Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
yl1m32015
member
How far along would you be?
yl1m32015
member
I often think about how far along Id be in my pregnancy had I not miscarried. Today Id be around 5 months along. I'd have ultrasound pictures on the fridge, my DH and I would be arguing over names and my mom and I would be planning my shower. Id be looking at maternity clothes and registering for nursery furniture.
But I don't have any of that. It's so heartbreaking. I feel like my whole life all I've ever wanted was to be a mother. I know I'm a mother to my child in Heaven, but no one else sees me as a mother. To the outside world, I'm not. That's just a hard pill to swallow.
Do you think about how far along you'd be? Or would your kids have been born already?
But I don't have any of that. It's so heartbreaking. I feel like my whole life all I've ever wanted was to be a mother. I know I'm a mother to my child in Heaven, but no one else sees me as a mother. To the outside world, I'm not. That's just a hard pill to swallow.
Do you think about how far along you'd be? Or would your kids have been born already?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How far along would you be?
Sigh.
First Pregnancy
Second Pregnancy
- BFP: 09/11/2015
- EDD: 05/25/2016
Baby Born04/15/2016
PGAL
Me: 38 DH: 42.
Married: 9/2008.
10/2014 BFP
5/2015 BFP
8/2015 MMC & D&C at 13 weeks
11/2015 BFP then CP at 6 weeks.
3/2016 Started IVF+PGS
4/2016 ER, only 5 eggs but 3 Frozen embryos made it to freeze. Only 1 PGS normal embryo.
DOR
Hypothyroidism
MTHFR
DH Sperm with Chromosomal Issues (high % FISH)
AMH .65
8/2016 FET #1 BFN
9/2016 IVF-ER #2 1 normal embryo.
11/2016 IVF-ER #3 0 Embryos
2/2017 FET #2 BFP CP at 6 weeks.
5/2017 BFP Natural. 3 Betas were ok. First US 5-31-2017. Hope it sticks and is healthy!!
BFP 2/19/15 • MMC found at 9 wks • D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
BFP 8/29/15 • CP (age 37)
TTC#2 since May 2017
BFP 10/18/17 • MMC found at 8 wks • Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)
BFP 2/16/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 4/13/18 • CP (age 39)
BFP 5/07/18 • MMC found at 10.5 wks • D&E at 11.5 wks • Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)
RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.
BFP 9/24/18 • CP (age 40)
I have a 4year old. Its hard when people ask if she has siblings. The other day I said she was the best child ever and she said no. We asked who was and she said sissy. She is mourning the loss, as well. Sometimes we sit and cry together. We have sissy's heartbeat in a build a bear and we have her foot prints. I also have her ashes... But I wish I had her.
DD1 - BFP 7/23/15 (EDD 3/31/16). "We believe in you rainbow" DOB 4/2/16
DD2 - BFP 2/9/18 (EDD 10/19/18). "Grow baby grow!" DOB 10/24/18
BFP 11/16/20 (EDD 7/31/21). "Round 3 FIGHT!"