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May 2015 Moms
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giving birth alone

Bulma971Bulma971 member
in May 2015 Moms
My boyfriend doesn't currently live in the same country as I do and he won't make it for the birth. I knew from the start it might happen but I was still hoping. Now I'm almost 32 weeks and it's obvious it will not be happening. It's very overwhelming to have to play strong in front of family and friends but I really don't need the extra judgement.It just feels so depressing not having him around. Is anyone else in that situation?
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Re: giving birth alone

  • hbombanohbombano member
    Stay strong u can do it. Im not in your situation at all but of all my births my husband missed one and to be honest it was my best birth from the pysical side i had full concentation on what i was doing. From an emotional sharing side i think it would be difficult more afterwards but like many things in life that are out of our control we just do the best we can. I hope that your partner will join you as soon as possible its such a special time together.
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  • SmrBrd2012SmrBrd2012 member
    That sucks :( Do you have another support person you can have with you? A family member or a midwife?
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  • marthaudanimarthaudani member
    My husband will be away for work a couple weeks before I'm due. I'm really hoping to hold this baby in past 39 weeks because that's what it's going to take. *fingers crossed*

    We moved across the country last year and I don't have any family but I have some pretty good friends that I've made here.

    I'm hoping you have a close family member or good friend that can be there with you when the time comes.
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  • sevillanagalsevillanagal member
    That must be really hard. We don't have family locally and I'm feeling the stress of that already so I can't imagine how you must feel. Could you get a doula? I know they can be expensive ($800 -$1000 in my area), but if you can afford it maybe it's worth it.
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  • Bulma971Bulma971 member
    Thanks very much for the kind words. I have family and friends that will be there but it just doesn't feel the same. I know we will soon be reunited after the birth but as I've always been fearful of delivery, his support would have been so appreciated! I will keep praying for the strength to go through it without him!
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  • icajesica82icajesica82 member
    Do you have a close family or friend that can be by your side?  My husband was in the army stationed in another state when I was pregnant with DD.  My mom was the one with me in case he didn't make it in time.  Thankfully he made it 50 minutes before she came.  But it was great having my mom there to help me during the labor and everything.  It sucks that he can't be there but that doesn't mean that you have to be alone.  Can he skype at the time?  There are people that have done that so he can see LO be born too.  

    I really really recommend getting someone you love in the room with you to share the experience and be there to support you.  
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  • DooraDoora member
    I know it probably doesn't help, but think about that you're not the only one. I have to do everything by myself as the dad is out of the picture now, and my family doesn't live in the same country as me, they will come after the birth helping, but at the moment it's just an extra pressure, things that I have to sort out for their stay... :) so keep positive, many mum didn't before us we can do it as well xxx
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  • chefnewmommychefnewmommy member
    Prayers going out to you and your LO! I know it will be hard and emotional but you are strong! Everything will work out as it should. This doesn't help you but I was there for a friend with Her delivery a few years ago. Her boyfriend was stuck home (snowstorm) and literally couldn't even get a bus(the city shut down) I happened to be a few blocks away from the hospital bc I worked in the area... She had been in the hosp for days bc of preeclampsia. She was so emotional bc he couldn't be there and so was he but we facetimed the entire delivery. It wasn't the same as him physically being there, but it made everything a little better. Chin up momma! You may just have to get a bit creative.
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  • soontobecapeksoontobecapek member
    I definitely know it's not the same. My mom will be with me. I am due on or before May 2nd, because I've had 2 c/a and T won't be home until May 12th... Good luck!
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  • marijaa333marijaa333 member
    A part of me thinks it would be easier to just be alone with the medical staff. As helpful as I'm sure my husband will be, I worry that he will also get stressed out and increase my anxiety. I have no advice except to suggest that you try to focus on the potential upside of the situation.

    Is there a family member or friend who will come visit you in the hospital after the birth, or help you at home? 
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