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Late to Grandchilds Gender Reveal

JackieCook87JackieCook87 member
in August 2015 Moms
I just have to rant to other moms that may be as disappointed as I am in their mother in law. My husband and I planned a big Gender Reveal Party for family and close friends this last Saturday. The gender was even a secret to us! The whole three weeks of planning the party his mom would ask stupid questions that were clearly listed on my Facebook event that she RSVP'd too and comment on each post. Like...do we bring presents, which I clearly stated on a comment she replied to. And do you guys know, when he had told her numerous times we didn't. Then come day of the party, which happened to start at the last half of the UK game, with us being in KY is kinda a big deal. I had not intentionally planned it. But his mom text and said she would be late so we started the party with food and a cute prediction sheet...30 minutes later she still wasn't there. We had to wait another 15 minutes to reveal the gender because she was watching the game...talk about priorities!! And my husband wants he to keep our child but she can't be on time to an event such as this. Thanks to anyone that read this...just had to get it off my chest because the husband would think it's silly.

But, it's a girl!!!
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Re: Late to Grandchilds Gender Reveal

  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    Congrats on your baby girl, don't let her get to you - there are MIL jokes for a reason!
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  • xjessip86xxjessip86x member
    my mother was 1 hour and a half, I repeat.... an HOUR AND A HALF late to the gender reveal. and a non baby subject, my husband's mother was 2 HOURS LATE to our very first Christmas dinner at our house. So yea.. I feel your pain.
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  • Savanna111911Savanna111911 member
    It's one of those things. It's definitely rude, but you can either hang on to it and make yourself miserable or shrug it off and move on. I hope your party was a success otherwise and congrats on your baby girl.
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  • Snooches07Snooches07 member
    I'm so sorry about your MIL. Mine does stupid stuff like that all the time! I think it's like a power trip sometimes, like saying that "I'm the matriarch and you are not going to tell me what to do."

    I was constantly doing the power struggle with mine until recently when I just stopped relying on her to babysit while I went to work. I found a reliable at home day care and told her we won't be needing her anymore. I'm pretty sure she got the hint that I was tired of her being late and then telling me two prior that she could not longer sit that day, blah blah blah. My husband wasn't happy about the fact that we are now paying for a sitter but after a long talk about reliability and it having an effect on my relationship with his mom, he jumped on board.

    Sorry that was abut of a rant!

    Congrats on the baby being a girl! Love shopping for girls, it's so much fun.
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  • sailorgalsailorgal member
    I'm sorry, that's annoying.

    A lot of relatives have been blunt that they are disappointed we are having another boy. They wanted girl. I've made a mental note of each of them and will take it into consideration when prioritizing first visitors when baby is here lol.
    Me: 32, DH: 33
    DS #1: April 2010
    DS #2: July 2015 (preemie born at 31 weeks) - our little miracle conceived through ART - unexplained secondary infertility/adenomyosis
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  • JackieCook87JackieCook87 member
    xjessip86x said:

    my mother was 1 hour and a half, I repeat.... an HOUR AND A HALF late to the gender reveal. and a non baby subject, my husband's mother was 2 HOURS LATE to our very first Christmas dinner at our house. So yea.. I feel your pain.

    Oh my goodness!! I would have def not waited that long unless she had a very good excuse for both of them. I know everyone is busy but we set times for a reason to be able to schedule other events according...but maybe that's me because I am early to everything and hope it stays that way after baby.
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  • JackieCook87JackieCook87 member
    Snooches07 said:

    I'm so sorry about your MIL. Mine does stupid stuff like that all the time! I think it's like a power trip sometimes, like saying that "I'm the matriarch and you are not going to tell me what to do."

    I was constantly doing the power struggle with mine until recently when I just stopped relying on her to babysit while I went to work. I found a reliable at home day care and told her we won't be needing her anymore. I'm pretty sure she got the hint that I was tired of her being late and then telling me two prior that she could not longer sit that day, blah blah blah. My husband wasn't happy about the fact that we are now paying for a sitter but after a long talk about reliability and it having an effect on my relationship with his mom, he jumped on board.

