Work shower etiquette — The Bump
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Work shower etiquette

I'm expecting #2, and I'm very anti-sprinkle personally (though I've attended ones for others). I know I'll be thrown a work shower and I don't know how to handle it. Do I just come up with some things I want and be thankful, or do I try to decline without looking snobby?

The social committee just announced a joint shower for 2 ladies due late spring, one having #2, other #3, and it's in a conference room at work so everyone can attend. Informal, potluck food, like many of our gatherings. And each girl was asked to post a list of things they need.

Another coworker is due in summer (also with #2), and me in Sept, and they've already hinted that the next party will be for us. I've only worked here for a year, and I don't want to offend anyone, especially the other moms who are graciously accepting the showers.
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Re: Work shower etiquette

  • VORVOR
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Photogenic
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    It appears they do showers for all babies.  If that's the norm, then don't worry about offending anyone.  You aren't going to suddenly be THE ONE that people start gasping over.  ;)
  • Ditto above.  If it's the norm within your workplace that every pregnant person has a luncheon in the conference room, then roll with it.  In workplaces it's sometimes easier and more convenient to just do a little something for every pregnant co-worker than it is to sort out the complexities of who gets showered and who doesn't.

    If you are uncomfortable registering or asking for gifts, just state that there's nothing specific you need for the baby's care, and people will buy whatever they feel comfortable with or just come and wish you well.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
    ForeverEverAfterdufferoo
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  • Like @neverblushed said, you can always go with option c) go along with the party but do not post a list of things you want. If anybody asks, just be like, "omg this is my second baby, believe me we already have everything we need," whether you plan to buy more stuff or not.
  • Not posting a list seems like it would make it harder for your coworkers, though. Etiquette is there to make people more comfortable. People like feeling like they are getting useful gifts generally. If the norm is to make a list, I say come up with a list, be gracious, and get your thank you notes out promptly! People don't have to follow the list if they don't want to.
    cherryonion
  • Frogger5 said:

    Not posting a list seems like it would make it harder for your coworkers, though. Etiquette is there to make people more comfortable. People like feeling like they are getting useful gifts generally. If the norm is to make a list, I say come up with a list, be gracious, and get your thank you notes out promptly! People don't have to follow the list if they don't want to.

    I think this works too.  I debated when writing my earlier reply about whether or not she should give a list to make it easier on the co-workers or avoid giving a list in order to appear less gift-grabby. 

    Ultimately, I think it's a "know your co-workers" kind of thing.
    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
  • My co-worker is throwing me a cake party and she knows to say "no gifts". If I was in your shoes, I would probably say something like "we have everything we need, but feel free to bring diapers to donate to the local shelter" or similar.


  • This is the same at my office. The only one I regretfully attended was a #4. I just got her a pack of diapers. She even had a registry.
    When I had #2, they had a shower at work and I did have a registry for myself to get completion discounts. My boss was actually mad there was nothing significant on my registry because they all wanted to chip in on something big. I threw a double stroller on there and she was happy. Most people gave gift cards, diapers and picture frames. I graciously accepted and thanked everyone and used all of it.
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  • Diapers and wipes.
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    MWoodside
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