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Do you have to baptize your child to give him godparents?

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Re: Do you have to baptize your child to give him godparents?

  • queequeg09256queequeg09256 member
    We have godparents for our lo so that we have a designated person who will take care of our child in the event of our deaths. No intention of baptizing my lo. But our godparents are both willing to sign papers as designated guardians for our will.
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  • KonaCoffeeBeanKonaCoffeeBean member
    I think this just depends on what you feel the role of the godparent is. For some parents it's very much related to the baptism for some parents it's not.
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  • rrcameron21rrcameron21 member
    In my family the god parents baptize the child. But it's really up to your family what you want to do! There's no right or wrong way to do it.
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  • mrsmoxiemrsmoxie member
    In my family, a god parent is a god parent only when the baptism is done. And the god parents don't have to be the legal guardian if something should happen to the parents. In our case, the god parents are not the same people that would take custody of our kids if something happens to us.
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  • karaelaine1991karaelaine1991 member
    edited March 2015
    I'm Catholic and in my church to be recognized as godparents a baptism is required, because we see godparents as being spiritual mentors. I'm guessing you want more of the guardian role, in which case a baptism isn't necessary, but you would need to have legal documentation that that's what you want. You could always refer to the legal guardians as godparents if that's the terminology you prefer.

    ETA FWIW, my daughter's godparents will also be her legal guardians
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  • alcrimminsalcrimmins member
    We are in the same boat. I think we will have "sponsors" instead of godparents.
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  • mlindzzmlindzz member
    Our son will be baptized, and his God parents will be both his spiritual mentors and also the legal guardians if anything were to happen to my hubby and I.

    With the term being used so frequently now, I would only suggesting being very clear with your intentions and the expectations when speaking with the God parent(s) about your requests.
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  • KonaCoffeeBeanKonaCoffeeBean member
    edited March 2015
    mommydlc said:

    Not to sound B!+ chy but isn't the point of godparents to be GODparents, meaning it has to be religiously based?




    I agree that God parents provide the child with spiritual nourishment, but not all faiths--even Christian faiths-- do infant baptism. I would think there still may be a role for an adult, outside of the parents, identified to give religious instruction and guidance to the child.
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  • Zeuskay01Zeuskay01 member
    mamahawk12 said:

    Godparents are intended to be religious "mentors" and are generally appointed during baptism. If you aren't going to have a baptism, I would just appoint people as legal guardians.

    That said, I'm very much against the idea of baptizing "for other people". I get it, our FIL really pushed us to get our sons baptized, but neither DH or I are currently practicing. I'm not going to stand in front of God in a church and vow to raise my child under the covenant of the church when I have no intention to do so... At least at this time.


    Exactly this! I've gone back and forth on whether or not I'm going to baptize my daughter. But realistically speaking, I do not go to church and my DH is very little to non religious at all. I don't want to go to a church and pretty much lie that I will raise my daughter in the church when I know I will not.

    I am the god mother of my neice through the catholic church. Not only did I have to pretend to be a part of a church, but I had go to classes with a preist to prove my "worthiness" of being the god mother. Needless to say I felt horrible about lying and pretending to be someone I am not. So this time around I personally will not do it.
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  • aliciaspinnetaliciaspinnet member
    kzeas01 said:

    mamahawk12 said:

    Godparents are intended to be religious "mentors" and are generally appointed during baptism. If you aren't going to have a baptism, I would just appoint people as legal guardians.

    That said, I'm very much against the idea of baptizing "for other people". I get it, our FIL really pushed us to get our sons baptized, but neither DH or I are currently practicing. I'm not going to stand in front of God in a church and vow to raise my child under the covenant of the church when I have no intention to do so... At least at this time.


    Exactly this! I've gone back and forth on whether or not I'm going to baptize my daughter. But realistically speaking, I do not go to church and my DH is very little to non religious at all. I don't want to go to a church and pretty much lie that I will raise my daughter in the church when I know I will not.

