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February 2015 Moms
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Resenting my partner

kcofrinkcofrin member
in February 2015 Moms
A few weeks before my daughter was born my SO put his hand through the table saw at work and he hasn't been able to help me with any diaper changes or feedings. He can't even pick her up so all of the duties fall upon me. I know it's not his fault, but I can't help but feel a lot of resentment towards him about it. I just feel like a single parent and this is not how I pictured our new life together. I need to find a way to get over these feelings because I don't want it to ruin our relationship
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Re: Resenting my partner

  • katmarie25katmarie25 member
    I am so sorry that happened. Just remember that you are going through a lot yourself (hormones). Just keep in mind you are doing the best that you can and make sure you are taking care of yourself. Talk with your SO about your feelings and maybe find ways for your SO to help/contribute. Communicating can go a long way. I hope it gets better soon!
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  • usmcwife89usmcwife89 member
    4 weeks after LO was born my husband completely tore his ACL and two other ligaments in his knee. After being in a routine and everything with my husband, it was way harder for us. Over night I gained another person to care for all the time. I'm not mad about it because it was an accident and it is not like my husband wanted this to happen. Yes it's hard, frustrating and sometimes annoying but you will get into your own routine. These injuries heal with time, so this won't be forever. Don't be afraid to ask friends or family for help either
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  • kcofrinkcofrin member
    That would be extremely hard to have a routine already established and then have it ripped away, I can't imagine. I knew things were going to be more difficult from the get go, and I'm starting to get used to our new normal it's just been a roller coaster of emotions. I think he's upset that he's unable to share the responsibilities as well but i should definitely just talk it out with him and figure out some ways he can pitch in. I just don't want him to end up feeling even more guilty then he already does.
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  • Boehrig2Boehrig2 member
    Yea talking sounds good. Maybe the two of you can get creative in how he helps. Maybe he can do meals with one hand (pretty sure you can dial a number and pick up take out!!). Could he be in charge of arranging a helper to come and well, help? Even if HE can't do diapers etc, he can be in charge of organizing someone who can.
    And sorry! That does suck. My DH loves holding DD, I imagine it's be really stressful for him if he couldn't. He'd do a lot of snuggling in bed I think! Y'all will do it!!
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  • parfaiteparfaite member
    What about him wearing a baby carrier and going for little walks with the baby to give you breaks? Speaking from experience because this is what my husband does :) You could help baby in and out of the carrier!
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  • kcofrinkcofrin member
    That's actually a really good idea! I've been wanting to order one anyway so that I can wear her and get some house work done :)
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