Help with putting your baby down to sleep — The Bump
July 2014 Moms

Help with putting your baby down to sleep

Before I continue with what I have to say, let me introduce myself. My name is Sam and I am the father to a beautiful girl. My wife joined The Bump when we were expecting back in July of 2014. Our LO is 7m going on 8th on the 24th of this month and we are running into some issues.

My daughter has been a handful since birth. She is what they refer to as a “high needs” baby. She constantly had to be held at all times. We got 20 minutes out the swing and bouncer. We actually have 3 swings: Fisher Price, Bright Stars?, and  the 4Moms Mommaroo and she only likes the FP one. Once she turned 5 months and was able to sit up on her things got easier.

As you can tell by the title of this topic, this post is in regards to self soothing, My daughter cannot be put down to sleep on her own. She needs to be rocked, nursed, or given a bottle to sleep. She currently sleeps in a Rock N Play still swaddled. When not swaddled her wakes up every few hours. She slept three days without a swaddle and after that she kept waking up. She’s getting too big for it and is starting to pull herself up. This is when it becomes dangerous.

My LO does not have sleeping issues as we are fortunate enough that she sleeps through the night. Getting her down is the issues. She has adapted to our schedule and goes to bed late. I start to put her down at 10pm. Anything before that is considered a nap for her. She sleeps from anywhere from 10-12hours a night.

We recently have been implementing the CIO method and some nights have been better than others. I don't necessarily agree to this approach but parents swear by it. We used to give her the bottle or nurse her to sleep. Occasionally, she would wake up after 45min, we'd give her more formula/milk and she'd go back to sleep. As of the last two weeks everything has changed. She doesn't go down with the bottle anymore or by nursing. This led to her crying herself to sleep. I would like put my LO on her crib and fall asleep without crying herself to sleep. Last night after 30minutes of crying I went into the room and rubbed her face while playing "Colors of the Wind" and she fell asleep.

What tips can you suggest for me? I'm getting desperate. We just bought the Zipadee-Zip because we saw it got good reviews. Anyone try this product?

Thank you in advance for all your help. I greatly appreciate it.

Re: Help with putting your baby down to sleep

  • Hi! Try reading The No Cry Sleep Solution by E. Pantley- she has some very good methods there for both breastfed and formula-fed babies. Good luck!!!
  • It doesn't sounds like your are using the CIO method correctly. And swaddling once your LO can rollover is dangerous for your baby.

    Have you read any books on the method? Read Healthy sleep habits, happy child by Weissbluth.

  • KnbhKnbh member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic First Anniversary
    Get ready for a long reply...

    I second the above mention of "Healthy Sleep Habits."

    My DS had all kinds of health issues and was colicky. As a result, he never learned how to self sooth and was a nightmare to get to sleep.

    At the advice of the book, our pediatrician, nutritionist, and our GI doc, we used the CIO extinction method and stopped using the swaddle all at once.

    It was SO hard, I thought it'd kill me hearing his cries. However, I can honestly say that it was life changing (until CIO, our DS woke every 2-ish hours). Now he's a wonderful sleeper and naps/bedtime is no battle. He's also such a happy baby. When he wakes up, he's in a great mood and is so much more inquisitive and playful. It should be noted that it took about a week for things to get easy.

    The big key is consistency. Every night we:
    -put on PJs
    -go to his room
    -dim the lights (we have a light that stays on so it's not pitch black)
    -turn on his air purifier for white noise
    -bring a bottle
    -feed him while rocking in his room
    -burp him
    -rock and snuggle for a few min
    -lay him down in bed
    -turn on his Baby Einstein aquarium which is really soothing and turns off after 15 min
    -give him his glowworm that he only has at bed/nap time
    -lastly, we don't come back in his room until it's time to feed him or start his day (obviously you need to know her cries though- there is a different cry when in pain)

    If you keep going into the room, you're going to train your DD to cry for however long it took to get you in there. I know it sounds harsh, but that's what I was told by those professionals. The only exception is nap time. You don't let them cry for over an hour.

    All in all, this is what has worked for us. I hope it helps.
  • Will do. My wife just picked up the Ferber book so I'll tell her to check that out when she's done. Thank you!
  • We had a similar situation w/ our daughter. She had acid reflux and ended being on meds prescribed by our GI. As far as the routine you mentioned, I do exactly that. I agree that we are probably not doing the CIO correctly.

    Our LO still sleeps in the Rock N Play. The weird thing is that she'll sleep on our bed, not swaddled, and can self soothe herself to sleep. Just not in her crib. I've heard thing about the soother attached to the crib. Maybe I'll pick it up. My LO just screams, there are no tears.

    Thank you for your advice.
  • Sounds like you lack consistency in anything you try as well. Whatever method you do decide to go with, make sure you stick with it. Remember, you're the parent. You set the expectations and follow through with helping your child achieve them.
    Knbhlindsladle15
  • Yoshi724 said:

    We had a similar situation w/ our daughter. She had acid reflux and ended being on meds prescribed by our GI. As far as the routine you mentioned, I do exactly that. I agree that we are probably not doing the CIO correctly.

    Our LO still sleeps in the Rock N Play. The weird thing is that she'll sleep on our bed, not swaddled, and can self soothe herself to sleep. Just not in her crib. I've heard thing about the soother attached to the crib. Maybe I'll pick it up. My LO just screams, there are no tears.

    Thank you for your advice.



    Read Healthy sleep habits. It addresses all of this.

     

    Knbh
  • KnbhKnbh member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments Photogenic First Anniversary
    It comes down to consistency. Talk with your wife, and then pick one thing and stick with it:

    - where will she sleep? Pick one place for naps and bedtime. Only your bed? Only her crib? Only on a sidecar attached to your bed? Personally, I don't consider the RnP as an option since she'll be too big soon.

    - what time is bedtime (within reason)

    - what time is wake up?

    - what timeline for naps?

    - will you just let her cry after laying her down (CIO extinction)?

    - will you check on her using increasing intervals of time (CIO graduated extinction)?

    - will you just cosleep and sooth on demand?

    There are lots of choices and it's hard, but it will be empowering for you and your wife to have a plan and follow it. Additionally, it'll be less stressful for your daughter knowing what to expect. Depending on what you choose, after a week or two (according to Healthy Sleep Habits), she'll know what the "rules" are and will accept them. It must me the same thing though, or it'll be very confusing for her.

    shortstack930
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