    I am the god mother of my neice through the catholic church. Not only did I have to pretend to be a part of a church, but I had go to classes with a preist to prove my "worthiness" of being the god mother. Needless to say I felt horrible about lying and pretending to be someone I am not. So this time around I personally will not do it.
    Totally agree with this. I was raised catholic but my family isn't very observant and I'm an atheist nowadays. DH was raised Hindu but is now agnostic. Luckily no one has brought up baptism but it's very much not an option for DH and I.

    When DH and I got married, his father was quite insistent on us having a Hindu ceremony. There was a brief period where it looked like that may not be possible without me converting and I was not prepared to do that. FIL told me I could just pretend to convert but I felt completely uncomfortable paying lip service to something I do not believe in - it just seems to be really disrespectful to pretend to have faith in something when that religion is really important to others. I feel the same way about baptising for the sake other people.
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  • MrsWiggleWaggleMrsWiggleWaggle member
    Holy cow @aliciaspinnet you have just described my marriage and religious situation to a "T"! And I felt so alone...silly me! I let my in laws know they are free to expose my kid to all aspects of their temple..I don't care if he shows up with bindis or special jewelry...but he will also be exposed to other walks to! I'm not converting anytime soon and frankly I wouldn't truly be accepted even if I did because I'm not indian. Not sure if I'm ready to be a full on catholic yet either. Most of my family are more the "carried,married, and burried" type of church participants.
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  • HoosOnFirstHoosOnFirst member
    edited March 2015
    My extended family is uber-Catholic (my great grandfather was a priest - and yes, that's possible if you are a widow!) and DH has two Lutheran minister grandparents! I think both sides have intuited that we won't be baptizing the baby since we are both fairly agnostic. DH in particular was raised in a religious household but the Lutherans are very chill and it's about community for the most part. We are on board with that aspect but aren't planning on raising the baby within a church or religion. It feels way too disingenuous to me and unfair to the church for us to pretend we believe. Our kids cab certainly make their own choices as they get older!

    My grandma did offer me the christening gown that's been passed down for generations, but then was kind enough to say "if you decide to go that way." Which is way more open than she was years ago.
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  • aliciaspinnetaliciaspinnet member
    MrsWiggleWaggle said:

    Holy cow @aliciaspinnet you have just described my marriage and religious situation to a "T"! And I felt so alone...silly me! I let my in laws know they are free to expose my kid to all aspects of their temple..I don't care if he shows up with bindis or special jewelry...but he will also be exposed to other walks to! I'm not converting anytime soon and frankly I wouldn't truly be accepted even if I did because I'm not indian. Not sure if I'm ready to be a full on catholic yet either. Most of my family are more the "carried,married, and burried" type of church participants.

    I'm lucky that my inlaws have never had a problem with me not being Indian, but I was really scared that I was going to cause problems if the Hindu ceremony wasn't possible because of my refusal to convert. My DH didn't want a ceremony in India at all, only a reception, and he and his dad had a big fight over that. DH eventually backed down and he and his dad made up but for a while I was really worried I would reopen that wound. But I just couldn't in good conscience pretend to believe in something that I don't - it would feel like spitting in the face of every devout follower of Hinduism.
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  • queequeg09256queequeg09256 member
    Sorry I should have clarified in my original post. Hubby is non religious and I'm a buddhist, when we asked our friends to be godparents (both are atheist) they knew we meant legal guardian if something should happen to us, and they both understand the huge responsibility that would bring. If you are religious I totally think the more spiritual path pays to that definition. We just aren't so no clarification was needed. I wasn't trying to use the term incorrectly more saying how we viewed it with our very close friends.
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  • CateOfChicagoCateOfChicago member
    Callling someone a god parent without a christening is the same as calling someone an aunt or uncle without being related. I guess you are giving them an honorary title as opposed to the real thing. I'm catholic so we will be legit but to each his own.
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