Any single moms out there?

ehgmorse · March 2015

Just curious if there are any single moms or moms to be that are pregnant and doing it all alone out there?

onegoodthing · March 2015

I'm a single mom to two boys ages 4&6 and by some odd stroke of luck got pregnant again with baby #3. My story will be a bit different as I have chosen a path of adoption for this blessing, but still understand being a single mom, and being pregnant with no one around

snikai · March 2015

I was a single mom for pretty much 10 years with my first two. I'm not now, but I definitely know all about it. It's hard in many ways, but in others it can be nice. Like I feel like I have a closer relationship with my kids because of being a single mom and I got to make all the decisions I wanted because there was no one who could rightfully disagree with me.

ehgmorse · March 2015

@onegoodthing how did you cope with being pregnant alone? The father of this child has recently this past week decided to straight up ignore my calls and texts so I think it's safe to say he is out of the picture. Just not sure how to go about handling it and if it is even worth my time to continue to try to reach out or just let it be. And if it's over with fine but I certainly will not be ok if he at some point changes his mind and thinks he will be apart of saying how the kid is raised or having any sort of custody right.

onegoodthing · March 2015

I wasn't alone for the first two I was married. The minute I found out I was pregnant the father bailed and won't have anything to do with me. It's all about putting one foot in front of the other right now. Remaining positive because that baby you are carrying can feel what you feel, and your emotions will shape the nature of your baby.

mpache06 · March 2015

I'm a single FTM!

ehgmorse · March 2015

I'm trying to stay positive but it's hard!! Really ticks me off especially after making such a huge move across country and us talking marriage and now it's like this? I just can't wrap my head around any of it!!

kvilla4 · March 2015

I was 18 when I got pregnant with my son and I was a single mom for about two years my husband as raised him as his own and my son knows no one else as his father only my husband
It's really hard going tru the pregnancy alone but you can do it you honestly don't need a man if I knew everything I knew now! I wouldn't have cried so much you may be alone right now but there's always gonna be a man who can love you and your baby
We're pregnant with baby number two and my son is turning 5 in May
It's been a long journey but you can get tru it
Be strong and cry it out and think about your baby and yourself don't worry about a person who doesn't worry about you
Good luck:) your be okay

megs1409 · March 2015

@ehgmorse - no experience with being single and pregnant, but have close friends who experienced it. Do you have close friends where you are? I know your mentioned a big move across country, does it make sense to move back to where you lived from (presuming you have friends/family there)? You seem like you're a strong woman with a great head on your shoulders, one step at a time and focus on positivity is crucial. Good luck and my thoughts are with you!

Knottie00400192 · March 2015

I was a proud single mother for 7 years...I left my daughters father after 3 years of being together and the baby was 1.5 years old. And let me tell you lol being single in your early twenties is absolutely AMAZING! Lol I had a blast! However, it was not an easy journey. There were times that I would cry myself to sleep because I couldn't understand why her father wouldn't call her or see her or give me money for her. But luckily I had and have an amazing support system and my daughter has been fortunate to be raised like she was from a fortunate family.

My best advice to you is to set goals for yourself so that you can be the best mommy you can be to your child, if you're going to date do not bring them around your child until he is talking marriage and serious about it to the point he's about to propose. NEVER put a man before your child, men will come and go. Never be too proud to ask for help for anything. Take advantage of all programs that will help single mothers. And try not to harbor negative feelings towards the father. Trust me, God has a funny way of working things out for men who do not provide for their children. My daughters father is still living in a shitty life and still doesn't call her or give me money for her. Ugggggh luckily I have married and have a wonderful husband who takes care of her. You will be alright sweetie...trust me, I lived it and I know you will be just fine!

seamonkey4 · March 2015

I'm a single FTM. Right now the hardest part is when people ask me if my boyfriend is excited. It's uncomfortable. But my biggest concern is for when my child gets older, what do I say when they ask why they don't have a father? They will ask around 5 I'm sure, then again when they are older. How do you not break a child's heart by saying well, they didn't want to be the daddy of an awesome child? It keeps me awake at night thinking about it! I am not scared of doing it alone, I'm scared of not crushing my child years from now when they want to know

snikai · March 2015

seamonkey4 said:
I'm a single FTM. Right now the hardest part is when people ask me if my boyfriend is excited. It's uncomfortable. But my biggest concern is for when my child gets older, what do I say when they ask why they don't have a father? They will ask around 5 I'm sure, then again when they are older. How do you not break a child's heart by saying well, they didn't want to be the daddy of an awesome child? It keeps me awake at night thinking about it! I am not scared of doing it alone, I'm scared of not crushing my child years from now when they want to know

That is hard and I almost want to tear up just thinking about your question. My daughters father wasn't around and she started asking about him after she started school and realized how other kids have a mom and a dad. Her father had a drug problem and so I have always explained to her that drugs make you a different person regardless of how much you love someone, that its just so overpowering. I also explained that he did not have a good family life growing up and has no real support, that he doesn't know how to live his life any differently. I grew up without a dad too and my mom just told me the truth that he wasn't ready to settle down, their relationship wasn't that serious, and when he was only showing up for me every now and then she told him that he needs to either be there completely or not at all. He chose not at all. I suppose it should be hurtful, but in reality I've never known what it is to have a father, so you can't really miss someone you've never known.

