September 2015 Moms

Is this Facebook pregnancy announcement offensive??

I think fake announcements on April fools are terrible, mainly because they can be hurtful to people struggling with infertility. However, as someone who tried to conceive for over four years before finally being blessed with a successful pregnancy, I don't find this actual announcement offensive. However, a friend who has a hard time getting pregnant (but has two children) just told me this is as heartless and tacky as someone who announces a false pregnancy. Just want to know some of your thoughts before I make the decision to post or not!

Re: Is this Facebook pregnancy announcement offensive??

  • I don't see the issue with it since you really are pregnant, but I get it from her side that maybe in a way it condones those fake announcements. I say go for it.
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  • I like it. I don't think it has anything to do with the fake announcements because those are fake and yours obviously is not!!
  • I don't see a problem with it, I think it's clever!
  • I think it's cheeky and fun. Not sire why this would be offensive at all has nothing to do with faking anyone out. You're friend needs to chill out!
  • Haha just posted something related to this.

    And no, I definitely don't think this is offensive.
  • Nope- not offensive and friend needs to toughen up.
  • NirolosaNirolosa member
    edited April 2015
    A friend of mine had a mega flip out online over fake announcements, she comes from a place of hurt since her last long term relationship (with her hubby) ended with him knocking up the other woman. They, as a couple, struggled with lack of fertility on her part several years ago. When he ended up almost being a daddy, he bailed on her faster than you could say 'divorce'. She now views these faux-announcements as direct personal attacks despite being nothing to do with herself in any which way.

    Personally, I don't find it offensive. Not at all. I was actually planning on announcing on fb for April Fools day myself (not as a false one but to tease people a bit) :p . Husband ended up letting the cat out of the bag at work two weeks early to the two biggest gossipers out there. So never got the chance to have a bit of fun.
  • I think it's pretty funny. I actually might have to announce it today...
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  • @FinalyFound i was trying to find that graphic as well. I wouldn't post it knowing I already had one friend who was upset by it. Obviously you can't please everyone, but this is happy news! Why risk delivering it in a way that could offend friends who may be suffering, especially in silence? I just don't think the prank is worth the potential hurt.
  • I think offense is in the eye of the beholder. I agree with PP that this is something positive. Attaching the negative of "we aren't" is what struck me. Why even use that terminology about your sweet baby?

    All in all, I think the overwhelming sense is "do your thing." If you like it, go for it. It wouldn't make me laugh nor would I wouldn't experience any pin or offense.
  • I'm with those that recommend not doing it. The risk of hurting others is too high. It potentially turns your sweet announcement in to a hurtful one. I also feel like baby deserves more than to be part of a joke that is potentially hurtful. There are TONS of cute ways to announce in life and on facebook, this doesn't have to be your only option!
  • I think announcing today as playful way to share your pregnancy is totally fine, but I'm just not a fan of this announcement. This one seems to directly poke at people who deal with the bfn on a regular basis, but I also have a friend who just went through their first month of official trying only to have aunt flo visit, so I know this phrasing specifically would twinge at them a bit.
  • I don't think that is offensive or inappropriate at all because you actually are pregnant . its not like at the end you're going to say just kidding. Your serious. Why would your friends be mad or offended by an actually pregnancy announcement
  • I don't think it's offensive in the least but I'm not easily offended either. I think it's a fun announcement.
  • I think it's a cute announcement!

    Facebook friends struggling with infertility or BFN's may have a little "happy for you but sad for themselves" feelings regardless of the date you decide to announce on Facebook.
  • Thanks, everyone! I appreciate your thoughtful responses. 

    @Starryblue04: I agree completely! As someone who struggled with infertility, I personally know that "happy for you but sad for myself" feeling would come regardless of the date a friend announced. Maybe I should skip a FB announcement altogether; my close friends and family already know. 
  • I had a miscarriage last year but I don't find this offensive.
  • I don't think this is offensive at all. Like previous posts have stated, you are not making fun of the pregnancy, it's just a cute announcement. I can kind of see how lying and saying you are, when you are not, could POSSIBLY be hurtful... but that is not the case. I think no matter how you announce, it hurts a little for those struggling. I know for a fact I have multiple friends on my FB who are unable to conceive, and while I felt for them, I still felt like it was my right to share my announcement. I did however, contact a few and tell them personally just to give them a heads up, and I wasn't offended when they didn't "like" or comment on my announcement.
  • Completely agree with the above! You should post the joy in your life - those struggling or hurt by the announcement have nothing against you personally, just their own feelings. I actually took a little bit of a Facebook break when the announcements and baby pictures became a bit too much for me to deal with through my months of BFN's. The majority of your friends will be thrilled to see this happy news :)
  • This is not offensive at all. I think the news in itself is what actually may offend some, which is obviously not your fault. You can't take on the weight of other people's situation. If this is your humor and how you chose to announce, no one should stop you from being yourself.
  • I struggled with infertility for 3 1/2 years before finally getting pregnant. For someone who is struggling with infertility, any pregnancy announcement will be painful even when they are genuinely thrilled for you, it will still hurt. It's not the announcement itself, just that persons struggle. Be sensitive, you never know who is struggling with infertility. Most women aren't completely open about it and it probably impacts more of your friends than you think.
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