Argument with mom — The Bump
July 2015 Moms

Argument with mom

a friend of mine had her baby today, which I found out through facebook because her mom was commenting hourly with updates... Which reminded me to tell my mom that when I'm in labor I don't want it shared with everyone. She announced I was pregnant, the sex and the name all before I got to.
I just want to have my son and keep it to ourselves for a few days so I can enjoy it before I share with everyone else.

She got mad at me and said well excuse me for being excited and proud and blah blah and hung up.

I understand she is excited, it's her first grandchild but she knows I'm a pretty private person.

Am I being a total dick?

Re: Argument with mom

  • Nope. That's party why my hubby and I are not telling anyone about labor until the baby is here.
  • I don't think so. My mom was nice enough to ask if she could share every detail before sharing it. If you asked politely I'm not sure why she would get so upset.
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  • That's pretty ridiculous!  DH's aunt announce on FB when our second was born and honestly it still annoys me when I think about it.  Not only did she announce that we had had him, but that it was a boy and his full name!  How many times do you get to announce the birth of your child and she had to run and do it for us.  Plus we had a very good reason for not announcing, DS was in the Special Care Nursery for the first 36 hours for breathing problems and we wanted more information on what was going on before we announced it.

    Hold firm on this, you are in the right.  I would only caution you on waiting too long as it may not be your mom, but somebody else who posts for you.  Perhaps you want to make a general announcement,' baby has arrived safely, after we have had a couple days to settle in we will share more details' kind of thing? 
  • My mother was the same way with my first- announcing the sex and everything else on facebook. But I made sure that nobody posted anything about him until I did when he was born. I had enough visitors by word of mouth, imagine if everyone on fb knew.

  • Not at all! It's great she is excited but should respect your wishes this is your child. I told my husband this time around that I didn't want him telling everyone right away either. With my first they were still working on me as him and my mom were texting and calling everyone. I was so annoyed! Like hello can we enjoy this moment first and can We make sure m vagina isn't going to fall out. I might ban cell phone all together.
  • Oh no no no, I don't want any visitors til after a few days when I'm home. So far it's my husband in the room. And my mom and best friend in the waiting room.
  • I know how you feel. Pictures and details of my first child's birth were shared within 20 minutes of his birth so I had to do a rushed announcement before I was even sewed up! With the second I warned them that if they shared anything before I did they wouldn't get to even know about the next one until after it was put on facebook. They listened well that time!
  • No. This is something I'm concerned about too. I'm going to have the talk with everyone about social media and the delivery. I want no one to post it. What if something went wrong? I also am panicked that the moms will take pics of me and baby post delivery and post them on Facebook. I hate when people post pictures of me. I just keep reminding myself that she didn't have to worry about this with my birth, so I need to tell her. I say that now, but I have met brought it up yet.
  • AmommyBAmommyB
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited March 2015
    No no no. You are not a dick lol. Hubs and I didn't even tell anyone until after I gave birth with number one and we will have to do the same with this one. My mom and one of my good friends just get too excited and will not only want to spread the word but also rush to the hospital asap. She will get over it, do what makes you comfortable.
  • I think she was a dick for hanging up on you....
  • My mom works at the hospital that I'll be delivering at, so I am planning to hold off on calling her as soon as possible, haha. We've had a long talk about how DH and I want to be the ones to announce the birth on FB, and it seems like all of the parents are on board with it! My FIL and step-MIL live in Colorado, and the rest of my family is in Florida, so I basically said that if it winds up on FB before I can finish telling my family that he's here, I will cut someone. :) She was very impatient but respectful about not announcing our pregnancy on FB before we did, but she literally did ask me EVERY DAY from when we told her until I posted it on FB. I also don't want his full name and birth details all over FB, so I need to make sure I set that boundary as well.

    You can also adjust your privacy settings so that no one can post on your wall or tag you in things without your approval. They'll still show up on that person's page, but it wouldn't show up on yours until you cleared it. That could contain things a little bit if your mom starts to get a little cray-cray.

    You're not being a dick. This is your child, YOUR news! You should be the one who gets to share it first.

  • I personally do not have a facebook I feel as though it's filled with drama and people secretly stalking others, everyone who needs to know what's going on in my life has my phone number (family&friends) so that's how we communicate. I told my sisters I do not want my baby posted all over fb and one tried to argue I feel she just wants the "likes" I told her if you want a picture to have of you and your niece that's fine take one and hang it on your house wall not your facebook wall otherwise I get people I don't want in my business, in my business
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