    Sorry that was abut of a rant!

    Congrats on the baby being a girl! Love shopping for girls, it's so much fun.

    Yeah, I mean if u pick a basketball game over finding out what your grandchild is then what will be priority over say a feeding or diaper change?? Plus she smokes and I absolutely hate visiting because you need a shower when you leave even if she doesn't smoke while we are there. And my husband is a huge germ freak sou not sure why he would allow that. My aunt has an at home daycare but her hours don't for our scedule...def been keeping my ears open for another at home care for sure as a back up plan.

    And I know...I have a niece and my cousins little girl, almost 3, is almost a niece to me and shopping, sewing and monogramming for them is so easy and $$.
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  • love4yourlockslove4yourlocks member
    My MIL is always late. Literally to every single holiday, dinner, or anything. In the beginning it was so annoying to me, now I've just learned to expect it so it doesn't get to me. If we are planning on having dinner at 6 we will tell her 430 just to get her there and she STILL won't show up until 7. We just stopped waiting for her lol.
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  • stow2009stow2009 member
    JackieCook87 said:

    I just have to rant to other moms that may be as disappointed as I am in their mother in law. My husband and I planned a big Gender Reveal Party for family and close friends this last Saturday. The gender was even a secret to us! The whole three weeks of planning the party his mom would ask stupid questions that were clearly listed on my Facebook event that she RSVP'd too and comment on each post. Like...do we bring presents, which I clearly stated on a comment she replied to. And do you guys know, when he had told her numerous times we didn't. Then come day of the party, which happened to start at the last half of the UK game, with us being in KY is kinda a big deal. I had not intentionally planned it. But his mom text and said she would be late so we started the party with food and a cute prediction sheet...30 minutes later she still wasn't there. We had to wait another 15 minutes to reveal the gender because she was watching the game...talk about priorities!! And my husband wants he to keep our child but she can't be on time to an event such as this. Thanks to anyone that read this...just had to get it off my chest because the husband would think it's silly.

    But, it's a girl!!!

    Wow! That would be frustrating, I'm sorry. We had a gender reveal party, too, and it was funny how new it was to all the grandparents- they couldn't wrap their minds around the fact that we didn't know, either! This is a completely new world to anyone who had babies more than 10 years ago, I think. 

    I do have one question- I notice you are from the UK, and you said "my husband wants her to keep our child"- does this mean babysit? I've never heard of it, and I'm assuming you don't mean have your child :) 
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  • camedowncrushingcamedowncrushing member
    I think gender reveal parties are ridiculous.  I understand that you are annoyed that your mother in law was late, but come on....you threw yourself a party to reveal the gender of your baby!  You and your husband are going to be so excited for every moment of your pregnancy, and this child and subsequent children....but if you expect your in-laws, parents, brothers, sisters etc to feel the same way as you you are just being silly.  When I see people having these events with the expectations that everyone else cares so much about these things I can't believe it.  It just seems so egocentric, and screams "me me me."  
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  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    camedowncrushing said:

    I think gender reveal parties are ridiculous.  I understand that you are annoyed that your mother in law was late, but come on....you threw yourself a party to reveal the gender of your baby!  You and your husband are going to be so excited for every moment of your pregnancy, and this child and subsequent children....but if you expect your in-laws, parents, brothers, sisters etc to feel the same way as you you are just being silly.  When I see people having these events with the expectations that everyone else cares so much about these things I can't believe it.  It just seems so egocentric, and screams "me me me."  




    Bad day? Or just trying to live up to your username?
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  • camedowncrushingcamedowncrushing member
    Miz_Liz said:

    camedowncrushing said:

    I think gender reveal parties are ridiculous.  I understand that you are annoyed that your mother in law was late, but come on....you threw yourself a party to reveal the gender of your baby!  You and your husband are going to be so excited for every moment of your pregnancy, and this child and subsequent children....but if you expect your in-laws, parents, brothers, sisters etc to feel the same way as you you are just being silly.  When I see people having these events with the expectations that everyone else cares so much about these things I can't believe it.  It just seems so egocentric, and screams "me me me."  




