Idk if its getting worse now because he's joining the Navy but if that's the case its BS because joining the Navy has always been his dream. I'm just supporting his decision. I'm just upset because he knows calling me this upsets me and I don't need this crap right now with being pregnant and taking this major step in our lives of possibly moving away from my family who I have always been around to make him happy. Anyone else experiencing a heckle/Hyde spouse of significant other?

MayBeSomeDay16 · April 2015

ugh yes.... my husband does not understand what i'm going through at all being 6ish weeks along. He is a big giant grouchy asshole if i ask him to help with out 16 month old. He is under the impression that i make dinner, clean the house, take care of our child etc oh and work a full time job and its still not good enough or i do something half assed. But then the next minute hes playing with our DD and everything is great.

chellet98 · April 2015

Yup my Hubby has turned into a big ASS MITCH!!! This pregnancy was a suprise (even though he wasn't using protection) and he blames it on me. We have a 18 month old and he is quite the handful. Hubby is stressed about $$$$ and keeps mentioning this isn't a good time for a 2nd...uh he wasn't saying that when we made this baby. I am frustrated and sad at times but I have to keep it together for our son and baby to come. Hope Hubby comes to his senses soon, pray for me please.

Mommy2Be12 · April 2015

My hubby has been okay I think he is stressed about money but who isn't? We are a standard upper middle class family own our home and have a decent savings. The first thing he said was I need a second job... Lol we make good money both of us work but I think that it's just what guys do. They feel the need to provide.

But on a side note to the spraying his feet.. Um yeah.. No. Rude. And then to call you a bitch totally uncalled for.

Come to think about it my hubby has been golfing a lot more! Lol.... Maybe that's why? I did have one day I was super tired and I wanted to nap and I kept being woken up and I went off on him... Lol then he went golfing and I got to nap and life was good. Lol...

vrossolille · April 2015

Anyone who's husband is calling you filthy names needs to put him in his place. Your always gonna have arguments or disagreements but name calling is unacceptable! My husband would be punched in the face and he knows it to!

vrossolille · April 2015

On a flip side my husband doesn't understand the tiredness we get. He gets upset when I fall asleep watching our favorite show or that he doesn't get dinner EVERY night. Last night though I fell asleep at 745 and he never woke me up and took care of the kids.

BooBerry137 · April 2015

It sounds like you guys need some serious counseling before the baby gets here.

wocha · April 2015

My hubby is really irritating !!
I bought a doppler angelsound and he was really being difficult about it, thats not neccesary, its a lost of money, are you happy now blabla
Now i want to do an extra echo ( in belgium we call it fun echo ibdont know if you guys know it )
Its not the doctors but somewhere else. You can also take 3d and 4d ( i just want an extra 2d )
We are gonna announce it to the family with an echo picture. The once we have right now are not that nice . I want a really nice echo picture and i wanna see and hear the baby again.. Dont want to wait that long for the next doctors appointment
He is against that. It is stupid, waist of money, not neccesary. Blablabla
So because he thinks its stupid
Im not allowed

wocha · April 2015

Really rude to call you a bitch!
You are making his baby!
dont allow it to call you that!

aiishaj · April 2015

Yeah I can relate I'm 7 1/2 weeks and he doesn't understand that I'm always tired and honestly I just want to be spoiled not in a bratty sense but I usually always cook clean and work but now I don't want to Im sick and exhausted and I don't have the patience for it all anymore honestly but if I say that then I'm out of line or irritating.....it's stressful keep me in you guys prayers

BooBerry137 · April 2015

wocha said:
My hubby is really irritating !!
I bought a doppler angelsound and he was really being difficult about it, thats not neccesary, its a lost of money, are you happy now blabla
Now i want to do an extra echo ( in belgium we call it fun echo ibdont know if you guys know it )
Its not the doctors but somewhere else. You can also take 3d and 4d ( i just want an extra 2d )
We are gonna announce it to the family with an echo picture. The once we have right now are not that nice . I want a really nice echo picture and i wanna see and hear the baby again.. Dont want to wait that long for the next doctors appointment
He is against that. It is stupid, waist of money, not neccesary. Blablabla
So because he thinks its stupid
Im not allowed

I have to side with your husband in this case.

