Babies: 3 - 6 Months
racheld924
member
I'm sad and need to vent.
racheld924
member
Ok, so I will start by saying that my husband and I don't have very much money. So my parents take our 3 month old baby when we are both at work. Every single time she cries, they give her a bottle. They think crying means hunger. She has reflux and has to be changed, fed, burped, then held upright for about 20 to 30 minutes. She's on formula, and will spit up if you're not careful. My dad is the worse one. He'll give her 6 oz, then 3 oz if she cries, etc. Half the time, she will spit up on him and he doesn't care that she gives him a spit bath. If she happens to fall asleep while feeding, instead of putting her in a bouncy seat or something with an incline to help her digest it, he puts her in the bassinet and she eventually gives the bassinet a nice little bath. My husband got so mad the other day about it that he said he wanted to get another full time job so I can stay home to take care of her. Its rude the way they act when you tell them not to do that. My dad says, "If she cries she wants a bottle!" If I approach this with them, they will get mad and more than likely yell at me. Now that its warming up (and we live in Southern AZ, very hot) they told me that she will want more bottles otherwise she will be dehydrated. Sometimes when she cries, its not for food. Its because she needs a nap and doesn't want to sleep. I'm worried they are going to make her fat. Dad does that to everything small. When my sister and I were little, he used to get mad at us for not being able to clean our plates. He used to tell us we had horrible eating habits, its a wonder we are even alive because we don't eat enough, etc. He even overfeeds his dog (a Chihuahua) and since the dog never finishes what's in her food bowl, he automatically decides that she needs to see a doctor because there is something wrong with her appetite. I'm deciding on what to do next. I can't afford a new sitter. The idea of a day care scares me but I cant figure out what else to do. I work at a school, so there's no daycare there. Does anyone know of a way I can get help with affording day care?
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Re: I'm sad and need to vent.
Well for starters you are an amazing mom!!! Your daughter will wrap her little arms around you and tell you that some day soon
Since you don't have a large income can you turn to the state? I live in Indiana and depending on income they offer assistance to those that need help. Of course you have to qualify so they look at tax returns and current income and all that great stuff. My sister used the program our state offers while she was trying to get on her feet! As long as you don't abuse it. Hearing her stories about women that would come in all decked out and looking for assistance just irritated me. Anyways!
Have you looked into home daycares? Most of the time they charge a fraction of what a facility will charge. In looking into these you of course need to get references and DONT hesitate to call them! You will want to explain her reflux issues and see if they are intimidated or can actually help you/her.
Before my sister asked for assistance to begin with she nannied. You would be in someone elses home with someone elses kids but then you will have the option (if its discussed and agreed upon) to have your beautiful babes with you. There are other options out there. especially if you can communicate with your parents!
Good luck and again don't forget you are doing a great job!
Your main concern is you think they are making her fat? Dude, there are much larger problems here.
You need to stand up for yourself, and your child because they are not doing what she needs. They sound like assholes honestly.
If they cannot be responsible caretakers, you HAVE to find another place for your baby to go. They are watching her for free, which is great for you, but that doesn't mean they can ignore your wishes.
Start looking online for programs that will help you financially with child care.
https://www.azdes.gov/main.aspx?menu=128&id=2686
You need to find a difference place that will respect your wishes when it comes to your kid. Period.
Deciding to stay at home is hard, especially when money is tight. I would start by looking into what can be provided by the state like the first person suggested. See if you stay home if you would qualify for food stamps or other subsidies that would make it possible!
Also think about how much money you might save by staying home. You will only need one car, you could drive your husband to work, so you would have a car during the day. Or maybe he could carpool. You would instantly save on gas, insurance and car payment. Also if you stay home you don't need money for clothes for work, you can make lunches for your husband to take to work. All these little things add up!
If you stay at home, I am sure you could make money working online, etc.. Transcribing, consulting... You said you work at a school, if you are a teacher or teachers assistant you could always tutor at night, and your husband could watch your little one. Or maybe you could find a part time job at night, at a restaurant or something. It's not ideal but better than keeping your little one some where you don't feel comfortable with.
Good job for identifying the problem! I am sure you and your husband will be able to sort it all out!
Good luck to you!
You are worried they are making your baby fat? Really? Holy red flag!
I think you need to seriously consider getting counseling before your LO can comprehend the body image issues to are projecting on her.
And as for daycare, you have a few options
JIC