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November 2015 Moms
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Stepmoms

JStill0603JStill0603 member
in November 2015 Moms
i just got married 6 months ago and we just found out we are expecting. I have a 5 yo stepson who I absolutely adore and we all 3 get along great. My husband is very excited we are pregnant, but he's not excited for his son to be a big brother, he actually feels sorry for him! The boys time is split pretty evenly down the middle between our house and his mothers house. This is making me feel bad and feel like maybe we shouldn't be having a second child. These were all things I thought about a lot before we started trying and I truly believe adding another child to the family will only make us a better, happier family of four and my stepson will fulfill his role of big brother very nicely. But I'm upset that my husband doesn't seem to feel the same way :( We are waiting til 12 weeks to tell friends and family, mostly I just needed to vent.
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Re: Stepmoms

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    JLW0504JLW0504 member
    I think as long as step son is okay with it, then it will be fine. I don't have any step children but I've seen Mons on here with the same question. If your DH wants to set aside some time with his son to make sure he's still feeling special, all will work out just fine.
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    lilyellowduck13lilyellowduck13 member
    I'm a stepmommy to a 5 yr old girl but we have a slightly different situation bc I've raised my daughter since she was 1 and her bm is almost nonexistent at this point (1 visit in 3 years, and no phone calls in the last 3 months). My stepdaughter was the second person I told, minutes after my husband. She's SO thrilled. When I pick her up from daycare she asks me if I took care of her baby today. And is already talking to my belly. It's so sweet.
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    kwaldykwaldy member
    edited March 2015
    We kind of have the same issue. My stepdaughter is five and primarily lives with her mother due to our military obligations. We get my stepdaughter for holidays and summer, though. I'm worried about jealousy, mostly. I've noticed that she's jealous of my nephew because he gets more attention at family events (he's 6 months, and she used to be the baby). I'm also pretty worried about the day that she asks why our baby lives with us all the time and she doesn't. That will break my heart.
    Kids are pretty resilient, though. I'm sure your stepchild will adjust to the new member of the family and grow to be a good big brother. It'll probably take some time. Your husband will also get used to the idea in time. At least you know he cares about his kids, judging by his concern.
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    splaughtersplaughter member
    My step son has been asking for a baby brother. He doesn't know we are pregnant yet but he has a name for a brother and everything. He is 7. Your stepson will be fine. He will be happy. You just need to make sure (like with any other siblings) to make one on one time with him when baby comes.
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    JStill0603JStill0603 member
    I think my stepson will be absolutely fine. I think he will be a great big brother and I love that the new baby will already have a big brother. He's a very caring boy, of course I'm a little worried about how he will feel about having to share the spotlight as he is currently the only child here and at his mothers and the only grandchild in my and my husbands families (he does have cousins on his moms side). I'm mostly concerned with how my husband feels. He thinks I will feel differently about this child because I gave birth to it which I think is an absurd thing to say to a pregnant woman. I love my stepson, I have treated him as my own since I felt comfortable doing so, which has probably been the last year and a half. I have known him since he was two and we have a really great relationship.
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    TTCIn3MonthsTTCIn3Months member
    I have two step daughters (9&7) who don't know the news yet but have been begging for a sibling. I feel as long as the step children are involved and get plenty of quality time, there should be no issues. I often worry about them feeling jealous with a new baby, the reality is, that wouldn't be any different if they were my biological children. It's going to be a big change and having their help will be a blessing :)
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    jessicacrespojessicacrespo member
    I have a 10 yr old step son. He is excited about it but we have been prepping him for a long time. We knew we wanted a child together and we just spoke freely about it in front of him. So he was used to the idea when we told him. I'm sorry your husband is feeling that way....perhaps you could set aside weekly dates with your step son. I do that...I take mine to Barnes and Noble every single Wednesday. It's our thing and our time to bond just the 2 of us. I think it's helped a lot
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    Danielleag30Danielleag30 member
    Although me and my BF are not married we are in an interesting situation. He has a 4 yr old daughter with his ex. Her mom just had a baby in February. Little did we know we got pregnant in February (completely unplanned). Right now we are witnessing the 4yr old transitioning from the only child on both sides of her family to now sharing the spotlight on her moms side. I know my BF was very worried about her when her sister was born and had a very negative attitude, but now that we are pregnant I'm worried he still has concerns and he isn't bringing them up. Timing is crazy.
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