blessingcoming · April 2015

wow my husband is really nice and I love him more each day! He brings me water and crackers in bed when I'm so nauseous and even handled supper a few times. He hasn't complained about the fact I can't seem to get laundry put away, and that there's a few more dirty dishes than usual. He's very compassionate and sensitive, even tho he works 12 hour days as a roofer. He's even taking off early today so he can take me to the clinic and get antibiotics for my uti. Hope things look up for you ladies soon!! That's rough :-/

wocha · April 2015

BooBerry137 said:

wocha said:
My hubby is really irritating !!
I bought a doppler angelsound and he was really being difficult about it, thats not neccesary, its a lost of money, are you happy now blabla
Now i want to do an extra echo ( in belgium we call it fun echo ibdont know if you guys know it )
Its not the doctors but somewhere else. You can also take 3d and 4d ( i just want an extra 2d )
We are gonna announce it to the family with an echo picture. The once we have right now are not that nice . I want a really nice echo picture and i wanna see and hear the baby again.. Dont want to wait that long for the next doctors appointment
He is against that. It is stupid, waist of money, not neccesary. Blablabla
So because he thinks its stupid
Im not allowed
I have to side with your husband in this case.

Can i ask why

he works 6months in a year in other country and makes a lot of money
An extra echo is arround $30 so its not the end of the world.
I have to sit alone half of the year so i can get a little cranky if he starts to get greedy

BooBerry137 · April 2015

wocha said:

BooBerry137 said:

wocha said:
My hubby is really irritating !!
I bought a doppler angelsound and he was really being difficult about it, thats not neccesary, its a lost of money, are you happy now blabla
Now i want to do an extra echo ( in belgium we call it fun echo ibdont know if you guys know it )
Its not the doctors but somewhere else. You can also take 3d and 4d ( i just want an extra 2d )
We are gonna announce it to the family with an echo picture. The once we have right now are not that nice . I want a really nice echo picture and i wanna see and hear the baby again.. Dont want to wait that long for the next doctors appointment
He is against that. It is stupid, waist of money, not neccesary. Blablabla
So because he thinks its stupid
Im not allowed
I have to side with your husband in this case.
Can i ask why
he works 6months in a year in other country and makes a lot of money
An extra echo is arround $30 so its not the end of the world.
I have to sit alone half of the year so i can get a little cranky if he starts to get greedy

Ultrasounds are diagnostic tools and shouldn't be used for "funsies." Im sorry you're lonely but I don't see what one has to do with the other.

jessietta · April 2015

Praying for my fiancé to come around. He's nice one min and inconsiderate the next... He has too much pride UGH... We get to hear the baby's heart beat on the 23rd ... Maybe it'll sink in then. This is our 1st pregnancy. I downloaded different apps on his phone begging him to educate himself. He thinks it's too early for me to have mood swings. I'm like SERIOUSLY

beauty2014 · April 2015

Thank you ladies for your uplifting comments. He's not horrible everyday, and as I stated before we already have a almost two year old. He wanted nothing more than to have another baby. He knows name calling hurts me. Unfortunately it seems like his only way of relieving stress. I end up leaving the room until he can apologize. He ended up spraying his own feet because he wanted me to rub them (he rubs my feet too of course) I asked him why he's been so grumpy and always saying I have an attitude in which I know I don't. He said he's been tired about work and stuff which I get, but I told him I'm stressed about things too and I don't go off on anyone. And even lately I've been noticing I'm the only one who seems to care how everyone's day goes but I never get asked in return. Its sad

and on top of that I haven't had time to be excited about this pregnancy. In all honesty for some reason I just don't want to get my hopes up. I've had a miscarriage in 2012 and happened to get pregnant 5 months later, had a healthy baby boy and pregnant again. I just feel like w everyone else in my family having babies, I'll happen to be the one who will lose mine. I'm trying so hard to keep my faith and trust in the Lord but its always in the back of my head.

wocha · April 2015

BooBerry137 said:

wocha said:

BooBerry137 said:

wocha said:
My hubby is really irritating !!
I bought a doppler angelsound and he was really being difficult about it, thats not neccesary, its a lost of money, are you happy now blabla
Now i want to do an extra echo ( in belgium we call it fun echo ibdont know if you guys know it )
Its not the doctors but somewhere else. You can also take 3d and 4d ( i just want an extra 2d )
We are gonna announce it to the family with an echo picture. The once we have right now are not that nice . I want a really nice echo picture and i wanna see and hear the baby again.. Dont want to wait that long for the next doctors appointment
He is against that. It is stupid, waist of money, not neccesary. Blablabla
So because he thinks its stupid
Im not allowed
I have to side with your husband in this case.
Can i ask why
he works 6months in a year in other country and makes a lot of money
An extra echo is arround $30 so its not the end of the world.
I have to sit alone half of the year so i can get a little cranky if he starts to get greedy
Ultrasounds are diagnostic tools and shouldn't be used for "funsies." Im sorry you're lonely but I don't see what one has to do with the other.

