Order of the bedtime routine for babies who put themselves to sleep

mbcorva · March 2015

Hi all... Was wondering if you all would be so kind to tell me what your bedtime routine is if you have a child who goes to sleep by himself? My daughter is 13 months old and we have had pretty much the same bedtime routine since before she was 3 months. Bath, lotion & pjs, reads books with daddy, then I nurse to sleep and put in the crib asleep. From 7 weeks until 8 months, she slept 10-12 hours through the night every single night. For the past 5 months, she's up anywhere from once to 10 times a night, sometimes for hours at a time, and needs to be nursed or rocked back to sleep. I physically cannot do it anymore. I want her to learn how to go to sleep on her own so she can hopefully do that in the middle of the night. Please help me by sharing your routine... Thank you from a very tired and drained mama!

SharonB222 · March 2015

Hmmm, I thought I qualified to answer since my DS puts himself to sleep at bedtime, but for the past 3 months he's up 3-4x a night on average, 2x on a good night and 8x on a bad night - I contribute it to teething and colds. Recently DH has been caring for DS most of the night b/c I needed a break too. As with my DD before, I expect when DS' 1st year molars break through he'll be back to STTN (mostly). In any case, our routine is short: PJs, nurse, 2 books, on stomach in crib w/music - hand on his back 5 minutes and we're out the door. Usually DS goes right to sleep, sometimes he fusses for 10 min; it's a rare night he continues to fuss and then we either co-sleep and/or give him pain relievers. It was at this age DD was also inconsolable at night and we started co-sleeping. For both our kids this is a sleepless age. Like I said, I blame it on colds and teething, but could be developmental. I don't know. Our DD (3.5y) is a great sleeper, so it passed. So sorry for the hardship! I hope your DD feels better soon!

rspalding001 · March 2015

For us we do dinner then bath. After bath I give her a bottle (only at night now, we are trying to wean and she has tippie cups during the day). She sits by herself with the bottle or on my lap depending but we don't rock. After bottle we brush our teeth, change into the night time diaper, sometimes read sometime not. Then we turn on her turtle night light ( timed to turn off after 45 mins) say good night and I put her in her crib awake. She usually goes to sleep pretty quickly.

Now to get to that point I will admit I soothed her to sleep by bouncing her in my arms on a medicine ball for a long time. One night around 12 months I noticed her reaching for her crib and realized she wanted to go to bed so I put her down kissed her and walked away. Ever since that night she has wanted to go to bed without being held.

She still gas nights where she fusses, and she still has nights where she wakes up and needs help falling back asleep ( patting her but or back usually work) but in general she does very well now with our routine.

Good luck Mama!

Crequito · March 2015

We do dinner, playtime/tv time (she gets to pick one 30 minute show to watch), then bath, pajamas and rocking with mama. I usually put her in her crib mostly awake but sleepy and she lays herself down. She'll sometimes roll around in the crib getting comfortable with her blanket and stuffed toys but gets to sleep at a max 30 minutes after I put her down. If DD wakes up in the night I only go in her room if she's using what I call her scary cry - uncontrollable, nonstop, I know something is wrong cry. Otherwise, if she's just fussy or talking to her toys I leave her alone and she puts herself back to sleep.

We went through some awful sleep periods with 1st year molars and anytime DD has been really sick (ear infection or strep). But as long as you stick to the routine eventually LO will get back on track. We also employed CIO beginning at 9 months because DH and I went for 2 weeks alternating who would sleep sitting up with DD because that was the only way she'd sleep and we were at our wits end. Within 3 nights she was putting herself to sleep with no tears. I know it's not for everybody but it worked for us and I have a very happy toddler.

Good luck!!!

MrsStanger · March 2015

We follow the same routine you do. From day one this has been our routine and has worked great. The one year molars were our only hiccup so far. After the up and down for that period of time she knew if she cried for me I would come to her. We did 2 nights of CIO (mind you it was for no more than 15 minutes) and she doesn't wake in the night any longer unless she has gone potty. Every child is different and when we tried the CIO I had to leave the house and let daddy handle the monitor until the 15 was up. I can not stand to hear her cry for me and not go to her. I would ask how it went when I went back in and he assured me she didn't cry but for 2-3 minutes.

