June 2015 Moms

No sex for over 3 months

I'm 27+ weeks and the last sex was at 11 weeks. my husband no longer gets intimate with me.. No sex, kiss , oral sex. His reason is that he will hurt the me and the baby. He won't kiss my nipple cos he may have milk flowing in his mouth. He still adores me and constantly reminds me that he loves me .
He is very happy for this pregnancy as we have tried for few years.
I know that I had bleeding for over 5 weeks during my early stages and that may have scared him more , he is a medical doctor and I thought he should know better.

A friend told me that since I am not having sex my vagina will stay quite tight during labour and may cause difficulties pushing out baby. hmmm , I don't know if this is true as I am a FTM.

Does anyone know. I am sexually frustrated. but my hubby literally runs away when I make anymore. I hope not to do something silly.

Re: No sex for over 3 months

  • You could take care of your own needs. We aren't allowed to have sex because of my cerclage. It's been 4 months... I understand the frustration. Though I don't get why he won't kiss you...
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  • My husband was similar for our first...now he's fine with sex, but not oral sex...he says he wants to meet the baby face to face after he's born. So, I cut him off from receiving -- my husband isn't huge on kissing and making out if he's not gonna get some...but, he only seemed to be ok with that when we first met, so it's nothing new...if you just feel sexually frustrated, not unloved, you'll be fine, the baby will still come...his penis isn't the same size of the baby, so it's not stretching anything for you ;) if you are saying you feel loved but dont really? I would see if there are deeper issues (there were for us)
    It's not uncommon for men to be weirded out...especially if the baby is moving around a lot.
  • I have been on pelvic rest since 9 weeks due to on and off spotting throughout pregnancy. I can't wait for that magical 6 weeks post delivery (which will now be a c section for me due to medical complications) to be intimate again. However, I feel closer to my husband than ever now thanks to this pregnancy. It's all about how you look at it - and personally, if we can become closer when we are not allowed to be physically intimate, that makes me very confident in our relationship.
  • I am surprised that he is acting this way given that he's an MD! That's concerning.
  • Is this real?
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  • I can't speak to a lot of that and all I can say is you should not have any birthing problems by not having sex. I did not have sex during my first pregnancy, nor have I had sex during my second pregnancy.
  • Your doctor husband should be able to answer this question?
    Pregnancy Ticker

    Married 9/27/14, BFP 10/13/14, EDD 6/21/14

  • He may not know how to talk to you about his concerns because he is afraid he'll say something to upset you. Especially if it's something that you can't control.
  • Difficulties with labor will be for other reasons if at all...not because you're not having sex. Do your kegels. I have been on a no sex restriction since week 18 due to my shortening cervix. Honestly...not sure if I'd even want it...just seems so exhausting (the idea of being on top...considering on the back is uncomfortable at this time anyway). Just enjoy being with each other other ways. Giving each other massages or just cuddling. It'll make the time when you have sex for the first time after baby is here all the more special and fantastic. Don't be frusterated...if he tells you he loves you and that you're beautiful, let that be enough to satisfy you for now. You don't want to force him into sex...then it won't be enjoyable. I know some ladies have increased libido during pregnancy. ..unfortunately, the sensation isn't always mutual. It's normal. Just go with the flow. Find another activity to do together.
  • Many thanks for the great comments.
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