    Bad day? Or just trying to live up to your username?
    Ha ha ha ...neither. It is just how I feel.  When I see these posts about multiple showers, and people complaining about shower stuff, and gender reveal parties etc....I just can't believe that these are things that are really happening in real life.  I can't imagine thinking that I should throw myself a party to reveal the gender of my baby when a simple "hey mom we are having a girl" seems sufficient.  I just think it is super attention seeking.  
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  • CaliforniaDream87CaliforniaDream87 member
    camedowncrushing said:

    I think gender reveal parties are ridiculous.  I understand that you are annoyed that your mother in law was late, but come on....you threw yourself a party to reveal the gender of your baby!  You and your husband are going to be so excited for every moment of your pregnancy, and this child and subsequent children....but if you expect your in-laws, parents, brothers, sisters etc to feel the same way as you you are just being silly.  When I see people having these events with the expectations that everyone else cares so much about these things I can't believe it.  It just seems so egocentric, and screams "me me me."  

    While I do agree with your sentiments regarding the "sex reveal" parties (I would never personally do one) I can still see OP's dissapontment especially being a FTM. You kind of expect family to be just as excited as you. I love my MIL and we have a great relationship but I will say I was pretty sad that she didn't make it to the hospital when her first grandson was born. She had other plans and it made me furious. Was I correct to be mad at her for having a life? No. But in the moment it did suck.

    Congrats OP :)
        DS born 8-16-2013
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  • Miz_LizMiz_Liz member
    CaliforniaDream87 said:

    camedowncrushing said:

    I think gender reveal parties are ridiculous.  I understand that you are annoyed that your mother in law was late, but come on....you threw yourself a party to reveal the gender of your baby!  You and your husband are going to be so excited for every moment of your pregnancy, and this child and subsequent children....but if you expect your in-laws, parents, brothers, sisters etc to feel the same way as you you are just being silly.  When I see people having these events with the expectations that everyone else cares so much about these things I can't believe it.  It just seems so egocentric, and screams "me me me."  

    While I do agree with your sentiments regarding the "sex reveal" parties (I would never personally do one) I can still see OP's dissapontment especially being a FTM. You kind of expect family to be just as excited as you. I love my MIL and we have a great relationship but I will say I was pretty sad that she didn't make it to the hospital when her first grandson was born. She had other plans and it made me furious. Was I correct to be mad at her for having a life? No. But in the moment it did suck.

    Congrats OP :)



    This exactly.
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  • pabeybabypabeybaby member
    stow2009 said:



    Wow! That would be frustrating, I'm sorry. We had a gender reveal party, too, and it was funny how new it was to all the grandparents- they couldn't wrap their minds around the fact that we didn't know, either! This is a completely new world to anyone who had babies more than 10 years ago, I think. 


    I do have one question- I notice you are from the UK, and you said "my husband wants her to keep our child"- does this mean babysit? I've never heard of it, and I'm assuming you don't mean have your child :) 
    Actually she means University of Kentucky for UK.


    And @JackieCook87 I kinda had to laugh at this a little because I live in KY too, and I know the obsession over UK basketball! My family and my husband are crazy about it. Luckily we are doing our gender reveal in late April when it's all over lol!

    My own mother is late for everything as well. I invited her over once and she didn't show up til it was dark out! Jeez.

    Also- we are having a girl too! Congrats on yours!
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  • stow2009stow2009 member
    pabeybaby said:

    stow2009 said:



    Wow! That would be frustrating, I'm sorry. We had a gender reveal party, too, and it was funny how new it was to all the grandparents- they couldn't wrap their minds around the fact that we didn't know, either! This is a completely new world to anyone who had babies more than 10 years ago, I think. 


    I do have one question- I notice you are from the UK, and you said "my husband wants her to keep our child"- does this mean babysit? I've never heard of it, and I'm assuming you don't mean have your child :) 
    Actually she means University of Kentucky for UK.


