Has anyone noticed..... — The Bump
2nd Trimester

Has anyone noticed.....

How judgmental many of the moms on here are being. When I was on here four years ago with my first child everyone was so supportive and helpful. Now it seems like many of the moms (not only on this board) are so judgmental... If you don't like what someone wrote move on don't write a snarky or rude comment. I relied on the bump a lot the first time around and am so thankful that I have a local moms board on facebook full of supportive moms who never judge or get snarky this time around. Just before you comment remember we are all pregnant we don't need other moms making us feel bad.
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Re: Has anyone noticed.....

  • Luckymum said:

    How judgmental many of the moms on here are being. When I was on here four years ago with my first child everyone was so supportive and helpful. Now it seems like many of the moms (not only on this board) are so judgmental... If you don't like what someone wrote move on don't write a snarky or rude comment. I relied on the bump a lot the first time around and am so thankful that I have a local moms board on facebook full of supportive moms who never judge or get snarky this time around. Just before you comment remember we are all pregnant we don't need other moms making us feel bad.

    Some of the responses to innocent questions make me sad.  I try to answer as honestly as possible in attempts to "help" some of them.  I'm not someone who sugarcoats anything (ANYTHING!) but many times, there are responses that are just plain unnecessary or could be worded a whole lot nicer.  It's scary to be pregnant sometimes, I get that.

    MaximusTiberiuskoehn27Cshaffer7
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  • NittanyPANittanyPA
    500 Love Its 100 Comments 5 Answers First Anniversary
    member
    edited March 2015

    NittanyPA said:

    I haven't been on in over a year and I was just thinking how tame it is here and quite frankly it seems a bit boring. Are all the regulars gone?   

    The majority of the regulars either got banned or left to go to the dark side, thanks to the Bump Gods. It was a mass exodus and a dramatic mess of a situation.



    BG's are on a high horse.

    YOU'RE BANNED, YOU'RE BANNED, EVERYONE'S BANNED!

     

    :)




    LMAO!! Perfect!!
  • Luckymum said:

    How judgmental many of the moms on here are being. When I was on here four years ago with my first child everyone was so supportive and helpful. Now it seems like many of the moms (not only on this board) are so judgmental... If you don't like what someone wrote move on don't write a snarky or rude comment. I relied on the bump a lot the first time around and am so thankful that I have a local moms board on facebook full of supportive moms who never judge or get snarky this time around. Just before you comment remember we are all pregnant we don't need other moms making us feel bad.

    Unfortunately you can't dictate other people's responses, or whether they should respond. As much as you can't control what people post, whether the question is ridiculous, inappropriate.
    The great thing is, everyone has a difference of a opinion, we don't all have to agree, or respond the same way. Just like in real life, you don't always agree with the people in your circle.
  • I'm so sick of people declaring what this board "should" be about. Listen closely, you are not ENTITLED to support. You are entitled to a range of opinions from a range of different people. You can't try to dictate how people should respond so give it up. Posts like these are the complete opposite of original and are quite obnoxious. In fact, posts like these are just begging for the snark and sarcasm to break loose. Good going =D>

    Agreed.
    jessyluscious77[Deleted User]
  • Geez. No one is saying that all responses need to be sweet as candy and sugar coated , but to be down right rude is unnecessary. It's like they get off putting people down for their questions.
    Those unnecessary responses aren't going to benefit anyone.
    That's all.
    LuckymumMaximusTiberiusvandalaRosealanna3622
  • Was writing this post supposed to change anything or were you just bored and looking for drama? I'm guessing it's choice #2.

    I guess you are on of those people that I am referring to
    vandalaRoseMariahOBrienalanna3622
  • Luckymum said:

    I never get these post. What are they meant to do exactly, other than start drama?

    You could always take your own advice if it's bothering you this much. If you don't like someone's response-ignore.

    And you must be another. The point of this post is to maybe make people think before they respond. If its not nice or helpful don't comment. Most of you wouldn't have the nerve to say these things to someones face so why post it on there posts. People are asking real questions that they want real answers to, not to be judged. Or sometimes people post things just to vent and then get attacked or asked what the point in the post is. There doesn't have to be a point in a post. Sometimes people just need to type things out and have people be like I know where you are coming from I hope it gets better instead of being attacked.
    Unfortunately posts like yours are posted quiet regularly. It dose not change anything. This kind of post will not make anyone stop and think before posting. It's an open forum, so people will continue to post or reply how they see fit.
  • daisy91606daisy91606
    Eighth Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited March 2015

    @Luckymum our point is maybe people should think before they post...especially if they're going to be butthurt about the response they get. And as a matter of fact I DO have the nerve to say snarky things to people's faces because I'm NOT afraid to call them on acting stupid. Mostly we say things like "there is a search function for a reason" and "POAS". And I get some FTM's are scared and unsure and in need of assurance. That however doesn't make them less than capable of research or calling a physician for qualified medical advice. Maybe seeing as this is the internet we could all take things a little less seriously? Am I the only one zen around here? (No good at gifs and the like...can someone get me Daryl?) 


    ETA: Could we also agree that maybe not everything you think is snarky is meant that way? It is hard to convey tone in print. Maybe what is said is said in all seriousness with no nastiness involved.

