Vent: Oh you've never been pregnant/your spouse/partner has never been pregnant?

nakoppel · April 2015

Oh then please tell me all the things I can or cannot do because clearly you became an OB since the last time I saw you! I'm so sick of people (particularly our single guy friends) trying to give me unsolicited advice about my pregnancy or how it 'really is'. First of all if you're a guy you will probably never truly understand, second of all if you're girlfriend/fiancé/wife has never been pregnant so you don't even have a frame of refrence please just F**king shuddup! We had a small business reception at our house last night and just some of idiotic things I had to listen to were that: red wine helps with brain development, any amount of caffeine is okay as long as I drink just as much water, (oh and my personal favorite) when I say I haven't really been all that emotional "oh you'll get a lot worse trust me". Oh you know from all the times youve been pregnant!!!!!!! I finally exploded at one guy and said "How exactly do you know this?! His (pointing to another guy) wife has been pregnant twice so he at least gets it a little." Sorry for the vent I'm just so annoyed.

mkillian27 · April 2015

Amen Sister! I am extremely frustrated with people trying to make decisions for me and telling me what I can and can't do.

schup156 · April 2015

I'm not even a fan of people who have been pregnant telling me what I should or should not do! We had a large family get-together this weekend, where there were 12 grandkids running around. I mentioned once that it kind of stunk because this pregnancy I was actually craving beer. I had to hear from all of my sister-in-laws and MIL that "It's okay to have just one beer or a glass of wine." And that I was being silly for not giving in to at least a few drinks. Hello...this is not my first pregnancy and if I've made the choice not to drink any alcohol that's my choice!

nakoppel · April 2015

schup156 said:
I'm not even a fan of people who have been pregnant telling me what I should or should not do! We had a large family get-together this weekend, where there were 12 grandkids running around. I mentioned once that it kind of stunk because this pregnancy I was actually craving beer. I had to hear from all of my sister-in-laws and MIL that "It's okay to have just one beer or a glass of wine." And that I was being silly for not giving in to at least a few drinks. Hello...this is not my first pregnancy and if I've made the choice not to drink any alcohol that's my choice!

That has been the biggest thing I've heard! It's my choice!

dkizz82 · April 2015

Amen! My BIL is the worst about this. Seriously??? He's seen his wife pregnant once and she and the easiest pregnancy. Also, I don't care about his opinion. He's a man. Apparently he thinks he's a doctor. He also talks about caffeine and alcohol. So frustrating!

nakoppel · April 2015

dkizz82 said:
Amen! My BIL is the worst about this. Seriously??? He's seen his wife pregnant once and she and the easiest pregnancy. Also, I don't care about his opinion. He's a man. Apparently he thinks he's a doctor. He also talks about caffeine and alcohol. So frustrating!

My least favorite is when my husband or I say that hormonal speaking I really haven't been that bad. Like I've only been REALLY overly emotional a couple of times. All our guy friends go 'oh it will get worse' everyone is different! Why don't you be fucking positive. Or better yet mind your own business.

chavemann10 · April 2015

schup156 said:
I'm not even a fan of people who have been pregnant telling me what I should or should not do! We had a large family get-together this weekend, where there were 12 grandkids running around. I mentioned once that it kind of stunk because this pregnancy I was actually craving beer. I had to hear from all of my sister-in-laws and MIL that "It's okay to have just one beer or a glass of wine." And that I was being silly for not giving in to at least a few drinks. Hello...this is not my first pregnancy and if I've made the choice not to drink any alcohol that's my choice!

This times a million! My SIL is the worst about this. "Oh, I had a glass of wine every night and since it was Red, it was perfectly healthy." Yep...and you went into labor at 32wks and your son had to spend 4 weeks in the NICU(for no explained reason). Um...NOPE!!! I think I'll wait out the rest of my time. Also, because I choose to EBF, I choose not to drink while I'm BF'ing either...which sparks all kinds of debates about "pump then dump" and crap like that!! I'll be alcohol free for the next 2-3yrs...thank you!

nakoppel · April 2015

Every person and pregnancy is different! Why can't people just let us have our opinions!

sconniegrl · April 2015

I'm glad I'm not the only one. I've gotten so many 'you shouldn't be lifting that' comments from coworkers with no experience it's driving me nuts. This includes my laptop bag (what do you think i put in there, lead?) And a box of product. Its 8 lbs. 8 f*cking lbs. I just smile and remind them 'I'm pregnant, not broken.'

jessandandy09 · April 2015

I golfed on Sat. and Sunday and walked the first 9 holes. It felt great! I was so excited, except my mom and dad pestered me Sat. night, Sunday night and Monday that I was getting too much exercise. My answer was that exercise is good for me, to which they said but your pregnant. I had to keep telling them I am pregnant not deathly ill. Exercise is good for pregnancy. My mom should KNOW this, I know she did everything while she was pregnant with us! Exhausting, unsolicited, comments!

strauber · April 2015

I went for a jog the other day. Super slow. But was love being outside getting some of the kinks out of my back. My parents were taking a walk on the same trail and my mom starts yelling "are you supposed to be doing that?? I thought we talked about this!"

Seed0824 · April 2015

Even from people who have kids, every person and even pregnancy is unique and people don't seem to understand what they did might be terrible for someone else.

bhargrave88 · April 2015

Oh I've been told that I was "stupid" for getting pregnant again (wasn't trying). Why? Because I "couldn't possibly handle two!" And I'm "taking away from L, and won't be able to afford it" and "you should drop out of school, you won't be able to handle that and raising a baby".
1. I worked with 100 kids at a time for 7 years.. I'm pretty sure I can handle two, whom I can actually discipline.. Or raise correctly so they aren't making me need to discipline lol!