SharonB222 · March 2015

@mbcorva, is it better yet? My LO is past his cold and about to cut his next tooth and he's STTN again! Thank goodness. At least until the next cold or tooth...

mbcorva · March 2015

Thank you all so much for the feedback and replies!! So about a week ago (the night I posted) we were so tired that we tried CIO. We would go in after a little bit of time and then wait a little longer every time after that. It went on for HOURS and each time we left the crying got stronger and louder. Needless to say, we decided it wasn't for us and our very persistent little girl

The next night I put her down drowsy, but stayed in the room with her until she fell asleep. It only took a little while and no crying. We decided that from then on, there would be no more getting out of the crib in the middle of the night to nurse or rock. Each time she woke up, she would get a sip of water and we would lay her back down. For a few nights, this went on for hours, but we never gave in and picked her up. After a few days all we had to do was pat the mattress and she would lay day all by herself. We've had to stay in there with her for a few minutes because every once in a while she would sit up to look for us and then when she saw us standing there, she would lay back down. Fast forward to last night, and she slept through the night, minus one two minute wake-up where I went in and gave her the straw cup with water and she just plopped back down on the mattress and went to sleep! I'm not expecting this every night, but I'm so much more hopeful now that we'll have happy nights ahead

Even though she's still waking up and wanting us, she's figured out that she's not getting picked up and accepting it.

She has finally cut a molar this week, with another on the way. I hope that everyone will get some peace once it comes through! Thanks again for your thoughts!

SharonB222 · March 2015

Thanks for the update! Congrats on some success!

shellyeyes · March 2015

My daughter has never slept thru the night and she's almost 21 months. It didn't matter what my husband and I did. She would wake 2-4 times per night. I nursed to sleep for a long time but we switched to night bottles at around 16 months and she was completely weaned at 18 months. She still gets warm milk in her sippy before sleep. We've always had a mist humidifier in my daughter's room but she would still get congested. Thru trial and error I think we've finally figured it out. To help her breathe better (ALL NIGHT LONG) we put All Natural Baby Chest Rub on her. Since I'm pregnant with #2 I couldn't be more happier for my husband (because he has the night shift) that she has slept 3 nights in a row (thru the night) for the first time ever!!!!

shhand01 · March 2015

We just hired a sleep consultant. We were rocking our 13 month old to sleep and he was waking numerous times at night. We used the "chair method" it's a more gentle approAch than CIO. So far it has worked for us - there is still some improvement to be made but our DS is very strong-willed and driven

MrsStanger · April 2015

We have the exact same bedtime routine that you do. When DD started waking numerous times in the night we had to do a stretch of CIO. At that age they know that you will come running if you hear them cry. my suggestion is when she cries let her cry for 5 minutes before you check on her. You should be able to tell the different cries apart by now so if its serious you would know. Its hard to sit there but youll have the clock to watch. It only took 2 nights for our DD to stop. Good luck!

PrimRoseMama · April 2015

DD didn't do this until 2.5 years old. I did the Wait It Out Routine. When they are ready they will. I advise not forcing it.

mhwood · April 2015

From 6 months, our bedtime routine consisted of quiet time, diaper change and pajamas, reading a book or two, cuddles, and then into bed still awake. From that point until now (16 months) she sleeps from 6:30/7 pm until 7:30/8 am every night without fully waking.

I say "fully waking" because the odd time she will cry out, but she is never awake when she does it, it is always while she is fast asleep.

PreethiNaveenKumar · May 2015

My LO is 11 months old. She never sleeps in the crib. She sleeps with me. I started to bring her into routine when she was nine months old. I give her a bath and change her into her PJs. We both go to bed at the same time. I switch off the lights. When I started the routine, I used to make her lie on her tummy and pat her back. I had to pat for a longer time and only then, she slept. Then, I stopped the pats. I just put her on her tummy and she slept in a few minutes. After few days, I stopped putting her on her tummy. She played for a while and slept somewhere around me. I used to put her near me after ensuring that she was in her deep sleep. Nowadays, she plays for awhile and when she feels sleepy, she comes near me and sleeps with me.

After her bath, I think she knows that it is bedtime and wants me to take her to the bedroom. She roams around me and cries until I take her to the bed.

Preethi NaveenKumar,

www.diyanaveenkumar.com

Stephorse · May 2015

It took us a long time to do this! But we usually do a bath, followed by pjs, playtime with a snack, and then the last half hour we have a bottle (soon a sippy cup) and read books and brush teeth. Then I put him down awake in his crib. He usually is asleep about 5-7 min after putting him down. It took about a week. We first waited until he was pretty drowsy and read him some books and then we would put him in the crib asleep. Then we started slowly transitioning him to being awake. He would cry, but I would not let him cry for more than 5 min. We would then go in pick him up read another 2 books and then put him down again. He sleeps through the night and falls asleep on his own. Granted he wasn't doing this until he turned 15 months old, so like I said it took us a while, but I'm so glad it's working now!

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Order of the bedtime routine for babies who put themselves to sleep

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