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The Ultimate Faux Pas - Name Stealing

jessicayounghousejessicayounghouse member
in July 2015 Moms
Totally ready for judgy comments, but I just have to have opinions here...

We love the name Kennedy for a girl. We didn't find out what we're having so it will be a surprise. The only issue with Kennedy is, my cousins named their daughter Kennedy. She's about 10 years old. We have a pretty close extended family so we see everyone several times a year (if that even makes a difference). Anyway, don't get me wrong, I don't just want to name our possible daughter Kennedy without asking. I even thought about doing something totally cute with my second cousin and asking her permission before we do it. But is that even acceptable?

Looking forward to your thoughts Bumpies!
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Re: The Ultimate Faux Pas - Name Stealing

  • samanthaj0esamanthaj0e member
    My mother wanted to name my little brother the same name as a very close friend had he been a girl. She asked them. They said no, but she would have used it anyway. It's a courtesy thing. I would ask to be polite, but then I would probably use it no matter what their response was.
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  • kladd7182kladd7182 member
    edited March 2015
    My oldests middle name is after my. Niece. She was 13 at the time, and I asked her if she minded if her new cousin had her name as a middle name. I told her I thought highly of her, and wanted a name incorporated from the family in my daughters name. BIL was totally on board with the idea. Don't bring it to them as though you just love the name, present it that you find Kennedy special and you would love to name your daughter after her.
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  • sschwegesschwege member
    In a situation such as this, essentially they are second cousins I would be OK with it.  That's far enough removed in my book, even if you do see them.  I would draw the line at siblings, so if my brother or BIL named their kids something no matter how much I adored the name I would put it aside.  Everything else is fair game in my book! 

    I would only ask permission if you are willing to actually pick a different name if they say 'no'.  If you will proceed with the name regardless then that seems like you are asking for drama if you go ahead with it despite their feelings.  
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  • jessicayounghousejessicayounghouse member
    I would absolutely pick another name if they prefer we not use Kennedy. I wouldn't ask just as a courtesy thing.
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  • inLOVEalready715inLOVEalready715 member
    edited March 2015
    I personally stayed away from any names that anyone close had, family and friends.  We did happen to use the same name my 5th cousin used as a first name for our middle name, I did not ask because I haven't seen her since we are kids, they live out of state...and we chose the name because its a short form of DH's grandfather's name.  I don't personally feel you need to ask permission when you're naming after a deceased relative or a living relative especially on the other side of the family.  If you love the name ask if you can use it, but if they say no and there is no special significance I would just find another name.  What about Cassidy?  similar-ish to Kennedy
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  • sekosmidessekosmides member
    Our daughter might end up with the same middle name as my ex's latest kid. In my defense, it was my middle name first...... #-o
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  • jesicabrennanjesicabrennan member
    I loved the name Kennedy until I looked it up in a baby name book and found out it means "ugly headed". Just saying...maybe another name is better since this name is already in the family AND it means ugly-headed.
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  • AmommyBAmommyB member
    I think you are ok with whatever route you pick honestly. The other child is 10 so it's not like you are both delivering at the same time and naming your child the same. Another poster had a good idea, to present it as more flattery if you are worried. I like the name and say if you like it, use it. :)
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  • CkorinesCkorines member
    One of my best friend's parents named their dog Kalli, three weeks after I gave birth to my daughter and had given my daughter that name. They tried to pass it off as flattery, but that did not lessen my urge to junk punch them. No m'am.  
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  • qtjo5qtjo5 member
    Everyone in our family shares names because I am Greek and DH is Lebanese. Our cultures and religions are pretty rich so we follow tradition. It isnt odd to have first cousins w the same name and aunts and uncles with the same names. If that is your norm then name your child whatever you would like! :-)
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  • LeahaucLeahauc member
    I can understand where you want to be polite and don't want to "steal" her name. It's a matter of what y'all are comfortable with. But to me, your cousin replying with "no you can't have my name" would be pretty selfish since she didn't create it and doesn't own it. Just my opinion.
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  • jessicayounghousejessicayounghouse member
    inLOVEalready715 said:

    I personally stayed away from any names that anyone close had, family and friends.  We did happen to use the same name my 5th cousin used as a first name for our middle name, I did not ask because I haven't seen her since we are kids, they live out of state...and we chose the name because its a short form of DH's grandfather's name.  I don't personally feel you need to ask permission when you're naming after a deceased relative or a living relative especially on the other side of the family.  If you love the name ask if you can use it, but if they say no and there is no special significance I would just find another name.  What about Cassidy?  similar-ish to Kennedy

    We have a thing with president names going on... Monroe is our daughter's name and Theodore is our son's name.
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  • jessicayounghousejessicayounghouse member
    This is all good advice Bumpies. We may broach the subject at the family Easter dinner on Sunday. We're just kind of stuck on Kennedy because there aren't very many president names that are girl friendly. We're on a president theme with naming our kids... weird, I know, but whatever! Monroe is our daughter's name and our son's name is Theodore. If this third one is a boy, he'll be Harrison. And Madison is a no go - my husband is in education and there are WAY too many Madisons out there for our liking! Also in the running for girls names though are Jackson and Lincoln. Even if my cousins say they don't mind us using Kennedy, I'm still not sold on using it! Maybe we'll just let our other two pick the name if it's a girl! Has anyone ever done that? Given their older kids a few choices and let them pick?
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  • cls2015cls2015 member
    What about Taylor or Tyler? They are both presidential names.
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  • NYMominCANYMominCA member
    I think it truly depends on your family and your comfort. In my family and DH's family, there's an unspoken rule of "you don't name your child after any living relative". And we come from really large families (which makes naming quite a trick!). A few months after DS was born, my cousin and his wife had a baby girl they named Mila, which was our top girl's name pick. I'm still kind of bummed that we won't get to use it, but it's how it is and I'm OK with that. There are a ton of other names out there....
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  • rwhitemanrwhiteman member
    I think you're being very considerate by asking her before giving your child the same name, but I disagree with a PP in phrasing it like you're naming your child after theirs. Just let them know that you love the name and it fits well into your presidential theme, but that you wouldn't want to hurt their feelings or cause drama by giving your child the same name without asking first.
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  • ourlittledarlingourlittledarling member
    I would say that is totally acceptable. My first cousin, (who is 20 years older than me), named his first daughter my full name, (so we have identical names), without asking or mentioning it to anyone in our family and I could not care less.  His daughter and I are 11 years apart and it is no big deal. 

    I personally would not ask for permission unless I was going to take their response as my decision. This is a rhetorical question, but why would I bother asking if they may say "No" and still plan on using the name?
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  • hwood5hwood5 member
    My cousins both have daughters named Madeline. One Madeline May and one Madeline Reese. Madeline May was born first, and my other cousin's wife had picked that name already apparently. When their daughter was born they named her Madeline as well but gave her a different middle name so it wouldn't be exactly the same. The Madelines are technically third cousins but both my cousins were not happy that they each used the others name. 
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  • jessicayounghousejessicayounghouse member
    ourlittledarling said:

    I would say that is totally acceptable. My first cousin, (who is 20 years older than me), named his first daughter my full name, (so we have identical names), without asking or mentioning it to anyone in our family and I could not care less.  His daughter and I are 11 years apart and it is no big deal. 


    I personally would not ask for permission unless I was going to take their response as my decision. This is a rhetorical question, but why would I bother asking if they may say "No" and still plan on using the name?
    As I said before, if I ask and they say no, I wouldn't use the name... Why ask if you're not going to take their response into consideration?
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  • stormyyautumnstormyyautumn member
    I, personally would ask. My sons name is Ryland and it's pretty rare where we are from and one of my best friends cousins had a little boy a few years ago and she was considering naming him Ryland so she got a hold of me and asked me if I would be ok with it. I told her to go for it, I don't own it. LOL - she didn't end up using the name but it was nice that she asked me first. 
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  • sutavim2sutavim2 member
    Its a name... Not "their name" They dont have copyrights to it.. They don't own it. If you like it, use it.
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