2. My daughter, L, has Autism. She isn't terminal, and she's not low functioning. She is non verbal. Telling me I'm stupid for having another baby because now I'll be taking away from her is ridiculous. I have plenty of love, attention, and affection to go around. Layla does most normal 2 year old things.. She just doesn't talk. Perhaps these people would care to actually spend time with my child and see how ridiculous they sound! And how hurtful. We have private insurance, not Medicaid. We don't collect food stamps or WIC, we pay our way. I could see where your opinion of how I didn't need another child would be valid if I was collecting assistance, but I don't. (Note: I'm not knocking people who need and use these programs. If you need it, use it! However the people telling me I shouldn't have anymore kids have kids who are collecting these assistance programs and planning to have more! ) so whether I have 2 kids or 50 is none of your business. Butt out. Especially where it comes to telling me I'm stupid for having one more because one has autism.. Seriously? You aren't perfect.. Want me to tell you you shouldn't procreate too, because your first is mean as a snake? Yeah.. I'll take my sweet, love able, intelligent, independent, high functioning daughter just the way she is! Sorry.. This just gets my goat, when people treat autism like its terminal, or requires 24/7 care.. You have no idea what it's like. Shut up! Lol.

3. These same people told me I should drop out 3 years ago as well, telling me Id never be able to raise a baby and complete my degree. I graduated with honors with my AA degree only one semester off from my original goal graduation term (i took one semester off when I was due with my DD1 so I could adjust to motherhood first so I didn't hurt my GPA). I did this once.. I can do it again. I'm 3 semesters away from my BA degree.. Hell no I'm not quitting! How about support! Geez. The great thing about humans, you adapt lol.

I feel better after I ranted too

but I said all that to say, people will be full of opinions. It sucks, and they should keep it to themselves.. But chances are they won't, and we will end up ranting here

feel free.

Lindsaybhanks · April 2015

@sconniegrl haha pregnant not broken. Love it! People do this to me at work too. All these men carrying 15 lb boxes like "That's too heavy for you!" Im like, uhhhh I'm still doing crossfit. I lift more weight than that working out for an hour twice a week... Lol

nakoppel · April 2015

@bhargrave88 you rock! Go you! I know a couple who have one autistic child and one who is not autistic and they do just fine! Don't let the haters get you down. Also my step daughters name is Layla

bpwife&mama · April 2015

It's only just began. Wait until you have a kid and everyone suddenly become a baby expert!

SantistevanMommie · April 2015

The other day my MIL told me that I was breaking out because of baby (thanks for telling me what I already knew) but then proceeded to tell me to wash my face more and when I told her that breaks me out more she just insisted that it would clear it up.

smarks1432 · April 2015

I'm a martial artist and I have to lift 20lb or less amplifiers as part of my job. My boss keeps on saying I shouldn't be lifting things, but she doesn't realize I lift humans and throw them in the dojo every day. People need to stop telling me that I can't be the strong, badass woman that I am just because I'm growing a human. I feel great and I'm going to stay active as long as I can! RAWR!

jadetree1080 · April 2015

Snotty response to unsolicited advice "And when You're pregnant, you can do just that"

hjenkii · April 2015

I am so sick of people telling me how much weight I still have left to gain. I'm 20 weeks and they actually measured me at 21 weeks at the anatomy scan I had Monday and I just now am getting back to my pre pregnancy weight. I was really sick in the beginning I started off at 122 and then dropped to 114 and now I'm at 120 and it stresses me out to hear my doctor and then turn around and hear people say you need to put on some weight. Like hello I'm trying! I don't need everyone telling me. I'm worried about it enough on my own. I just want to scream sometimes.

NicoMarie1 · April 2015

My boss is the worse. He is an over opinionated person anyway. He seems to think life will be so hard after birth that I will just kill over. I also get the alcohol and caffeine are ok! The negativity is just not needed. I already have my own worries without listening to the "advise" of others!

saroos3137 · April 2015

sconniegrl said:
I'm glad I'm not the only one. I've gotten so many 'you shouldn't be lifting that' comments from coworkers with no experience it's driving me nuts. This includes my laptop bag (what do you think i put in there, lead?) And a box of product. Its 8 lbs. 8 f*cking lbs. I just smile and remind them 'I'm pregnant, not broken.'

I've been getting this, too. I had a coworker (also a mom) telling me that I shouldn't be lifting and carrying a 5lb chair down the hallway. I was like, "Well, I lift my 25lb child multiple times a day, so I don't think this chair is going to hurt me." Luckily, I haven't gotten too many comments this time around.

visualcircus · April 2015

I like to just smile and say, "Thanks, but I am following my doctor's orders." Or "That's nice -- I am doing what's best for our family." In one ear, out the other, repeat if needed.

mrswiebe09 · April 2015

Not pregnancy related but I posted a pic to FB of DS sleeping with a binky in and a family friend (she has two grown kids) replied saying "Ummm binkys aren't good for teeth, but he is cute!"
I know this, but it's what works for us. Gives me some sane-ness. He finds great comfort from it. Also ten minutes before he was bawling from a terrible diaper rash on his thigh that sprang up almost instantly. I DONT CARE. IM (HE IS) USING A PACIFIER.
This prob should have gone on wtf wed but tonight, I just don't care.

nakoppel · April 2015

visualcircus said:
I like to just smile and say, "Thanks, but I am following my doctor's orders." Or "That's nice -- I am doing what's best for our family." In one ear, out the other, repeat if needed.

The doctor thing this probably the best thing to say

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