Waiting to miscarry

carrieandr · March 2015

I found out this morning that the baby's heart is no longer beating. I'm waiting and hoping to miscarry naturally. I would be 9 weeks tomorrow, but the baby stopped growing at 6 weeks.

Does anyone know how to change my profile to not pregnant without deleting the profile? Seeing how many weeks it says I am is painful right now. If that question comes up a lot, I apologize. I'm
still in shock and I don't have it in me to search through old posts.

--I'd ask how long I have to wait to miscarry and how long that process will take, but I know you can't answer that for me. Now I just have to wait. Still pregnant, but no longer pregnant. So surreal. I alternate between crying and numb.

yl1m32015 · March 2015

I'm sorry. Nothing about it is fair. It just sucks. You're not alone here.

carrieandr · March 2015

Thank you, @embuzz247. I think I'm already starting to adjust to the new reality. There will be more tears, I'm sure, but the shock is wearing off and it's sinking in, and that seems to help a little. I'm trying to focus on what is to come in the days/weeks ahead instead of what I've lost. Hopefully I'll be back on that happy journey soon. Hopefully we all will.

carrieandr · March 2015

I just figured out that removing the pregnancy profile doesn't cancel my account or prevent me from posting. So that's answered.

KMKaiser07 · March 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss. I was almost 8 weeks when my miscarriage started. We knew it was coming as our doctor wasn't optimistic when diagnosing me as a threatened miscarriage. Sitting and waiting it the absolute worst. You are not alone! We all know what you are feeling and the nice thing about posting here, you don't have to explain your feelings. Hugs to you!

4N6s · March 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss.
The waiting period is absolutely miserable.

saross4 · March 2015

I am sorry for your loss. Waiting is horrible, but it will end. Hang in there.

I would recommend emailing the bump to ensure that the weekly pregnancy updates stop being emailed to you. I changed my status to TTC a couple weeks ago after miscarrying, and even though I have unsubscribed from all emails multiple times, I still get the updates. It is emotionally distressing to say the least. I finally emailed yesterday, and wish I had done it sooner.

carrieandr · March 2015

Thanks for the heads up, @saross4. I definitely don't need anymore reminders. There are already so many -- the gingerale in the fridge, the preggie pops in my nightstand, my pregnancy books, etc... And yesterday it occurred to me that I was planning to check out the maternity store this weekend because I needed to find some shorts that didn't press on my stomach, then I remembered I don't need them anymore.

bntfroggie · March 2015

I'm in the same boat as you. I found out this morning that our little one stopped growing at 9.5 wks, I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow,this is a hard road :-( I'm sorry for your loss.

carrieandr · March 2015

I'm sorry to hear that, @bntfroggie. I'm glad we have this forum. If not, I'd feel like the only one in the world that went through this. I think it's a shame that everyone keeps so quiet about it.

GoldenTMama · March 2015

I'm so sorry for your loss. I also just found out yesterday that our little one stopped growing at about 7 1/2 weeks (should have been about 9 weeks). My OB told me it could take 2-3 weeks before my body miscarrys on its own. I'm going to let it sink in this week but I'm leaning toward medically inducing it so that we aren't in this emotional limbo for so long.

carrieandr · March 2015

I'm so sorry you're in the same situation. I'm on day 5 of waiting to miscarry. I hope it happens soon, but at the same time, it's almost like my mind and my body are both taking time to adjust to the news. When it happens, I think it will feel a bit like closure for me, and it wouldn't have felt that way if I had miscarried without warning. My doctor said he hasn't had luck with inducing the miscarriage with pills. He said most of his patients ended up needing a D&C to finish the job. You could post about that and see if others have had good luck with it. Whatever you choose, I hope things go well and you can move past this soon.

joybird85 · April 2015

I was told my baby died over 4 weeks ago, my body still hasn't miscarried and showed the opposite on ultrasound the gestational sac keeps growing as well as the yolk sac so its difficult waiting not knowing when its going to happen. No bleeding nothing my body has no clue. I am 10 1/2 weeks.

babybluesnapdragon · April 2015

I can't imagine having to wait:( I went in for an ultrasound on the 10th to see a healthy beating heart, baby measuring slightly small, to wake up in the middle of the night on the 12th with heavy bleeding, blood clots, and cramping. I thought that was tough, but I can't imagine having to wait to miscarry

bntfroggie · April 2015

@CarrieandRoy I go to the doctor today to discuss my options and hopefully get the results of the blood work they did. I completely shut down after they told me their was no heartbeat, so they wanted me to come back in. I'm bringing hubby with me so we can make an informed decision. Just thought I'd share here since I'm also waiting.

carrieandr · April 2015

@babybluesnapdragon, although any way you find out is tough, I think it would be more traumatic to have it happen without warning in the middle of the night. I'm so sorry that happened. @joybird85, I didn't know the rest of the stuff could keep growing. I haven't had any bleeding yet, either. I hate the thought that I could still be creating tissue that I'm ultimately going to have to expel. @bntfroggie, I hated going to the desk in the waiting room to check out after I found out. I was a sobbing mess. I just wanted to get out of there.

bntfroggie · April 2015

I decided for the d&c for my own reasons. I go in for the surgery Friday morning. I'm scared but think it is for the best.

Lexie Marie · April 2015

Sending you hugs dear. I decided to get a D&C done Tuesday and it was the best decision for me in hindsight. I was terrified and not sure about it but now I'm glad I went that route and at leat the physical aspect is behind me if that is what I call it. This is one of the hardest things I've personally ever experienced so don't feel alone, sending you lots of hugs and prayers for peace and comfort.

cdb305 · April 2015

Thank-you for writing this. I'm waiting for the heartbeat to stop---its too measuring too slow and the growth is not where its suppose to be. I was a hot mess at the doctor's office completely breaking down.

The waiting is awful.

Anyways, I appreciate having a place and knowing that other people understand.

carrieandr · April 2015

@cdb305, I'm sorry you're joining us. Tomorrow it will be a week since I found out, and I've gotten used to the waiting. I'm able to focus on work again and be more motivated, which feels good. Part of that might be due to my pregnancy symptoms fading. I'm sure once the miscarriage starts I will be a bit out of it again for a while. I think I have come to terms with the new path that I'm on, so the idea that I'm not pregnant isn't so jarring anymore. (I still have my moments, though. Yesterday wasn't so great -- as seen in my "sucker-punch" post.)

You know how sometimes when you have a lot to do, you stress about it and other times you just plunge in and power through it? I'm in that power through it zone right now. Just focusing on work and chores and letting time pass rather than watching the clock. My body has stages it has to go through before I can TTC again and instead of stressing, I'm just moving through it. Does that make sense?

I hope the shock wears off for you soon. I felt drugged the day I found out, but it gets better with time.

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