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April 2015 Moms
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Rules for visitors in L&D

tncastncas member
in April 2015 Moms
I am a STM. Both my husband and my self have large families. With my first every single one of my in-laws (7 siblings, their spouses and children, and his parents) + my parents, sister, brother, and 1 brother in law all spent the entire day in the delivery room with me. It was overwhelming and I did eventually kick everyone out except my husband, mom, and sister.
So this time I wanted to set some rules before anyone even shows up to avoid the extra stress that day. They are: only 4 people at a time in delivery room while laboring, no minors (aside from my daughter), no photography, and no social media updates on my labor and delivery progress.
Some of this I can just pull the "it's the hospitals policy" line, but others not so much. When I told my sister and dad they both questioned why that would be a policy (no photography during delivery actually is the hospital policy) and didn't seem to take any of it seriously. Except the social media one which they both said there is no way that will happen (as in they refuse to not post)!
I don't know what to do. Is it too much to tell them if they can't follow the rues and respect my wishes they are not allowed to come in until we are moved to the women's and children's room?
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Re: Rules for visitors in L&D

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  • mrsmeyer419mrsmeyer419 member
    Agree with pp!! Granted it'll only be me and my bf in the delivery room, possibly his step mom if he needs to step out for whatever reason. And when I go into labor we are only telling his parents and my mom everyone else will just hafta wait until after a born to find out. I don't want to deal with my phone blowing up because people want updates so I'm just not saying anything ha. Stick your ground!!
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  • smilesallaroundsmilesallaround member
    Stand your ground! Those are great rules! I am setting many of the same rules. If they can't agree to abide by your social media rule, do not allow them to visit and do not allow them to have updates! That is my plan. But I'm not letting anyone visit during my labor and delivery and they are not allowed to come see me or the baby for at least 2 hrs after he is born. (Our hospital rule is 1 hr to have skin to skin and try breastfeeding).
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  • vetdr03vetdr03 member
    edited April 2015
    I think it is so sad that women are being stressed by family constantly on these apps about something as intimate as giving birth. How is it you have to give grown people rules about something that involves you and your private life? Smh. I'm sorry op, I am very harsh with words so I wouldn't have to ask if I should not allow them there. I would simply say it...AND MEAN IT! Good luck!
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  • juliaandpatrickjuliaandpatrick member
    I'm not allowing anyone in the room during delivery except my husband and mostly for those reasons. I know my mom would definitely be taking pictures and posting them to facebook, so in order to avoid that we aren't welcoming anyone in the room.
    I feel that giving birth is a very intimate moment that should only include you and SO.
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  • CivilMommyCivilMommy member

    Don't tell them all you are in labor.

    Or - tell them they are NOT allowed in the delivery room and you will only accept visitors once you are settled later.

    This is really your DH's job to manage and respect your wishes.


    _________________________________________________________________
    DD 7/2010, DS 3/2012, #3 due 4/24/2015


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  • FutureCearleyFFutureCearleyF member
    Good for you! I am also a STM and learned exactly what i didnt want to have happen this time. I didnt have a lot of people bothering me in the delivery room it was after in the recovery room that i felt overwhelmed. I delivered at 11:04pm, i was exhausted and there were 10 people in my room immediatly after having him. I hadnt even really held him yet or tried to nurse! Everyone was just standing around waiting for me to pass him around and i hated every second of it. And as far as social media goes its the same as last time no posting about anything until I announce his arrive because thats MY job as his parent not just anyone who snaps a pic and wants to post it they can wait. So this time ive asked for it to be just me and my husband in the room and possibly my sister if she makes it because she lives 4 hours away. Then i want an hour of alone time just me my husband and the baby, then another hour alone when he goes to get our toddler and we can spend time as a family together before it becomes crazy and all about the new baby. If your family doesnt respect your wishes then they shouldnt be given a choice to be part of it in my opinion.
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  • jacquelineemmajacquelineemma member
    I'm FTM and I have rules for my delivery. I also said no photos or social media and my sister as well said no way. I told her that I just won't tell her till after the baby is born and now she said she will follow all my rules. I also said that if anyone decides to go against a rule I have then I have no problem with kicking them out of the hospital room or my house when we take him home. I think you should stand your ground. You made rules for your reasons and you'll just be getting upset by people not following them which might take away from the moment.
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  • tncastncas member
    Thank you so much everyone! I wasn't sure if my expectations were too much. Everyone acted like I was just being crazy to not want social media and photography. I am going to stand my ground and tell them they to leave if I need to. I had a very traumatic birth (placental abruption) with my daughter and I am high risk this time. I would just like as little stress as possible!
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  • jacquelineemmajacquelineemma member
    If you want as little stress as possible then yeah I definitely would suggest saying now, before you give birth, to your family what your rules are and that they must follow the, no exceptions. You want this time to be happy.
    My sister is quite prone to cold sores and after that newborn baby died from a kiss from someone who had a cold sore I told my sister that if she might be about to get one or has one that's just going away then she can't touch and especially kiss the baby untill its gone because I just won't risk it
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  • saraozimsaraozim member
    Stand your ground!!!! I even had to do so with my mom! I told her she would be allowed in the room with my bf and her first question was "can I take a photo as they are cutting the cord" and I said absolutely not - no matter how hurt her feelings were. I've also told his mother she is not allowed in the delivery room.

    This is a private thing between you and baby daddy - don't let anyone push you around! After all, YOU are the one pushing out the baby, not them!
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  • mrsalvidrezmrsalvidrez member
    Your the one pushing a baby out of your vagina, you make the rules! Sure you don't have to be flat out rude about it, but people need to respect your wishes and not make it about them by taking offense. Stick to your guns.
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