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suggestions on MIL problem please

mrscimino914mrscimino914 member
edited March 2015 in May 2015 Moms
So today marks 6 weeks left!!! Which I'm so freaking excited. I'm from New Jersey moved to California and have no family out here except for my husband and MIL. My family will fly out a month later so I will be home with the baby and they can spend more time with us at home then rather me in the hospital for a couple days.FTM by the way, when we first found out I was pregnant I told my MIL that it would be great for her to be in the delivery room with me. So I can have a mom figure in there. We are so close and never have any problems, she is the sweetest lady. She takes my side over my husbands lol and never gives me a problem about anything. And me not realizing how delivery really will be and didn't think of the details of it all, I thought it would be good for her to be there. But now going on the hospital tour and everything, which they are big on "chest time" where they place the baby on your bare chest to help with breastfeeding and for bonding. I feel everything will be out and during labor idk how I will be. I feel ill be uncomfortable with her there. I feel like such an ass for saying already that I want her there. And I told my husband and he said I can do whatever I want, but said she might be saddened by this because I already told her she can come in. How can I break it to her without being a complete ass?? I feel so bad, if you ladies knew her you'd understand. She's this sweet little lady I just feel like a ass. Any suggestions!?!
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Re: suggestions on MIL problem please

  • ali0608ali0608 member
    I think you just have to be honest. Maybe you can tell her that you can't wait for her to be the first to meet your little one, but you are afraid of how exposed you will be.

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  • catrudkincatrudkin member
    Just an idea, when I had my babies I didn't care who seen what lol you kinda get so focused on the moment that nothing else matters. Afterwards may be awkward. Maybe you could just sit and talk with her about your concerns?
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  • mrscimino914mrscimino914 member
    I heard that too once the baby is out you don't care who sees what lol. I'm thinking to tell her when during labor she can stay, when I start pushing she can step out. So I can have my privacy.
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  • CanadaMom17CanadaMom17 member
    Or just ask her to let you and your DH have the bonding time right after with the baby.  If she knows she's not going to get to snuggle the little bug for a couple of hours anyway, she's not likely going to want to stare at your bare self that long anyway.  :)
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  • tobrieornottobrietobrieornottobrie member
    I think you've gotten some solid advice, I think having an honest and gentle heart-to-heart with her about this is probably going to be the most helpful. I'm sure that if you explain your concerns and fears, she will be receptive to what you are saying which will give you the chance to either ask her to wait until after the baby is born, or make you more comfortable with the idea of her being in the delivery room. Either way, I wish you the best of luck! Blessings! 





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  • leelee72leelee72 member
    I feel you should just be honest and explain it to her like you just did to us. Of your relationship is that close she will understand that you need that time. Best of luck!!
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  • sassyg25sassyg25 member
    It seems like you two are close! She's probably very understanding. Why don't you casually bring it up next time you two are talking. Be honest without being hurtful, start off with "so... I took the hospital your today and apparently labor and delivery is not what I imagined"
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  • khaleesi123khaleesi123 member
    I've been thinking the same for my MIL.. She is awesome and we get along so well but I wonder if inviting her in would be too much. If you want her there you could explain to her you want her to stay at the top where your head is because you don't want that awkwardness and she would understand but the breast feeding part I really don't think you would care if she was there because you just had your baby and it's all exciting and what not.
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  • jerseymommatobejerseymommatobe member
    I like your mindset on having her there for labor but asking her to step out when it's time to push and then the clean up part. I'm sure she will understand!
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  • beasegbeaseg member
    I've asked my mom to be in the waiting room. I imagine I'll have her come in for a bit, and then leave. And just back adn forth that way. And for pushing and all that, she won't be there. I don't mind her being there with my boobs out though, I breastfeed my daughter in front of her. I think it makes her more uncomfortable than me. 

    I would just tell her you're feeling anxious and you want her there, but you're not sure you want her there for everything and you don't want to be dispespectful of her time- so would she rather just come after baby is born or come and hang out between labor room and waiting room, depending on what mood labor puts you in. She's gone through this herself, she will understand. I think just the chance to be there for even a few minutes will mean a lot to her. And she won't take it personally. We all react differently for each labor. So don't stress too much. 
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