seamonkey4 · March 2015

@snikai , thank you for that reply. It definitely helps hearing other people have experience in various ways, and it will be okay. My baby will be loved by those choosing to be apart of it's amazing life, and that's what's most important to me.

serome3993 · March 2015

I'm also a single mommy. It's been an emotional roller-coaster so far. Though, in general I know that God will help me through this, the same as my friends and family. If you have a good support team, I believe you can get through anything. I grew up without my father, it was really hard for me. I didn't understand why all my friends had mommies and daddies, but I just had a mommy. I didn't understand why my daddy didn't want anything to do with me. I've grown from it, and it has made me a stronger woman. This is my first rodeo, myself; so I'm concerned too, but I believe I can make it.

ehgmorse · March 2015

@megs1409 no close friends here. All my family and friends are back home in Vermont. I'm going to leave Texas on Monday and head back but I've been so tempted to take a detour to Colorado and make the baby daddy talk to me. I just am so on the fence about it. I'm truly disgusted with him and cannot for the life of me understand why he is doing this when we were talking marriage and a life together. It just completely blindsided me. I know I'll get through it either way what just ticks me off the most is the ignoring and no response. Who does that? After everything he's just going to be like this? It drives me insane.

cvweist · March 2015

I am officially a single mom now. I have many moments of loneliness. I long for the father to want to know if I'm ok or rub my tummy. When I am scared in the ER being poked and prodded all alone. Knowing I am the only one that cares sucks the worst. I do have my big girl panties on and am getting my mind right for myself and my child. I'm 26 and those now 6 years were spent married. Single in my 20s, I am trying to find that joy expressed above. Embracing the suck. I am grateful for the miracle that is my baby.

awsmallz · March 2015

I'm a FTM and share a lot in common with you ladies.
If a man can leave us like this they sure as heck weren't raised right!

"If you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best"
-Unknown

Leaving your pregnant wife/gf doesn't magically make her not pregnant anymore..I don't know why so many men do this.. such cowards.
Why not stay with your woman?
Love her,support her,be there.

I know what you are all going through.. every ultrasound,every doctors/hospital visit.. you wish you could tell the dad and have his input and love and support.It hurts,I know.

Darn it.. If I was filthy rich I'd try to be there for all of you!
I hate going to appointments alone especially when everyone usually has their spouse or their bfs with them and your sitting there by yourself

I am really looking forward to going through this whole pregnancy experience with you lovely ladies..Even if we are alone in this.. at least we have eachother >:D<

tinyfeets · March 2015

Also a single, FTM.

My boyfriend of about a year decided it was "too much to deal with" because he apparently never wanted children in the first place (Uh... news to me, buddy.) He insists by me having this baby that I'm trying to ruin his life because he's trying to start a business, buy a house, etc. It's really hurtful when the person you love treats you like you're carrying the plague rather than his child.

I'm 29, single, away from all my family/friends and in a relatively new job that includes 14 hour days and lots of stress. But it's not the end of the world and I'm thankful for what I've done for myself and my baby.

I've found that sites like MeetUp actually have a TON of groups for single moms, single moms-to-be, etc. You're not the only person going at it alone and you're definitely not the only person who'd love nothing more than support from others in the same position.

Going to appointments alone is definitely difficult but I try to think of it as "me and baby" time. It's just me and the little bean and those are our special moments together.

The guy who chose not be around just may not be able to hack it. But, hey, YOU can! At some point, we all just need to realize how awesome we are and that someone else doesn't GIVE us that.

Really awesome to see everyone's here to support each other. You ladies are amazing

megs1409 · March 2015

Good luck in your drive! Thinking of you and sending you virtual support! Hang in there mama!!

serome3993 · March 2015

@awsmallz Girl, you just made me cry

Nessy430 · March 2015

My mom went through her entire pregnancy with me alone at the age of 20/21... My biological dad thought she was lying about being pregnant to get back together with him [-X . It was really hard for her especially since she is Mormon & clearly was having sex out of wedlock. I can't imagine how difficult it was for her to go through this whole pregnancy process alone and probably judged by many people, but she did find love and started dating someone when I was about 6 months old. You ladies will be ok, I believe in all of you!

On another note, my husband and I were married for a little over 4 years when we decided we had grown apart too much, had been fighting for well over a year, and separated. About a month after we separated and he had moved out.... Guess who found out they were pregnant! And it was actually the last time we had had sex before we split lol. Talk about timing. I do believe everything happens for a reason and that this baby was a blessing that came right when she needed to, to make us realize we do love and need each other. Every one of your babies is a blessing and things are all happening the way they are now because there is something else in store for you....whether it be a future with the father, or with someone else. :-)

awsmallz · March 2015

@serome3993 >:D<

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