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pregnant after 7 years of IF and scared

trulyblessed2015trulyblessed2015 member
edited March 2015 in Pregnant after IF
Hello ladies. If this is not the correct place for this please delete. And I apologize for anyone I may have offended. A little about myself. I got married to the love of my life 10 years ago and we immediately knew we wanted kids. After 3 years of trying, countless pregnancy tests all negative, ovulation tests etc...we decided it was time to a specialist. We were told we had less than a 5% chance of getting pregnant without ivf due to my husband's sperm problems. Devastated we started preparing mentally, emotionally and financially for the procedure. Then in January 2015 we found out we were pregnant on our own. I thought I'd be over the moon excited but I'm scared and anxious. I scared to death of losing this baby. It just seems to good to be true. I worry and pray all the time that I have a healthy pregnancy. I've hidden it from my family because I figured if it doesn't work out and 8 miscarry , I'll have to let everyone down with the bad news. My question is- does anyone else feel this way or am I just crazy?
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Re: pregnant after 7 years of IF and scared

  • J&D2007J&D2007 member
    Hello and congratulations! What you are feeling is completely normal. Most, if not all, of us have or do feel this way. We have a similar experience to you with 7 years of IF and IF treatments and we conceived on our own in December. I was 100% terrified for the first 8 weeks and now it is getting a little better but I am still very anxious and scared. If you are familiar with the boards, use the search function and search 'PTIFD', it's a post I started a month or so ago discussing this very thing and I got a ton of support and stories from the other ladies on here. Good luck and welcome!
    Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
    Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
    Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
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  • J&D2007J&D2007 member
    https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12528420/ptifd#latest
    Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
    Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
    Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
    Report Reply
  • trulyblessed2015trulyblessed2015 member
    Thanks for your reply. I'm going to search for your post. I thought once I was pregnant all my worries would go away. Silly me! After my 7 week sonogram I heard the heartbeat and was relieved. Only to start worrying about the next appointment. Have you told friends and family yet?
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  • J&D2007J&D2007 member
    I posted the link for you above. I'm still taking one day and one appointment at a time. We actually have only told our parents, but no one else. It's getting pretty difficult to hide now though. We have our anatomy scan u/s in one week, so if that goes well we will then let everyone know. I know our verify test results made me feel very relieved. Are you getting genetic testing done?
    Me: 37, DH: 38: ttc 7 years, dx: unknown
    10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
    11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid & normal hsg),
    12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s, 1/12: D&C
    6/12 IUI#1-IUI #3: clomid = BFP!, C/P
    IVF #1(10/12) FSH 5.4, AFC: 16 long Lupron, 5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast/1-8 cell transferred=BFN
    IVF #2(12/12)AFC 21, MD lupron, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast and 2-8cell. BFN.
    IVF#3(4/13) Natural start antagon protocol, 12R,11F. one PGS normal at day 6 transfer. BFN.
    IVF#4 (11/13) C.CRM (ODW.U normal 8/13 Still no Diagnosis) EPP/antagonist. ER 13R/7M/6F. Only 1 made it to freeze. Abnormal. Looking into options of DE, Fresh vs frozen.
    10/14 new local RE to look into what's next. CD3 FSH 4.7, AMH 0.9. Met with DE agencies and exploring options for feb/march 2015.
    Surprise natural bfp (4 days before donor is signed). Beta #1 at 9dpo: 51.8, 2nd beta: 195 (25 hours doubling) @11dpo. 3rd beta (12/15): 516 (35 hrs doubling) 4th beta(12/17): 895 (58 hours doubling) 5th beta(12/19): 2120. U/S at 5w0d(12/22): one gestational sac with yolk sac. U/S #2 (6w0d)12/29. One little bean measuring 6w0d with HR 124. 3rd u/s(1/4)7w0d: baby measuring 7w2d. HR 134. 3/30: A/S at MFM went great except for low lying placenta. Verifi results are normal! Team Blue! Please send any positive thoughts our way! EDD:8/24/2015
    Baby Will born 8/18. He's perfect.
    Report Reply
  • lawmom747lawmom747 member
    Congratulations and welcome!  I agree that most of us have felt the same way.  I've had a very rough pregnancy so far and I worry constantly about these babies making safely here.  You are in good company and will find lots of support here.
    Me: 35 DH: 35 - Married 10 years
    PCOS and MF
    Two failed rounds IUI in 2010
    IVF #1 in 2011 - BFP 8/5/11 - Our IVF miracle was born 4/8/12
    FET 9/23/13; BFP -Twins-10/3/13; EDD 6/10/14; MC 11/1/13; D&C 11/4/13
    FET 3/28/14; BFN - 4/7/14
    IVF #2 - Transfer 2 embryos 11/14/14; BFP 11/24/14 - Beta 265;
    11/26/14 - Beta 612; 11/28/14 - Beta 1263; 12/1/14 - Beta 3571;
    12/3/14 - first u/s - two gestational sacs; 12/17/14 - two healthy heartbeats (132 and 134)
    Our IVF miracles were born 7/16/15

    image
    image
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  • gsanchogsancho member
    Congratulations!  Sounds like what you are feeling is very normal.  We always think getting the BFP will make us the happiest person ever and we will just ease into pregnancy bliss.  Getting support on this board and keeping track of everyone through the check-ins helped me keep my sanity, especially during the first couple of anxious weeks.  

    The worry doesn't totally go away, but it does slowly get better as you reach more milestones.  I got a little better once I reached 2nd tri, then after the anatomy scan, then when I started to feel her move...around 18-19 weeks I found my excited moments outweighed my anxious moments.  


    Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
    IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
    IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
    Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545  -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!
    Camila Josephine arrived 4/30 :)
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  • trulyblessed2015trulyblessed2015 member
    Thank you ladies for responding. It's good to know my feelings are "normal". I'm not sure if we are doing genetic testing. I have an appt on Wednesday and I'm going to bring it to my OB. I did tell my mom and sister today. They are super excited too. I kinda felt bad for hiding from them . I'm hoping to have my anatomy scan in a few weeks and then I'll tell the rest of my family and closest friends. Good luck ladies!
    Report Reply
  • FatPonyFatPony member
    trulyblessed2015J&D2007!! I am so happy for you!

    We are pregnant after 2 years of infertility and one round of IVF. I don't think I had the same anxiety as you guys. For some reason, I felt that getting pregnant would be the hard part and then my body would support a pregnancy just fine. It didn't even occur to me to be nervous at my first scan!! I am currently 13 weeks, and saw the baby at 6.5 and 12 weeks. She is doing just fine (we 'think' it's a she). 

    Anyways, best of luck to you all!! :)
    Report Reply
  • MiromiMMiromiM member
    Welcome! I struggled with IF for 3 years. The first "BFP" I got was from my IVF trigger shot. When my FET worked in January I was terrified. I still check the toilet paper everytime I go. The anxiety has gotten better week by week. I remind myself that while something terrible could still happen that I'm pregnant now and should revel in it.

    May the odds be ever in our favor.
    *Siggy Warning*

    image


    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • przemosbabeprzemosbabe member
    Hello! I tried to get pregnant off and on since I was right out of high school until recently, so off and on for 10 years, probably a total of 5 years combined. I too am terrified every day that something awful will happen, but I tell myself this is out of my hands. So as the pp's have said, you're not alone in your feelings. Try to keep bugs and the time will go by faster. Congratulations :(
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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