Waiting to start TTC and can't get babies OFF the brain

pat87 · March 2015

Hi Ladies!!

I'm 28 and my DH is 31. We have been talking about having a baby for a long time, but decided on waiting until after two of my best friends' weddings, because they are both destination weddings and I'm a bridesmaid in both weddings. That means we need to wait until February 2016 to start TTC. I have been okay with that decision until recently, that for some reason, I can't get babies off my mind. I just can't wait!!! I decided to then focus on getting as prepared as possible, since I have so much time. But maybe it's just driving me crazy, instead of helping...

Anyway, I just want to know if anyone is going through the same thing?!

bmo88 · March 2015

While it's great you are willing to wait until after your friends weddings, keep in mind, other friends will likely get married as well. If you keep pushing back TTC due to other people's life circumstances, you may never TTC!

I would say never TTC before you feel ready, but also don't try and work around other people's lives/plans.

Personally, we are waiting to TTC and probably won't start until 2017. We are still young (26 and 28), so we have time and we want our finances to be order. We are focusing on paying off all our debt (primarily student loans) in the next two years and taking a few big trips (Europe, East Coast).

pat87 · March 2015

Hi @bmo88, thanks for commenting. I agree with you, I shouldn't push back TTC because of my friends' life events. I've been rethinking my plans lately and I think we can start earlier, since the weddings are in December and March. But we'll see... I have to let my DH know and see what he thinks... haha.

It's good that you are focusing on those things first!! I'm trying to get my student loans paid off as well... Anyway, good luck!!

mrs riva · March 2015

You could definitely move up the TTC, no need to put your life on hold for others' plans.

I'm playing the waiting game, too. My H and I are thinking of TTC Sept this year. We're just waiting for our lease to be over so we can buy a house. To keep myself busy, I've been working out a lot. I really want to get back in shape before TTC. My H actually told me once I hit my fitness goals, we could start TTC. Talk about motivation!

TexasGal24 · March 2015

If you want to have a baby then start TTC! You waiting is a nice gesture but don't put your life on hold for another person's wedding a year from now. What if you wait and then they cancel the wedding last minute? You have no idea what could happen between now and then. Put your family first.

**Edit** I agree with bmo88 only start TTC if you are ready to. If you are ready to but the only thing holding you up is your friends wedding, then I think everyone would be understanding of your decision to start your family **

pat87 · March 2015

Hello!! Thank you for your advice!

@mrsriva that is indeed a huge motivation!!

Are you planning on getting a preconception checkup? I've heard so many mixed opinions about it being necessary or not...

@TexasGal24 I agree with you. I talked to my husband and he said we can discuss our possibly changed TTC schedule in May, when he is expecting a raise (*fingers crossed*). We might move it up to November, just so that we can travel to both weddings, even if I'm pregnant.

satuttle1014 · March 2015

My husband and I want to start trying probably more in July once my pill perscription runs out and just not ask for a refill next month at my regular year checkup. My friend is getting married next month and I am a bridesmaid, I said really anytime after that because I didn't want to be 6 months pregnant as a bridesmaid or anything if we had a honeymoon baby. My sister was 2 or 3 months as a bridesmaid in my wedding. I totally agree that if you want to start trying then go for it but also I'm like I wouldn't want to be 6 months pregnant as a bridesmaid. I would start trying when you feel ready, you could get pregnant on the first try or it could take awhile. Healthy couples it could take up to a year so I'm like I don't know which I will be so I might as well try early and find out what happens. Life happens when you are too busy making plans.

mrs riva · March 2015

@pat87 I'm not doing a preconception visit. I talked to my doctor at my last regular appointment and she just said to take prenatals and let her know when I'm pregnant.

I don't think they're necessary, unless you have some major health concerns (i.e. Meds you take, etc) that you want to discuss with your doctor. If you have questions, you could always email your doctor.

pat87 · March 2015

@satuttle1014 that's EXACTLY what I was thinking when I decided to wait until after the weddings, but "baby fever" came sooner than expected, haha... As you said, no one knows if it happens on the first try or if it takes a while, so I think I can risk being 5-6 months pregnant for the last wedding.

You are starting very soon!! that's great! good luck!

@mrsriva thank you!

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