May 2015 Moms

Baby's last name

So... my ex of 3 years left me on Christmas for another girl because I was "fat and unattractive" to him. (I was 5 months mind you not)
We tried to be together again here recently and had a great time together until the last day we hung out. He called me fat multiple times, told me he'd choose a hot girl over me every time no matter what, and texted me the next day saying we can't be together because of all these reasons that make no sense.
Anyways, point of the back story is, he wasn't with me at all and hasn't been with me through the pregnancy. He has no interest or anything for the baby. He refuses to buy anything baby related because he wants new video games and gaming consoles ect.
So my question is, is it wrong for me to give my son my last name? I told him that was what I was doing and he said he didn't care because it's just a name. So. Am I wrong to give my son my name??

Re: Baby's last name

  • No, not at all. Especially if he doesn't care. I'd give my son my name if it weren't that it means so much to BD and he's pretty excited to be a father. I won't take that from him, but I wouldn't force it on him either. I'd give the baby your name and not worry about it another minute.
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  • Similar situation, in a way. Im giving the baby my last name and won't regret it for a second. It's what I think is best .
  • I would give him your last name! If he decides he wants to be part of the baby's life after the birth, then the two of you can make a decision together to change the name. I have a friend that was in a similar situation and they changed the last name around 2 months after the birth. I thought it was a little quick for that but it's been 3 months and they are happy! Some people just need the baby to be here to actually grow up.

    Good luck momma!!
  • I'm not in a similar situation but I was born with a similar one. I was given my moms last name & really appreciated it growing up rather than some mans name that wanted nothing to do with parenting.
  • Thank you all !! I feel much much better about making the decision to give him my last name !! I wish you all luck in your pregnancy and thank you all for taking the time to answer my question ♡
  • Really? He's not involved and only cares about his wants and needs. This shouldn't even be a question. The right thing to do is keep him away from you and your child. He's letting you know right now plain as day how he would treat not only you on front of your child, but probably your child too.
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  • You're very right!! His mother just made me feel like crap about not giving the baby his last name. But he's not been involved and has been very rude to me. I'm not allowing him to have over night visits with the baby either. He doesn't even have a crib and his house is nasty ever since I moved out. So. He can see the baby at my mom's where I am or he can just not see him at all. But I agree with you. I'm terrified of how he will be with my son. :I
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