It is proven that ultrasounds dont harm the baby so what is the big problem of doing one extra..
And by sitting alone i just mean, i dont sit alone 6months in a year so he can make a lot of money and be greedy to spend $30

wocha · April 2015

BooBerry137 said:
It sounds like you guys need some serious counseling before the baby gets here.

I think its a little rude to say that !
The woman that have shouted out there hearts over here are gonna feel now like they have a crappy relationship and need serieus counceling
That is not why they put it up here to hear such things
Everybody once has discussions or problems with their husbands that is not uncommon !
Especially not when your hormones are getting crazy

wocha · April 2015

beauty2014 said:
Thank you ladies for your uplifting comments. He's not horrible everyday, and as I stated before we already have a almost two year old. He wanted nothing more than to have another baby. He knows name calling hurts me. Unfortunately it seems like his only way of relieving stress. I end up leaving the room until he can apologize. He ended up spraying his own feet because he wanted me to rub them (he rubs my feet too of course) I asked him why he's been so grumpy and always saying I have an attitude in which I know I don't. He said he's been tired about work and stuff which I get, but I told him I'm stressed about things too and I don't go off on anyone. And even lately I've been noticing I'm the only one who seems to care how everyone's day goes but I never get asked in return. Its sad and on top of that I haven't had time to be excited about this pregnancy. In all honesty for some reason I just don't want to get my hopes up. I've had a miscarriage in 2012 and happened to get pregnant 5 months later, had a healthy baby boy and pregnant again. I just feel like w everyone else in my family having babies, I'll happen to be the one who will lose mine. I'm trying so hard to keep my faith and trust in the Lord but its always in the back of my head.

If you sometimes need someone to ask how your day was you can always contact me

even if it is for a little happy chat.
I think we all sometimes have that feeling we are standing alone, but at the end of the day im sure your husband will be there for you!
Try to relax and dont think to much about the bad things that can happen. I know thats probably hard because you had the bad experiences, but the chanche to have multiple bad experiences is much smaller so maybe think about that.
I hope everything will turn out owkay and i wish you a good pregnancy !

BooBerry137 · April 2015

wocha said:

BooBerry137 said:
It sounds like you guys need some serious counseling before the baby gets here.
I think its a little rude to say that !
The woman that have shouted out there hearts over here are gonna feel now like they have a crappy relationship and need serieus counceling
That is not why they put it up here to hear such things
Everybody once has discussions or problems with their husbands that is not uncommon !
Especially not when your hormones are getting crazy

Please explain to me how it's rude? Her husband is verbally abusive.

wocha · April 2015

BooBerry137 said:

wocha said:

BooBerry137 said:
It sounds like you guys need some serious counseling before the baby gets here.
I think its a little rude to say that !
The woman that have shouted out there hearts over here are gonna feel now like they have a crappy relationship and need serieus counceling
That is not why they put it up here to hear such things
Everybody once has discussions or problems with their husbands that is not uncommon !
Especially not when your hormones are getting crazy
Please explain to me how it's rude? Her husband is verbally abusive.

Because she is looking for understanding and to shout her hart out. Not to be judged and said they need counceling.
Its not because he said that she is being verbally abused. Thats a little over reacted
So if you are irritated or mad at your husband you never call him a name ?

I dont say its right to do it but that doesnt mean you need counceling or you are being abused

BooBerry137 · April 2015

wocha said:

BooBerry137 said:

wocha said:

BooBerry137 said:
It sounds like you guys need some serious counseling before the baby gets here.
I think its a little rude to say that !
The woman that have shouted out there hearts over here are gonna feel now like they have a crappy relationship and need serieus counceling
That is not why they put it up here to hear such things
Everybody once has discussions or problems with their husbands that is not uncommon !
Especially not when your hormones are getting crazy
Please explain to me how it's rude? Her husband is verbally abusive.

Because she is looking for understanding and to shout her hart out. Not to be judged and said they need counceling.
Its not because he said that she is being verbally abused. Thats a little over reacted
So if you are irritated or mad at your husband you never call him a name ?

I dont say its right to do it but that doesnt mean you need counceling or you are being abused

No, my husband doesn't speak to me that way.

