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April 2015 Moms
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Out of town family

bhowes09bhowes09 member
in April 2015 Moms
I'm a little concerned... My family, as well as my husband's live about 3 hours away from us. It seems that they are all wanting to come down for the first week after baby is born. I have one guest room, 2 parents that don't get along with each other and one set of in laws. I'm not even sure that I want anyone staying with us that first week, being that it's our first baby!?
I don't know how to ask them to find other arrangements because none of them have a whole ton of money and neither do we... Help!
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Re: Out of town family

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    amt725amt725 member
    That's very tough! I would probably explain that it will help you out more if they space out their visits all to help different weeks! And if you don't want overnight guests that's up to you! I definitely didn't and asked them to please stay at a hotel because I would get too overwhelmed. Family is such a hard group to deal with, I wish you luck!
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    taahirataahira member
    I explained the space ristriction and staggered our families visit. If they want to avoid hotel fees, then that is the only way to accommodate them at our home. All of our families live overseas.
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    juliaandpatrickjuliaandpatrick member
    Just tell them flat out. They may get mad at/upset with you but at the end of the day it will be what's best for you, LO, and dh. You don't need the added pressure to entertain while recovering and looking after a newborn. Family tends to get over these kinds of things.
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    SDJohnson26SDJohnson26 member
    I agree with pp that if you tell them the only way you can accommodate at your residence is that if they space it out each a different week that way you will have help for a longer period as well my dh is out for 3 weeks post delivery and a few days after he goes back to work is when my mom is coming so spacing out should work the best and have SO tell his family and support your decision
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    kjuryflkjuryfl member
    When I delivered my first we lived across the country from all of our family. We had them stagger their visits. It worked out great and I made sure to have some time between visits to relax and get the house ready for the next guest. This time we live 15mina from my in-laws so they won't be staying the night and I told both of my parents that I want a few weeks to adjust before having overnight guests.
    Married: 3/01/08
    Baby Girl: 7/29/11
    Angel Baby: M/C 7/15/14 at 7wk
    BFP: 8/23/14 - Due 4/28/15  - It's a BOY!
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    maelily15maelily15 member
    For mine, my dad lives about 3 hours away and he's coming up for a few days while I'm in the hospital. He'll be able to stay in my room, as he'll probably leave after being sure I'm settled in at home. My MIL is coming from much further away for about a week and will be staying in the guest room. I'm just lucky because if my dad decides to stay a little while longer, he can crash at my brother's place (about 20 minutes away). I definitely agree with the PP about explaining the lack of space and invite the family who is least likely to need your full attention to come first, as your first priority will be taking care of yourself and LO.
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    mrsmeyer419mrsmeyer419 member
    I've told out of town friends and family I don't want any guests for the first week or 2, and after that I will decide if I want them to stay in my home. We have a small one bedroom house so whoever stays will be staying at camo couch lol and I honestly HATE having people over for any amount of time- I don't like the feeling of having to accommodate others in my home where I should be as comfortable as I want.
    Just explain to them the space issue and that you feel it'd be too overwhelming to have many people visit, even if some family stay in a hotel having people in and out of the house all weekend long with a newborn will be very tiring
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    Finally Mrs QFinally Mrs Q member
    I feel your pain - my mil whom I have only met 3x has decided she is finally going to fly to Iowa from Washington 3 days before my c section is scheduled. (She has yet to ask if she can stay with us.....
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    smilesallaroundsmilesallaround member
    I explained to my family and my husband's family, who all live 2 hrs away, that we would love to see them in the weeks after the baby is born but that we cannot have overnight visitors. I think a couple people were hurt, but they are already over it now.

    Family is hard because they mean well, but you still end up having to entertain them and clean up after them. It is too much stress after having a baby in my opinion.
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    Puppies+Rainbows+UnicornsPuppies+Rainbows+Unicorns member
    I asked people to come after my husband goes back to work. Stressed how big of a help they could be to be while he is at work.
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