    And @JackieCook87 I kinda had to laugh at this a little because I live in KY too, and I know the obsession over UK basketball! My family and my husband are crazy about it. Luckily we are doing our gender reveal in late April when it's all over lol!

    My own mother is late for everything as well. I invited her over once and she didn't show up til it was dark out! Jeez.

    Also- we are having a girl too! Congrats on yours!
    OHH! Haha, got it. Still, anyone know what it means to "keep a child"? Is it a Kentucky thing? 
    Report Reply
  • mrsb30mrsb30 member
    stow2009 said:

    pabeybaby said:

    stow2009 said:



    Wow! That would be frustrating, I'm sorry. We had a gender reveal party, too, and it was funny how new it was to all the grandparents- they couldn't wrap their minds around the fact that we didn't know, either! This is a completely new world to anyone who had babies more than 10 years ago, I think. 


    I do have one question- I notice you are from the UK, and you said "my husband wants her to keep our child"- does this mean babysit? I've never heard of it, and I'm assuming you don't mean have your child :) 
    Actually she means University of Kentucky for UK.


    And @JackieCook87 I kinda had to laugh at this a little because I live in KY too, and I know the obsession over UK basketball! My family and my husband are crazy about it. Luckily we are doing our gender reveal in late April when it's all over lol!

    My own mother is late for everything as well. I invited her over once and she didn't show up til it was dark out! Jeez.

    Also- we are having a girl too! Congrats on yours!
    OHH! Haha, got it. Still, anyone know what it means to "keep a child"? Is it a Kentucky thing? 

    It means to watch or babysit. It's not a ky thing, I have heard it a lot. Maybe a southern thing? I don't know.
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  • stow2009stow2009 member
    Thanks! Wow, I have never heard that. 
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  • JackieCook87JackieCook87 member
    edited March 2015
    @camedowncrushing

    We did it so that we could find out what we were having with close friends and family. Personally I wanted to find out when the baby was born but my husband and family wanted to know so I gave in. It's not like we expected them to bring presents and they were told not to. I bought and fixed all the food except some help from a couple family members that begged to help. We decorated the rental space and even cleaned up...didn't ask anyone to help that did volunteer or refused to not help. I don't believe it was all about me, me, me...I did it to show that family and friends will be involved in my child's life and wanted them to find out with us. Gender reveal parties are just becoming a part of this generation.
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  • JackieCook87JackieCook87 member
    mrsb30 said:

    stow2009 said:

    pabeybaby said:

    stow2009 said:



    Wow! That would be frustrating, I'm sorry. We had a gender reveal party, too, and it was funny how new it was to all the grandparents- they couldn't wrap their minds around the fact that we didn't know, either! This is a completely new world to anyone who had babies more than 10 years ago, I think. 


    I do have one question- I notice you are from the UK, and you said "my husband wants her to keep our child"- does this mean babysit? I've never heard of it, and I'm assuming you don't mean have your child :) 
    Actually she means University of Kentucky for UK.


    And @JackieCook87 I kinda had to laugh at this a little because I live in KY too, and I know the obsession over UK basketball! My family and my husband are crazy about it. Luckily we are doing our gender reveal in late April when it's all over lol!

    My own mother is late for everything as well. I invited her over once and she didn't show up til it was dark out! Jeez.

    Also- we are having a girl too! Congrats on yours!
    OHH! Haha, got it. Still, anyone know what it means to "keep a child"? Is it a Kentucky thing? 

    It means to watch or babysit. It's not a ky thing, I have heard it a lot. Maybe a southern thing? I don't know.
    Yes, it means to babysit or watch a child...not keep as a gift. I guess it may be a southern thing but not really sure.
    Report Reply
  • JackieCook87JackieCook87 member
    edited March 2015
    @pabeybaby
    I didn't even think about March Madness when I scheduled the party. But that really helped show who had priorities and wanted to be involved in our life. And my MIL was almost late to our wedding and we had to rush some of the pictures because of it. The further along I get, the less patience and tolerance I find I have so I will hate to see once momma bear comes out in me.

    Congrats on the girl by the way and good luck with your gender party!
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