Support doesn't always mean telling someone everything will be fine, when it so obviously will not be. They have huge stressors in their marriage that will be getting worse very soon. If they can't communicate effectively now, how will things get better when she's a military wife, away from family with a small child and a newborn to take care of on little to no sleep?

Things don't always magically work out. Sometimes you have to work at them, and that includes marriage counseling. There's no shame in that.

SamanthaAshley820 · April 2015

wocha said:

BooBerry137 said:

wocha said:

BooBerry137 said:
It sounds like you guys need some serious counseling before the baby gets here.
I think its a little rude to say that !
The woman that have shouted out there hearts over here are gonna feel now like they have a crappy relationship and need serieus counceling
That is not why they put it up here to hear such things
Everybody once has discussions or problems with their husbands that is not uncommon !
Especially not when your hormones are getting crazy
Please explain to me how it's rude? Her husband is verbally abusive.

Because she is looking for understanding and to shout her hart out. Not to be judged and said they need counceling.
Its not because he said that she is being verbally abused. Thats a little over reacted
So if you are irritated or mad at your husband you never call him a name ?

I dont say its right to do it but that doesnt mean you need counceling or you are being abused

I get called a bitch all the time, not just from my fiance either. It's not abuse. I mean, to call someone a bitch when they're acting out... Is not. It's like voicing a different opinion. Now, if he sat there and told her she was nothing but a stupid bitch, and degraded her on a regular basis that would be abuse. But she didn't say that. So let's not call someone an abuser lightly. It takes a special kind of f*cked up person to do that.

Maybe y'all don't need counseling either? But y'all do need to talk or something! That's the biggest thing we all need to remember, we need to communicate and let our partners communicate with us.

mchmadre · April 2015

Oh for the comment about ultrasounds are not for fun lol let me tell you business like Peek A Boo 3D are making a lot of money off non diagnostic ultrasounds. And also never let a man call you out of your name it's one thing to point out your attitude or a issue but to resort to name calling when we are adults is just a little childish.

lizerspitz · April 2015

Some would warn against prolonged exposure to us machines, primarily siting that the baby often will move away from the device when exposed. Some would equate that to the baby being uncomfortable or in pain.

I wish that counseling were not such a contentious issue. Going to see a counselor can be very healthy for couples in all stage of their relationship as a check in point. If your not getting anywhere at home, or feel stuck with your routine, counseling can be a very positive step to get new life in your relationship by getting an outsiders perspective. Many say you can just have a friend do that, but if there is something serious going on, a friend may not have the resources or skills to challenge and offer meaningful constructive feedback that can lead to change.

Ceridwen77 · April 2015

ecwyoder said:
Some would warn against prolonged exposure to us machines, primarily siting that the baby often will move away from the device when exposed. Some would equate that to the baby being uncomfortable or in pain.

I wish that counseling were not such a contentious issue. Going to see a counselor can be very healthy for couples in all stage of their relationship as a check in point. If your not getting anywhere at home, or feel stuck with your routine, counseling can be a very positive step to get new life in your relationship by getting an outsiders perspective. Many say you can just have a friend do that, but if there is something serious going on, a friend may not have the resources or skills to challenge and offer meaningful constructive feedback that can lead to change.

Very well said. There should not be a stigma associated with marital counseling. It's abhorrent to think that suggesting counseling is rude.

leslie523 · April 2015

As a therapist it really bothers me that there's a stigma but I understand it. I always suggest having someone to talk to and have thought about and been to therapy myself. It's bouncing things off someone else, maybe I'm in the wrong but I can't hear it from my husband because I think he's being unreasonable when he's not. Maybe he's not hearing me, and maybe counseling would help point that out who knows.

Sorry obviously a personal issue of mine. Therapy doesn't mean somethings wrong with you.

jessilee15 · April 2015

I agree! Based on the info given, I would suggest counseling for better conflict resolution skills. Name calling is unacceptable, especially when you are soon going to have kids to pick up on language (my son learned "shit" at 13 months after I dropped a knife near my foot). I can't imagine my husband saying anything like that to me; I also would not agree with the previous poster that stated she would punch him in the face for name calling though

Camille0786 · April 2015

I'm just throwing this out there... But if your feet stank and you asked him to spray them I bet he would. Spray his damn feet and surprise him with a lasagna, then maybe he will start to buck up. Usually when my S/O is a weirdo it is my attitude first. Unless I know 100% it is not and I call him out on it then he owns up to it.

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