I don't know how much more I can handle.

megantesia · March 2015

Hello, I don't really post anything on here and I lurk a lot but today might be the straw that broke the camels back... Forgive me for going on this rant, bitch fest or whatever but I need to let it out... And I hope that if there are some mothers to be going through what I've been going through, I'm sorry and I will love to be there for you.

I feel that maybe this karma for all the wrong I've done in my life. . .
I got pregnant... I never thought it could happen but it did. I cannot wait to meet my daughter. I want to give her the best life I could possibly give even if it kills me but throughout this entire pregnancy I have been through the worst.
I have been through domestic violence, I have slept in my car for two nights, I have traveled across the country, I had to put my dog down because he was suffering, I have been divorced, I have been sued for a fender bender (I rear ended someone going 30MPH she's suing for emotional distress, permanent impairment, loss damages etc...)and not to mention every 2-3 days the father of my child and I fight constantly.

And finally. Today was my baby shower. I invited 25 people and only 5 showed up. I got nothing I needed for my baby. And to be completely honest. That is completely okay. What hurt the most is the people that I thought would be there for me, we're not. I wanted to celebrate my daughter with people I cared about.. Call me crazy ridiculous. Whatever. And when I called the father of my child to tell him we got into a fight. Huge shocker there.

I guess at the end of all of this. I'm just beyond blessed I have a healthy baby. I'm a strong person and I feel like I can handle a lot. Does that mean I want to? No... Who does? But I would just like something to go right.

I have a healthy baby and a healthy family (mother father brother sister etc..) and that's perfect.

nicolemummyof2 · March 2015

I'm sorry you are going through such a hard time. I hope everything gets better for you. You sound like a really tough women. T&p your way.

louloutte87 · March 2015

Wow. That all sounds horrendous. I'm sorry you're dealing with all of this and growing a human without the support of dad.

I haven't got any advice but loads of sympathy. Creepy Internet hugs to you!

ldmw · March 2015

Hang in there! It's terrible what you've been going through, but one of my favorite quotes in times like these goes something like - "sometimes when it seems everything is falling apart, it's actually putting everything in place." The wording is more eloquent than that, but keep hanging in there.

duynguyen51 · March 2015

I'm sorry you are going through so much. Bring pregnant is already a hard job in itself so I can't imagine how you feel. You sound like a strong woman and you are going to be great. I told myself "what don't kill me, makes me stronger" when I'm going through hard times and that help me to keep on moving. As for the baby shower, well at least now you know who your real friends are. As for your spouse, I don't know what to say but I will pray for you and your little one. Keep your head up girl!!!!

jmorneau09 · March 2015

Wow! That is a lot to handle...pregnant or not. Hugs. I agree with @Idmw's quote. Things can only get better from here....not to say it won't be hard, but keep your head up and follow what you think is right. Life definitely has lows, but I hope that in the future you can look back and smile on how strong and independent all of this made you. Good luck.

megantesia · March 2015

Thank you all and if anyone ever needs anyone to talk to. You can definitely talk to me. I've been going at this alone and I definitely don't want anyone to feel alone.

thughes05 · March 2015

Wow and I thought I went thru a lot!!! I pretty much got evicted from my house 5 months pregnant with 2 kids on two of the coldest days of the year! You are a very strong woman and I think I would have lost it by like the second thing! I hope your little one is as strong as you and learns to conquer every challenge that comes their way like their mommy did. Thoughts and prayers to you and just keep moving forward! You definitely lose friends when you become pregnant because you can no longer do what they want you to do!

MrsLawson15 · March 2015

When I was pregnant with my dd, her father was incredibly abusive and a drug addict. After she was born I vowed I would always only do what was best for her. She has a genetic disorder. I left her father, or poor excuse for one, started school, and chose to have better people in my life. Since then I married an amazing man, am graduating with a degree In may, and expecting our first child together. Do what's best for your daughter, remove the negativity from your life, and everything else will follow. Until then, stay strong!! Sending much love your way!!!

christmasstree · March 2015

I'm sorry your going through this. It sounds really tough. I wish you luck with everything. It's good that you have a good family though.

backwoodsbarbie2k15 · March 2015

Im sorry, this sounds really hard. Im glad to hear you are staying strong despite the struggles. Family are the best supporters!!

Bmore112 · March 2015

I went through something similar with my first daughter. We moved across the US to run away from out problems just after she was born. I lived in a family homeless center for a couple months and rebuilt my life. You will lose a lot of people in your life when your baby is born, but that just makes room for the real friends. I suggest you befriend one or two people who are pregnant or have small children. I have found that having friends with kids my kids ages is great. We can take the kids places and not have to explain about how the babysitter is running late or can't come.

marym94 · March 2015

im so so sorry this road has been so rough for you. your sweet little girl is so lucky to have a strong mama who will be able to teach her and equip her to handle the world. Hugs.