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    mom3babiesYogaSandyjessyluscious77
  • I think this is unreasonable & unfair. ;;)


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    Bliss+BerryGirlOnTheBeachAlyllyra
  • Fishing for controversy #welldone #butthurt
    allrightmeowladycerseiGSUDavis
  • mykrazikidzmykrazikidz
    5 Love Its Photogenic First Comment
    member
    edited March 2015
    I totally agree with OP!! I'm a grown woman pregnant with my 4th child and have been a parent for 13 years, I'm not lacking in experience (is my point in even bringing that up) and i still have questions that I don't feel need to be brought to a physician's attention, and many yes I have searched the internet, and maybe still feel like asking other people's opinions that are in the same boat as I am....there is NOTHING wrong with that!!!

    I have been extremely hesitant on posting anything on here because while doing my "research" I see and read a lot of negative unecessary coments, and to be honest just down right rude responces! I think that it's very sad and i really wished the moderators would keep a better eye on it!

    I know a lot of you have said "ask a physician " instead of posting... if that was the case for every little question or concern durring pregnancy doctors would be bombarded ALL the time and wouldn't have time to do their job! And there would be no need for online communities!!

    I really don't feel like I should or anyone should be chastised for asking if it's ok to drink a coke, or what someone else's experience is with heartburn in relation to gender, or referring to it as gender vs sex for that matter (I mean come on that was the most rediculous case of chastising someone I have seen on here), and for crying out loud I was met with rudeness over asking if it's normal to be paranoid after IVF because get this I already have children and it might be offensive to people who are pregnant through IVF with their first child......really??? Then what is the pregnancy after infertility board for???

    anyhow my point is that it really isn't necessary to be so rude and their is a way to state your OPINION without chastising or being rude!



    LuckymumShanisefordvandalaRosealanna3622
  • And your #4 proves my point!! Was that really necessary or just an immature jab at someone?

    Oh and regarding #5...that is obsurd I have ever right to post there and that was EXACTLY the right place for me to post my question....I don't think I was being the sensitive one in that case!!! I was basically left to think that there was no place for me to belong here....therefore I went elsewhere.....pretty sad because I probably have a lot to offer here!!!

    I visit many online forums and not ONE of them is anything like this one, therefore I choose not to post here, as I already mentioned!!! It has NOTHING to do with having or not having thick skin, as you could probably tell since you took the time to look up that post.....no sweat off my back!

    Bottom line is this board is VERY unwelcoming.....and i think the insensitive rude people on here have ruined a very good board, thank God there are other places to spend my time and places I can get real advice with out all the added bs!
    MaximusTiberiusvandalaRosealanna3622
  • Hey there :) I guess people want different things from these forums. I've found a nice one where we talk about being prego, advice about MILs, disconnected partners, feelings about the gender of the baby, cravings and other shared experiences. And that's what I was looking for.

    This one is about a couple of people being downright nasty to feel superior and witty. Others are here for the 'entertainment''. I was here because I hate to see people bullied - but discovered I was just adding to the entertainment.

    Look around for another forum buddy, were you can enjoy your pregnancy with like minded folk :)

    This post ends it for me too - seeya guys! Hope you all have beautiful babies and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy!!
    MariahOBrien
  • I am laughing at OP. Umm 4 years ago BOTB ruled this forum, and they were not nice. I have been here for 8 plus years.

    I am sorry, if you ask dumb questions you get a dumb answer. And yes, I say that in real life.
    Bliss+Berryallrightmeow
  • Yes I am somewhat new here but it is pretty hostile. I have also seen a lot of hostility in other communities as well, especially in the "Loss" and "trying to conceive after loss" areas. WOW are people ever touchy in those places. Say one thing slightly wrong and people are just jumping all over you. I lost a pregnancy a little over a year ago and a while later I posted that I had a suspicion that I may be pregnant again in the appropriate place, where other people posted the same kids of topics, but because I expressed excitement that it may have happened so soon after the loss people acted like I was gloating. You just can't not piss people off on the internet. There will always be people who choose to read your language and/or intentions in a negative light. There are so many different kinds of minds out there, everyone with their own nuanced points of view, and of course some people who just like to bully.

    It is rare to find a mostly good, supportive, and good humored online comminuty. I have decided that this is not one, so I will nt be posting here again.
    alanna3622
  • Omg yes !!! They are rude and judgemental !! Its unbelievable I came to this app for support and advice not to be judged for the things I say or opinions I have but that's just what I got they even we're making comments like lets get the popcorn and bringing the drama to other posts I commented on that had nothing to do with the comment I had said that they didn't like on a totally different post ! Some of these "women" are even late in their 30's and acting like they are 15 again !
    alanna3622
  • If anyone is looking for a good, safe environment with INCREDIBLE creators who respond along the woman who sign up and offers a helpful tool to find moms with similar situations, try MomMeetMom. My Friend is a co-founder and it really is a wonderful place for support and advice. I haven't seen the "he said, she said" that's taking place here in this thread and it's very informative. Just in case you wanted to know. 
    MariahOBrien
  • If anyone is looking for a good, safe environment with INCREDIBLE creators who respond along the woman who sign up and offers a helpful tool to find moms with similar situations, try MomMeetMom. My Friend is a co-founder and it really is a wonderful place for support and advice. I haven't seen the "he said, she said" that's taking place here in this thread and it's very informative. Just in case you wanted to know. 

    Thanks so much for sharing this! I'm going to check it out now. :-)
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