- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
l0velyvee
member
How do you cope? Religious post...
l0velyvee
member
It's been awhile since I've posted on here. The last time I posted was when I talked about my miscarriage on Thanksgiving.
But tonight, I'm ready to post and talk about it. I really hope I don't offend anyone and I hope no one gets upset at me. That is not my intentions. I'm only asking these questions, because I would love to know. I'm not a religious person, but I am open and willing to hear anything anyone has to say. There's some that aren't religious and if you don't agree with this post I kindly ask you to not be cruel.
My question is, what do people mean when they say "God has gained another angel?"
Do I need to be upset and blame God? How do I get a better understanding of what happened? Was it my body? People say that God has a different plan for me, but I don't understand? Why would God do that to me and everyone else?
I feel so confused and so lost and so hurt. I have so many questions running through my head. I have no one to talk to about these feelings and these questions except my husband, but he's such a busy man. I would love to try again, but I feel like I'm trying for another baby for the wrong reasons. I don't know if I'm explaining it right. I feel like I'm trying again to replace that pregnancy. I feel like that isn't right. I want to try again when I'm mentally and emotionally ready. I just want to know why "things happen" like everyone says.
How did everyone else cope? I've been trying to be a calm person and go on and slowly give myself time to grieve and cope. I also have a 1 year old who needs me. I sincerely apologize if this post offends anyone. I don't know how else to word it. I hope I can remove this post if it does.
But tonight, I'm ready to post and talk about it. I really hope I don't offend anyone and I hope no one gets upset at me. That is not my intentions. I'm only asking these questions, because I would love to know. I'm not a religious person, but I am open and willing to hear anything anyone has to say. There's some that aren't religious and if you don't agree with this post I kindly ask you to not be cruel.
My question is, what do people mean when they say "God has gained another angel?"
Do I need to be upset and blame God? How do I get a better understanding of what happened? Was it my body? People say that God has a different plan for me, but I don't understand? Why would God do that to me and everyone else?
I feel so confused and so lost and so hurt. I have so many questions running through my head. I have no one to talk to about these feelings and these questions except my husband, but he's such a busy man. I would love to try again, but I feel like I'm trying for another baby for the wrong reasons. I don't know if I'm explaining it right. I feel like I'm trying again to replace that pregnancy. I feel like that isn't right. I want to try again when I'm mentally and emotionally ready. I just want to know why "things happen" like everyone says.
How did everyone else cope? I've been trying to be a calm person and go on and slowly give myself time to grieve and cope. I also have a 1 year old who needs me. I sincerely apologize if this post offends anyone. I don't know how else to word it. I hope I can remove this post if it does.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How do you cope? Religious post...
My own faith is that sometimes miserable things happen to wonderful people simply because it does. I was heartbroken and maybe a little angry when we lost our baby. Sure, I had my moments when I thought I had done something wrong or there was something wrong with my body. As time goes on I'm finding it easier to embrace the hard truth. My baby just wasn't viable. I'll never know why, but I can't change that. Kudos to you for being conscious of your decision to try/not try again.
No matter the scientific reason or divine intervention, you ( and I) have suffered a terrible loss and it's simply not fair. I'm trying to not beat myself up about it and be thankful for all that I still have in my life and I hope you can find that too. You didn't deserve this loss. No one does. We just need to find our way forward and remember that there is still so much love coming to us in this life. Take care.
Thank you for your reply. You're absolutely right. I'm trying to not beat myself about it either. I have so much to be thankful for and I have people by my side that I love so much. I want to be positive, but I want to also accept what happened. It will just take a lot of time. I wake up and go on about my everyday things and then there's times like these where I sit and wonder. I feel like so far, I'm doing okay. I'm trying my hardest, but I am okay. Thank you so much for replying and helping me. You take care as well.
What happened to us is not fair and we didn't deserve it but maybe something was genetically wrong with the baby. Would I be able to handle that? I don't think so. My miscarriage happened for a reason and the baby did not survive for a reason.
Is that hard to swallow? Absolutely.
It happens and it sucks. I would never want it to happen again and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy.
I know in my heart I will have a healthy baby in the future.
It wasn't my time to have a baby next month.
Heaven has gained an angel, because the baby had a soul and is now in heaven.
Hang in there.
I'm sorry for your loss.
To answer your question, I believe in God - when I look at the complexity and mind-blowing systems in nature, the way animals adapt to their environment, the way our earth is perfectly distanced from the sun and couldn't sustain life if it were mere inches closer or farther, the way my daughter was formed in my womb and developed from a tiny embryo and grew by drinking the milk that my body perfectly formulated with all the right nutrients and antibodies ... When I ask God who he is and he shows me his love in a sunset or the waves on the beach (sounds SO corny, I know! But it's true for me), when I am totally hopeless yet ask for his peace and he gives it to me- how can I not see the living creator who is God??
I just went through painful miscarriage. It's horrible. It's heartbreaking. And I really think it breaks Gods heart also.
Since your post is so open and honest, I'm going to be honest about my beliefs. I don't want to force them on anyone, this is what I believe and bet my life on. I believe in the truth of the Bible – which tells us that God is love. He never wants any pain or suffering or death to come to us – but because of sin in the world, there IS pain and death and suffering. He created us with the free will, so we are robots that have to love him, but we can choose to except his love through his son Jesus who died on the cross for our sins. I have new life and new hope in him because of who he is and what he's done- and honestly, this gets me the most hope after my miscarriage, and any hardship and tragedy I go through. I know that there's a loving God who has paid the way for me to be with him forever, and to give me peace and joy and strength in this life, which will have trials.
In the dead of night, when I feel hopeless, when I feel alone, when I feel like there's no point to this life and I see suffering in the world around me, I asked God who he is – he shows me that he is even more heartbroken over these things – the senseless violence and children that are suffering around the world, the things that break my heart, break his heart, and he sent his son as a way for us to have new life and escape the pain and suffering of this earth.
This is how I have so much joy – I truly hope you can seek the truth, and God tells us that when we seek him with all our heart, he WILL reveal himself to us. That's a promise – because he wants you to know his love!
4N6s
I appreciate both of your post oh so very much! Thank you so much for being open about it. I've just been trying to figure out and be positive and just take a deep breath. I just don't want to be angry and be filled with hate and anger, but I was very confused. I am still trying my hardest and my very best to take it a day at a time. I thank you all so much for being open to speaking about this with me.
John 16:33 (NIV)
“I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
♡